alien folk. It helps Merseia, yes; we need to know them; but I have
wanted their lore for its own sake. And Djana, I have not perpetually
found mere primitive superstition. A herb, a practice, a story, a
philosophy … how dare we say nothing real is in them, when we come new
to a world that gave birth to those who live on it? Among folk who had
no machines I saw, a few times, happenings that I do not believe any
machine could bring about.
“In a sense, I became a mystic, in another sense, none, for where is the
border between ‘natural’ and ‘transcendental’? Hypnosis, hysterical
strength and stigmata, sensory heightening, psychosomatics,
telepathy–such things are scorned in the scientific youth of
civilizations, later accepted, when understanding has grown. I am simply
using techniques that may, perhaps, advance comprehension where gauges
and meters cannot.
“Once I got leave to visit Chereion. That is the most eldritch planet I
have seen, a dominion of the Roidhunate but only, I think, because that
serves the ends of its dwellers, whatever those ends are. For they are
old, old. They had a civilization a million years ago that may have
reached beyond this galaxy, where we have barely started to burrow about
at the end of one spiral arm. It disappeared; they cannot or will not
say why, and it suits a few of them to be too useful to Merseia for us
to risk angering the rest. Yes, we haughty conquerors walk softly among
them!
“I was received among the disciples of Aycharaych, in his castle at
Raal. He has looked deeper into the mind–not the mind of his people, or
yours, or any single one, but somehow into that quality of pandemic Mind
which the scientists deny can exist–he has looked deeper into this, I
believe, than any other being alive. He could not evoke in me what I did
not have to be evoked; or else he did not choose to. But he taught me
what he said I could use; and without that skill, that way of existing
in the cosmos, I would never have done half what I have. Think: in a
single decade, we are well on the way to full communication with both
races on Talwin.
“I want, not to probe your soul, Djana, but to join with you in
exploring it. I want to know the inwardness of being human; and you may
see what it is to be Merseian.”
The flames danced and whispered among moving shadows; the figures on the
monolith traced a path that could almost be followed; the smoke whirled
in her veins; around her and through her crooned the lullaby voice of
Father.
“Do not be afraid of what you see, Djana. These things are archaic, yes,
they speak of pagan cults and witchcraft, but that is because they come
from primeval sources, from the beast that lived before mind was kindled
in it. One day those tokens may no longer be needed. Or perhaps they
will be, perhaps they go deeper even than I imagine. I do not know and I
want to know. It will help to mesh awarenesses with a human, Djana …
no terrified captive, no lickspittle turncoat, no sniveler about peace
and brotherhood, no pseudomorph grown up among us apart from his own
breed … but one who has come to me freely, out of the depths of the
commonalty that bred her, one who has known alike the glory and the
tragedy of being human.
“These are symbols, Diana, certain objects, certain rites, which
different thinking species have found will help raise buried parts of
the soul. And brought forth, those parts can be understood, controlled,
strengthened. Remember what the discipline of the body can do. Remember
likewise the discipline of the spirit; calm, courage, capability can be
learned, if the means are known; they take nothing but determination.
Now ask yourself: What more remains?
“Djana, you could become strong.”
“Yes,” she said.
And she was gazing into the water, and the fire, and the crystal, and
the shadows within …
A hostel at night. Fire leaping red and gold, chuckling as it lights the