A Hat Full of Sky by Terry Pratchett

‘Well?’ she said, haughtily, or what she probably thought was haughtily. It sounded a

bit strangled.

‘Bless all in this house,’ said Tiffany.

‘What? Oh, yes. Favourable runes shine on this our meeting,’ said Mrs Earwig

hurriedly. ‘Well?’

‘I’ve come to see Annagramma,’ said Tiffany. There really was too much silver.

‘Oh, are you one of her girls?’ said Miss Earwig.

‘Not . . . exactly,’ said Tiffany. ‘I work with Miss Level’

‘Oh, her,’ said Mrs Earwig, looking her up and down. ‘Green is a very dangerous

colour. What is your name, child?’

‘Tiffany.’

‘Hmm,’ said Mrs Earwig, not approving at all. ‘Well, you had better come in.’ She

glanced up and made a tch! sound. ‘Oh, will you look at that? I bought that at the

craft fair over in Slice, too. It was very expensive!’

The curse-net was hanging in tatters.

‘You didn’t do that, did you?’ Mrs Earwig demanded.

‘It’s too high, Mrs Earwig,’ said Tiffany.

‘It’s pronounced Ah-wij,’ said Mrs Earwig coldly.

‘Sorry, Mrs Earwig.’

‘Come.’

It was a strange house. You couldn’t doubt that a witch lived in it, and not just

because every doorframe had a tall pointy bit cut out of the top of it to allow Mrs

Earwig’s hat to pass through. Miss Level had nothing on her walls except circus posters,

but Mrs Earwig had proper big paintings everywhere and they were all. . . witchy. There were lots of crescent moons and young women with quite frankly not enough clothes

on, and big men with horns and, ooh, not just horns. There were suns and moon on the

tiles of the floor, and the ceiling of the room Tiffany was led into was high, blue and painted

with stars. Mrs Earwig (pronounced Ah-wij) pointed to a chair with gryphon’s feet and

crescent-shaped cushions.

‘Sit there,’ she said. ‘I will tell Annagramma you are here. Do not kick the chairlegs,

please.’

She went out via another door.

Tiffany looked around –

the hiver looked around

• – and thought: I’ve got to be the strongest. When I

am strongest, I shall be safe. That one is weak. She

thinks you can buy magic.

‘Oh, it really is you,’ said a sharp voice behind her. ‘The cheese girl.’ Tiffany stood up.

– the hiver had been many things, including a number of wizards, because wizards sought

power all the time and

sometimes found, in their treacherous circles, not some demon who was so stupid that it could

be tricked with threats and riddles, but the hiver, which was so stupid that it could not be tricked at all. And the hiver remembered-

Annagramma was drinking a glass of milk. Once you’d seen Mrs Earwig, you

understood something about Annagramma. There was an air about her that she was

taking notes about the world in order to draw up a list of suggestions for

improvements.

‘Hello,’ said Tiffany.

‘I suppose you came along to beg to be allowed to join after all, have you? I suppose

you might be fun.’

‘No, not really. But I might let you join me,’ said Tiffany. ‘Are you enjoying that

milk?’

The glass of milk turned into a bunch of thistles and grass. Annagramma dropped it

hurriedly. When it hit the floor, it became a glass of milk again, and shattered and

splashed.

Tiffany pointed at the ceiling. The painted stars flared, filling the room with light. But

Annagramma stared at the spilled milk. ‘You know they say the power comes?’ said

Tiffany, walking around her. ‘Well, it’s come to me. Do you want to be my friend? Or do

you want to be . . . in my way? I should clean up that milk, if I was you.’

She concentrated. She didn’t know where this was coming from, but it seemed to

know exactly what to do.

Annagramma rose a few inches off the floor. She

struggled and tried to run, but that only made her spin. To Tiffany’s dreadful delight,

the girl started to cry.

‘You said we ought to use our power,’ said Tiffany, walking around her as

Annagramma tried to break free. ‘You said if we had the gift, people ought to know

about it. You’re a girl with her head screwed on right.’ Tiffany bent down a bit to

look her in the eye. ‘Wouldn’t it be awful if it got screwed on wrong?’

She waved a hand and her prisoner dropped to the ground. But while Annagramma was

unpleasant she wasn’t a coward, and she rose up with her mouth open to yell and a

hand upraised- ‘Careful,’ said Tiffany. 1 can do it again.’ Annagramma wasn’t stupid

either. She lowered her hand and shrugged.

‘Well, you have been lucky,’ she said grudgingly. ‘But I still need your help,’ said

Tiffany. ‘Why would you need my help?’ said Annagramma sulkily.

– We need allies, the hiver thought with Tiffany’s mind. They can help protect us. If

necessary, we can sacrifice them. Other creatures will always want to be friends with the

powerful, and this one loves power –

To start with,’ said Tiffany, ‘where can I get a dress like yours?’

Annagramma’s eyes lit up. ‘Oh, you want Zakzak Stronginthearm, over in Sallett

Without,’ she said. ‘He sells everything for the modern witch.’

‘Then I want everything,’ said Tiffany.

‘He’ll want paying,’ Annagramma went on. ‘He’s a dwarf. They know real gold from

illusion gold. Everyone tries it out on him, of course. He just laughs. If you try it

twice, he’ll make a complaint to your mistress.’

‘Miss Tick said a witch should have just enough money,’ said Tiffany.

That’s right,’ said Annagramma. ‘Just enough to buy everything she wants! Mrs

Earwig says that just because we’re witches we don’t have to live like peasants. But

Miss Level is old-fashioned, isn’t she? Probably hasn’t got any money in the house.’

And Tiffany said, ‘Oh, I know where I can get some money. I’ll meet you please help

me! here this afternoon and you can show me where his place is.’

‘What was that?’ said Annagramma sharply.

‘I just said I’d stop me! meet you here this-‘ Tiffany began.

‘There it was again! There was a sort of . . . odd echo in your voice,’ said

Annagramma. ‘Like two people trying to talk at once.’

‘Oh, that,’ said the hiver. That’s nothing. It’ll stop soon.’

It was an interesting mind and the hiver enjoyed using it – but always there was

that one place, that little place that was closed; it was annoying, like an itch that

wouldn’t go away . . . It did not think. The mind of the hiver was just

what remained of all the other minds it had once lived in. They were like echoes

after the music is taken away. But even echoes, bouncing off one another, can

produce new harmonies.

They clanged now. They rang out things like: Fit in. Not strong enough yet to make

enemies. Have friends . . .

Zakzak’s low-ceilinged, dark shop had plenty to spend your money on. Zakzak was

indeed a dwarf, and they’re not traditionally interested in using magic, but he

certainly knew how to display merchandise, which is what they are very good at.

There were wands, mostly of metal, some of rare woods. Some had shiny crystals

stuck on them, which of course made them more expensive. There were bottles of

coloured glass in the ‘potions’ section and, oddly enough, the smaller the bottle, the

more expensive it was.

That’s because there’s often very rare ingredients, like the tears of some rare snake or

something,’ said Annagramma.

‘I didn’t know snakes cried,’ said Tiffany.

‘Don’t they? Oh, well, I expect that’s why it’s expensive.’

There was plenty of other stuff. Shambles hung from the ceiling, much prettier and

more interesting than the working ones that Tiffany had seen. Since they were made up

complete, then surely they were dead, just like the ones Miss Level kept for orna-

mentation. But they looked good – and looking good was important.

There were even stones for looking into.

‘Crystal balls,’ said Annagramma as Tiffany picked one up. ‘Careful! They’re very

expensive!’ She pointed to a sign, which had been placed thoughtfully amongst the

glittering globes. It said:

Lovely to look at

Nice to hold

If you drop it

You get torn apart by wild horses

Tiffany held the biggest one in her hand and saw how Zakzak moved slightly away

from his counter, ready to rush forward with a bill if she dropped it.

‘Miss Tick uses a saucer of water with a bit of ink poured into it,’ she said. ‘And she

usually borrows the water and cadges the ink, at that.’

‘Oh, a fundamentalist/ said Annagramma. ‘Letice -that’s Mrs Earwig – says they let us

down terribly. Do we really want people to think witches are just a bunch of mad old

women who look like crows? That’s so gingerbread-cottagey! We really ought to be

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