“I had to go off birth control some months ago. We were taking precautions and we were always careful.” In the last few months before his death, John had begun to complain about using condoms. The pill made Corinne sick, and so did the shot. He hated everything else because it was “invasive.” “It was just the one time. I knew better, but I wasn’t thinking much about it at the time.” John had gotten impatient with her inadequacies. Corinne hadn’t blamed him. He had wanted her to feel for him the same things he felt for her. How could she explain how guilty she felt for not being sexually attracted to John in the way he needed her to be? She loved John – she knew she loved him. She loved him dearly, but she had never wanted the physical side of their relationship as he had. That morning she had tried hard for John.
“It was totally irresponsible of both of you,” Lisa snapped. “I told John he should have an operation, but he didn’t want to because…” She trailed off.
“Because he thought he might have children one day with someone else after I died,” Corinne finished for her. “I wanted him to be happy.”
Lisa’s fingers tightened around Corinne’s desperately. “What can we do? Can they take it early?”
“Take a deep breath, Lisa,” Corinne advised gently. This baby isn’t an it. We’re talking about a child. A part of John.”
“I don’t care who it’s a part of. That baby is going to kill you.”
“John and I have a daughter, Lisa. She’s a living, breathing child, kicking and moving, a little girl.” Very gently Corinne attempted to guide Lisa’s hand over the small mound of her stomach.
Lisa snatched her hand back and shoved open the car door. She scooted out and slammed it very hard, a measure of her mood. Corinne sighed and slid from the vehicle, following her up to the house. As Lisa grabbed for the doorknob, Corinne stopped her with a gentle hand on her shoulder. “I know you’re upset, Lisa. I should have told you right away, when the doctor confirmed it, but I wasn’t certain I could carry the baby. After the horror of John’s death, I didn’t want you to suffer along with me. It was all such a nightmare, a terrible nightmare. What would be the point of making you worry even more? John was dead, I was already pregnant, and we both know the chances of my carrying successfully were slim. I didn’t want to worry you.”
Lisa spun around, her blue eyes reflecting a mixture of grief, fear and anger. “You didn’t want me to tell you what you knew all along. You can’t have this baby because you’ll die if you do. You’ll die, Corinne. That’s the bottom line; it’s always been the bottom line. I thought you had accepted the fact that you’d never have a baby. You’re everything to me. My family, the only family I’ve got. We fought for the life we had, the three of us, but then when we finally made it, someone killed John and now you’re planning on dying and leaving me all alone!”
Corinne wrapped her arms around Lisa and held her close until the stiffness melted away and Lisa was clinging to her. “I’m not planning to die, Lisa, and if I did, you wouldn’t be alone, you’d have a part of John and a part of me with you.”
“I don’t want a part of you, Corinne, I want you. I can’t do this – I won’t lose you too. I’m not like you. I’m not strong and brave and I don’t want to be,” Lisa said adamantly, then breathed a soft expletive under her breath as headlights caught them for a moment and the engine of a car died. “I can’t possibly act normal now. I want everyone to go away so I can cry a river.”
The moment Dayan stepped from the car and inhaled the night, he knew something was wrong. He was well aware of the dissension between the two women; he could easily read their thoughts. He wanted to comfort Corinne, knew she was fighting tears, but they were both in danger. Even as he read their minds for information, he scanned the area, his mind seeking the hidden threat. His heart in his throat, he glided toward the two women, putting on a burst of preternatural speed as they turned away from him to reach for the front door. His hand was there first, effectively blocking Lisa from entering. Even as Dayan jerked the door shut, Corinne gasped and pulled Lisa away from the house, across the lawn, back toward the car.