Blyton, Enid – Famous Five 14 – Five Have Plenty of Fun

Uncle Quentin looked surprised. ‘Do I really? Bless us all! Don’t I go to bed some nights then?’

Berta laughed. ‘You’re like my Pops! Sometimes he doesn’t know what day of the week it is, even! And yet he’s supposed to be one of the cleverest guys in the world!’

‘Guy?’ said Uncle Quentin, surprised, immediately thinking of Firework Night. Everyone laughed. Anne patted her uncle’s knee. ‘It’s all right, Uncle,’ she said, ‘he’s not going to sit on the top of a bonfire!’

But Uncle Quentin was not listening. He had suddenly seen a letter marked ‘IMPORTANT’ on the top of his pile of correspondence, and he picked it up.

‘Well, unless I’m much mistaken, here’s a letter from your father,’ he said to Berta. ‘I’ll see what he says.’

He opened the letter and read it to himself. Then he looked up. ‘It’s all about you – er – er…’

‘Her name’s Berta,’ said Aunt Fanny, patiently.

‘About you, Berta,’ said Uncle Quentin. ‘But I must say your father has some very strange ideas. Yes, very strange.’

‘What are they?’ asked his wife.

‘Well – he says she must be disguised – in case anyone comes to find her here,’ said Uncle Quentin. ‘And he wants her name changed – and, bless us all, he wants us to buy her boys’ clothes – and cut her hair short – and dress her up as a boy!’

Everyone listened in surprise. Berta gave a little squeal.

‘I won’t! I WON’T be dressed up as a boy! I won’t have my hair cut off. Don’t you dare to make me! I WON’T!’

Chapter Six

A FEW UPSETS

Berta looked so upset that Aunt Fanny acted quickly and firmly. ‘Don’t bother about that letter now, Quentin,’ she said. ‘We’ll go through it afterwards and decide what to do. Let’s have our breakfast in peace.’

‘I won’t have my hair cut off,’ said Berta, again. Uncle Quentin was not used to being defied openly like this, and he scowled. He looked at his wife.

‘Surely you are not going to let this – er what’s her name now – Bertha…’

‘Berta,’ said everyone automatically.

‘I said that we would not discuss this till after breakfast,’ said Aunt Fanny, in the kind of voice that made everyone, including Uncle Quentin, quite certain that she meant what she said. Her husband folded up the letter and opened the next one, frowning. The children looked at one another.

Berta to be a boy! Goodness! If ever anyone looked less like a boy it was Berta! George was most annoyed. She loved to dress like a boy, but she didn’t feel inclined to urge anyone else to! She looked at Berta, who was eating her breakfast with tears in her eyes. What a baby! She wouldn’t even look like a boy, if she was dressed in boys’ clothes. She would just look absolutely silly.

Julian began a conversation with his aunt about the garden. She was grateful to him for breaking up the sudden awkwardness caused by the letter. She was very fond of Julian. ‘I can always depend on him,’ she thought, and talked gladly of the garden fruit, and who would pick the raspberries for lunch and whether the wasps would eat all the plums or not!

Dick joined in, and Anne, and soon Berta did too. Only George and her father remained gloomy. They both looked so exactly alike in solemn, rather frowning expressions that Julian nudged Dick and nodded towards them.

Dick grinned. ‘Like father, like daughter!’ he said. ‘Cheer up, George. Don’t you like your breakfast?’

George was just about to answer crossly when Anne gave an exclamation. ‘Oh, look at Uncle Quentin! He’s putting mustard on his toast – Aunt Fanny, stop him – he’s just going to eat it!’

Everyone roared with laughter. Aunt Fanny managed to smack her husband’s hand down from his mouth, just as he was putting his toast and mustard up to it, reading a letter at the same time.

‘Hey – what’s the matter?’ he said, startled.

‘Quentin – that’s the second time this month you’ve spread your toast with mustard instead of with marmalade,’ said his wife. ‘Do have a little sense.’

After that everyone became very cheerful. Uncle Quentin laughed at himself, and George saw the funny side and laughed loudly too, which made Timmy bark, and Berta giggled. Aunt Fanny was quite relieved that her husband had done such a silly thing.

‘Do you remember when Father poured custard all over his fried fish once?’ George said, entering into the talk for the first time. ‘And he said it was the best egg-sauce he had ever tasted?’

The conversation was very animated after that, and Aunt Fanny felt happier. ‘You girls can clear away and wash up the breakfast things for Joan,’ she said. ‘Or two of you can and the other can make the beds with me.’

‘What about my little dog?’ said Berta, suddenly remembering her again. ‘I haven’t seen her yet, because I was only just in time for breakfast. Where is she?’

‘You can go and get her now,’ said Aunt Fanny. ‘We’ve all finished. Are you going to start your work, Quentin?’

‘Yes, I am,’ said her husband. ‘So I don’t want any yelling or shouting or barking outside my study door.’

He got up and went out of the room. Berta stood up too. ‘Where’s the kennel?’ she said.

‘I’ll show you,’ said Anne. ‘We’ll go and get your dog and introduce it to Timmy. Coming, George?’

‘You can bring the dog in here, and we’ll see what Timmy says,’ said George, going all gloomy again. ‘If he doesn’t like the dog – and he won’t – it will have to live out in the kennel.’

‘Oh no,’ said Berta, at once.

‘Well, you don’t want Timmy to eat it, do you?’ said George. ‘He’s very jealous of other dogs in the house. He might go for yours and savage it.’

‘Oh no!’ said Berta, again, looking upset. ‘Timmy’s nice. He’s not a fierce dog.’

‘That’s all you know!’ said George. ‘Well, I’ve warned you.’

‘Come on,’ said Anne, pulling at Berta’s sleeve. ‘Let’s go and fetch Sally. She must be wondering why nobody bothers about her. I bet Timmy won’t mind terribly.’

As soon as the two had gone out, George spoke in Timmy’s ear. ‘You don’t like strange dogs who want to come and live here, do you, Tim? You’ll growl and snarl like anything, won’t you? Growl your very fiercest! I know you won’t bite but if you could just growl your loudest, that will be enough. Berta will make that Sally-dog live out of doors then!’

Soon she heard footsteps returning, and Anne’s voice exclaiming in delight.

‘Oh, she’s sweet! Oh, what a darling! Sally, you’re a pet! Julian, Dick, Aunt Fanny – do come and see Berta’s dog!’

Everyone came into the room, led by Berta and Anne. Berta held the dog in her arms.

It was a tiny black poodle, whose woolly fur was cut away here and there to give it a very fashionable look. Sally was certainly an attractive little thing! Her sharp little nose sniffed all the time she was carried into the room, and her quick little eyes looked everywhere.

Berta put her down, and the little poodle stood there, poised on her dainty feet like a ballet dancer about to perform. Everyone but George exclaimed in delight.

‘She’s a poppet!’

‘Sally! Sally, you’re a pet!’

‘Oh, a poodle! I do love poodles! They look so knowing.’

Timmy stood by George, sniffing hard to get the smell of this new dog. George had her hand on his collar in case he sprang. His tail was as stiff as a ramrod.

The poodle suddenly saw him. She stared at him out of bright little eyes, quite unafraid. Then she pulled away from Berta’s hand and trotted right over to Timmy, her funny little tail wagging merrily.

Timmy backed a little in surprise. The poodle danced all round him on her toes, and a little whimpering bark, which said as plainly as possible, I want to play with you!

Timmy sprang. He leapt in the air and came down with a thud on his big paws, and the little poodle dodged. Timmy’s tail began to wag wildly. He sprang again in play, and almost knocked the little poodle over. He barked as if to say ‘Sorry, I didn’t mean that!’

Then he and the poodle played a most ridiculous game of dodge and run, and although one or two chairs went flying nobody minded – they were all laughing so much at the sight of the quick little poodle leading Timmy such a dance.

At last Sally was tired and sat down in a corner. Timmy pranced about in front of her, showing off. Then he went up to her and sniffed her nose. He licked it gently, and then lay down in front of her, gazing at her adoringly.