“I have said I am not a vampire, and I am not. If the males of our species grow weary of the darkness that descend upon them after their youth and choose to lose or defile their souls, they become the undead. They are then wholly evil, killing their prey for the momentary rush of pleasure and power it brings, rather than feeding from them and leaving them unharmed. I lived as one, mimicking the ways of the undead, but I never killed for blood nor took the blood of a necessary kill. It would be impossible for you to become vampire from my blood. You of all people are wholly in the light.”
Jaxon rubbed her aching temples. There was something wrong in the things he was saying. “Why can’t I stand the thought of food, Lucian?”
“You are able to tolerate water and some natural vegetable and fruit juices. You must begin with vegetable broth and build your tolerance slowly. Do not try to eat meat products; they will not agree with you.”
“Is that what you live on? Juices and broth?”
“Do not ask what you cannot yet face, my love,” he said softly, his black gaze resting on the pulse beating so frantically in her throat.
She knew then. She didn’t faint, although her entire body went weak, her legs rubbery. She would not faint. “Lucian, please move away from the door.”
His mesmerizing gaze moved over her face like a caress. “Do you think to run away from me?” His voice was so soft and sensuous, it was all she could do not to run to him for comfort.
“That’s exactly what I think. You told me I’m not a prisoner, and I’ve decided I want to leave.” She tried not to sound defiant. She noticed his large frame still filled the doorway, and his body was as still as a mountain, his face expressionless. If only he didn’t have that voice.
“Where would you go, Jaxon?”
She tilted her chin. “Where I go is none of your business.” There was a long silence while he waited, unmoving, those black eyes watching her. Jaxon counted her own heartbeats. Sighing softly, she capitulated. “Barry’s apartment. He won’t be there, remember? The captain was moving him to a safe house.”
“I think not. It would not be safe.”
There was a double meaning behind those softly spoken words. Jaxon shivered, chilled despite the heat of the fire dancing behind her. “You said I could leave.”
“I did not say run away. There will be truth between us, little one, whether it is difficult or not. You are a strong woman. I will not hide things from you.”
“Am I supposed to thank you for that?” She raked a trembling hand through her hair, creating a windblown effect. “I don’t want this.”
“Yes, you do,” Lucian replied as gently as ever.
Where his eyes had been black and impossible to fathom, she now glimpsed hunger, a stark possessiveness. Her hand moved to find the comforting butt of her gun. How could she ever resist those hungry eyes? “Why are you doing this? I have enough trouble in my life without your expecting me to accept vampires and God knows what else. I can’t do it, Lucian.”
“Yes, you can.” He said it quietly. “Take a deep breath and relax. Sit down before you fall down.”
Her dark eyes flashed at him. “Do you really think I’m so needy that I’d sell what little self-respect I have left just to be with someone? I feel the difference in my body. The way I can hear, the way I’m able to control the volume. I can see in the dark better than if it was daylight. I feel you all the time. With me. Needing me. Calling to me.” She rubbed her temples again. “How can you talk to me without speaking? More importantly, how can I talk to you that way?”
“My blood flows in your veins, as yours flows in mine. We share the same heart and soul. Our minds seek to merge, just as our bodies cry out for each other.”
“My body does not cry out for yours,” she denied, more frightened than angry.