In her entire life Alexandria had never owned enough clothes to fill a closet of this size, yet it was jammed with dresses, coats, skirts, slacks, and blouses. She bit her lower lip and touched a long black evening gown. It was by a top designer. She dropped her hand to her side. “Why did he do this?” she whispered aloud to Joshua, repeating in her head, Why did you do this?
It is only money, cara. I have nothing else to use to pay for my sins. He sounded alone and lost, ragged.
She unexpectedly felt tears in her eyes. Everything in her wanted to run to him, comfort him, but his words from that morning continued to echo in her head, and she closed her mind firmly to his tricks. Become his slave. It would never happen.
“Ah, sis, don’t cry like a baby,” Joshua admonished. “Aidan did it ‘cuz he wanted to. You should see all the neat toys he bought me. You know, I asked Marie and Stefan about the puppy—how much work they thought it would be.”
“Persistent little devil, aren’t you?” She closed the closet doors firmly on the new clothes, determined never to wear them.
“Aidan says persistence pays,” Joshua quoted happily.
Alexandria took a deep breath. “He should know.” On second thought, she was going to wear those dresses. Every last one of them. Wear them when she worked with Thomas Ivan. When she went out with Thomas Ivan. When she fell completely and madly in love with Thomas Ivan.
For a moment she felt Aidan stirring in her mind, the kind of move a large jungle cat might make while stalking its prey—a mere ripple, and then it was gone, as if it had never been. Had she imagined it?
“Quit thinking about him!” she snapped at herself, angry that her mind would not stay away from him.
Joshua looked up at her, wide-eyed. “About who? The puppy? Why? Did you already find one? Is it a boy dog?”
“There’s definitely a boy hound dog somewhere around here,” she replied grimly. Then, relenting, she ruffled Joshua’s curls. “I’m kidding, Josh. And, no, I haven’t found a puppy yet. I haven’t even made up my mind yet. I want us to be sure we’re happy here before we make such a permanent decision.”
“I’m happy here,” Joshua said instantly, decisively.
She hugged him. “I’m glad you’re happy, little buddy, but I’m not certain I am. It’s much more difficult for adults to adjust to living together than it is for kids.”
“But Marie and Stefan are so great, Alex, and Aidan is the best. He helps me with my homework. We talk all the time. He’s cool. And he said—”
“I don’t want to hear what he said just now, okay? I have work to do, honey, remember? We have to have money to eat.”
“But Aidan has lots of money, and he said you wouldn’t have to work if you didn’t want to.”
She let her breath out slowly, holding on to her temper. She was sick of hearing what Aidan had to say. She was sick of his being in her mind, taking over her every waking moment. “I like to work, Josh. Now find something to do quietly or scoot.”
He made a face but settled down quickly with her old set of colored pens and a sketch pad. They settled into the familiar routine easily. Occasionally she asked his opinion on an idea, and sometimes he showed her his drawings. Alexandria felt they were very good for a six-year-old. She corrected a line here and there when he asked her to, but mostly she encouraged him to do it his way. For a short time, she felt as if she and her world were normal again.
But Aidan was always present. She could feel her mind tuning to his, reaching out to find him. Her ears listened for the sound of his beautiful voice. She found herself staring blankly at the paper before her, and twice she actually drew his likeness. Both times she tore it up quickly before Joshua could spot her obsession and tease her about it.