“I beg your pardon?”
“The double needs a tremendous amount of attention. The Nagual gave that attention to you but not to me. He told me that he had run out of time.”
She said something else about a certain kind of attention but I was very tired. I fell asleep so suddenly that I did not even have time to put my notes away.
4
The Genaros
I woke up around eight the next morning and found that la Gorda had sunned my clothes and made breakfast. We ate in the kitchen, in the dining area. When we had finished I asked her about Lidia, Rosa and Josefina. They seemed to have vanished from the house.
“They are helping Soledad,” she said. “She’s getting ready to leave.”
“Where is she going?”
“Somewhere away from here. She has no more reason to stay. She was waiting for you and you have already come.”
“Are the little sisters going with her?”
“No. They just don’t want to be here today. It looks as if today is not a good day for them to stick around.”
“Why isn’t it a good day?”
“The Genaros are coming to see you today and the girls don’t get along with them. If all of them are here together, they’ll get into a most dreadful fight. The last time that happened they nearly killed one another.”
“Do they fight physically?”
“You bet they do. All of them are very strong and none of them wants to take second place. The Nagual told me that that would happen, but I am powerless to stop them; and not only that but I have to take sides, so it’s a mess.”
“How do you know that the Genaros are coming today?”
“I haven’t talked to them. I just know that they will be here today, that’s all.”
“Do you know that because you see, Gorda?”
“That’s right. I see them coming. And one of them is com-ing directly to you because you’re pulling him.” I assured her that I was not pulling anyone in particular. I said that I had not revealed to anyone the purpose of my trip, but that it had to do with something I had to ask Pablito and Nestor.
She smiled coyly and said that fate had paired me with Pablito, that we were very alike, and that undoubtedly he was going to see me first. She added that everything that happened to a warrior could be interpreted as an omen; thus my encounter with Soledad was an omen of what I was going to find out on my visit. I asked her to explain her point.
“The men will give you very little this time,” she said. “It’s the women who will rip you to shreds, as Soledad did. That’s what I would say if I read the omen. You’re waiting for the Genaros, but they are men like you. And look at this other omen; they are a little bit behind. I would say a couple of days behind. That’s your fate as well as theirs, as men, to be always a couple of days behind.”
“Behind what, Gorda?”
“Behind everything. Behind us women, for instance.”
She laughed and patted my head.
“No matter how stubborn you are,” she went on, “you have to admit that I’m right. Wait and see.”
“Did the Nagual tell you that men are behind women?” I asked.
“Sure he did,” she replied. “All you have to do is look around.”
“I do, Gorda. But I don’t see any such thing. Women are always behind. They are dependent on men.”
She laughed. Her laughter was not scornful or bitter; it was rather a clear sound of joyfulness.
“You know the world of people better than I do,” she said forcefully. “But right now I’m formless and you’re not. I’m telling you, women are better sorcerers because there is a crack in front of our eyes and there is none in front of yours.”
She did not seem angry, but I felt obliged to explain that I asked questions and made comments not because I was attack-ing or defending any given point, but because I wanted her to talk.
She said that she had done nothing else but talk since the moment we met, and that the Nagual had trained her to talk because her task was the same as mine, to be in the world of people.
“Everything we say,” she went on, “is a reflection of the world of people. You will find out before your visit is over that you talk and act the way you do because you’re clinging to the human form, just as the Genaros and the little sisters are clinging to the human form when they fight to kill one another.”
“But aren’t all of you supposed to cooperate with Pablito, Nestor and Benigno?”
“Genaro and the Nagual told every one of us that we should live in harmony and help and protect one another, because we are alone in the world. Pablito was left in charge of us four, but he’s a coward. If it were left up to him, he would let us die like dogs. When the Nagual was around, though, Pablito was very nice to us and took very good care of us. Everyone used to tease him and joke that he took care of us as if we were his wives. The Nagual and Genaro told him, not too long before they left, that he had a real chance to become the Nagual someday, because we might become his four winds, his four corners. Pablito understood it to be his task and from that day on he changed. He became insufferable. He began to order us around as if we were really his wives.
“I asked the Nagual about Pablito’s chances and he told me that I should know that everything in a warrior’s world depends on personal power and personal power depends on impeccability. If Pablito were impeccable he would have a chance. I laughed when he told me that. I know Pablito very well. But the Nagual explained to me that I shouldn’t take it so lightly. He said. that warriors always have a chance, no matter how slim. He made me see that I was a warrior myself and that I shouldn’t hinder Pablito with my thoughts. He said that I should turn them off and let Pablito be; that the impeccable thing for me to do was to help Pablito in spite of what I knew about him.
“I understood what the Nagual said. Besides, I have my own debt with Pablito, and I welcomed the opportunity to help him. But I also knew that no matter how I helped him he was going to fail. I knew all along that he didn’t have what it takes to be like the Nagual. Pablito is very childish and he won’t accept his defeat. He’s miserable because he’s not impeccable, and yet he’s still trying in his thoughts to be like the Nagual.”
“How did he fail?”
“As soon as the Nagual left, Pablito had a deadly run-in with Lidia. Years ago the Nagual had given him the task of being Lidia’s husband, just for appearances. The people around here thought that she was his wife. Lidia didn’t like that one bit. She’s very tough. The truth of the matter is that Pablito has always been scared to death of her. They could never get along together and they tolerated each other only because the Nagual was around; but when he left, Pablito got crazier than he already was and became convinced that he had enough personal power to take us as his wives. The three Genaros got together and discussed what Pablito should do and decided that he should take the toughest woman first, Lidia. They waited until she was alone and then all three of them came into the house and grabbed her by the arms and threw her on the bed. Pablito got on top of her. She thought at first that the Genaros were joking. But when she realized that they were serious, she hit Pablito with her head in the middle of his forehead and nearly killed him. The Genaros fled and Nestor had to tend to Pablito’s wound for months.”
“Is there something that I can do to help them understand?”
“No. Unfortunately, understanding is not their problem. All six of them understand very well. The real trouble is something else, something very ugly that no one can help them with. They indulge in not trying to change. Since they know they won’t succeed in changing no matter how much they try, or want to, or need to, they have given up trying altogether. That’s as wrong as feeling disappointed with our failures. The Nagual told each of them that warriors, both men and women, must be impeccable in their effort to change, in order to scare the human form and shake it away. After years of impeccability a moment will come, the Nagual said, when the form cannot stand it any longer and it leaves, just as it left me. In doing so, of course, it injures the body and can even make it die, but an impeccable warrior survives, always.”