“What did you do then?” asked Joe, becoming interested.
“What could I do? I am–er–no army man–no fighter. Evidently the major wants a fighter for a son-in-law,” and Felix Gussing groaned once more.
“You’ll have to become a fighter,” said Joe.
“No! no! I am a er–a man of peace!” cried the dude, in alarm.
“Mr. Gussing, I think I can arrange matters for you,” said Joe, struck by a certain idea.
“What can you mean, Joe?”
“I mean that I can prove to Major Sampson that you are a brave man.”
“Do that, Joe, and I shall be your friend for life!” gasped the dude.
“Will you wait until to-morrow, Mr. Gussing?”
“Certainly, but do not keep me in suspense too long.”
“This may cost you a little money.”
“I don’t care if it costs a hundred dollars.”
“Then I am sure I can fix it up for you,” answered Joe.
There was stopping at the hotel a man named Montgomery. He had at different times been an auctioneer, a book-agent, a schoolmaster, and a traveling salesman. He was just now selling curiosities and Joe felt that he would be only too glad to do Felix Gussing a good turn if he were paid for it.
Our hero had a talk with this man, and the upshot of the matter was that Montgomery and the dude were introduced on the following morning.
“I think I can help you, Mr. Gussing,” said the curiosity man, who, it may be mentioned here, was a tall and important-looking personage. “I was once in the army.”
“What can you do?” questioned the dude, hopefully.
“Will it be worth fifty dollars to you if I aid you in winning the consent of Major Sampson to wed his daughter?”
“Decidedly.”
“This is also Joe’s plan, so you will have to pay him, too.”
“I don’t want any money,” put in our hero.
“Joe shall have ten dollars–if your plan wins out. But how is all this to be accomplished?” continued Felix Gussing.
“We will take the earliest possible opportunity to visit Major Sampson,” said Ulmer Montgomery.
“Well?”
“When we are all together, we’ll get into some sort of an argument. You shall call me a fool and I’ll slap you in the face. Then you shall challenge me to a duel.”
“A duel! Why, sir, I–er–I never could shoot you, and I don’t want to be shot myself.”
“My dear Mr. Gussing, you don’t understand me. Don’t you comprehend, the pistols shall be loaded with powder only.”
“Ah, that’s the idea!” exclaimed the dude, much relieved.
“Yes. You see it will only be a sham duel so far as we are concerned, but will, in the most harmless fashion possible, prove you to be a man of honor and courage. Major Sampson’s scruples will vanish, and you will have the pleasure of gaining his daughter’s hand in marriage.
“I agree, Mr. Montgomery–the plan is a famous one. Is it yours or is it Joe’s?”
“Joe’s–but it will fall to me to help carry it out,” said the Jack-of-all-trades, who did not lose sight of the fifty dollars that had been promised to him.
On the following day Felix Gussing and Mr. Montgomery took themselves to Major Sampson’s residence, where the stranger was introduced as a curiosity hunter from Chicago.
“He wishes to look at your collection of swords,” said the dude.
“I shall be delighted to show them,” said the major, who was a person of great self-importance.
“Ah, this is a fine sword from the Holy Land,” said Mr. Montgomery, handling one of the blades.
“I don’t know where it came from,” said the major. “It was presented to me by a friend from Boston.”
“That is a Russian sword,” said the dude. “I know it by its handle.”
“That sword is from the Holy Land,” insisted Mr. Montgomery.
“Anybody is a fool to talk that way,” cried Felix Gussing.
“Ha! do you call me a fool, sir!” stormed Montgomery.
“Gentlemen!” put in the major. “I think—-”
“I am not a fool, sir, and I want you to know it!” bellowed Ulmer Montgomery. “It’s an outrage to call me such. Take that, sir!” and he slapped Felix Gussing lightly on the cheek.