As Chara stood and watched the man and his family heading off towards the stream she saw him turn and look at her. He smiled and waved. Kaelin waved back. It seemed incomprehensible to Chara that the man did not recognize her, but she knew he did not.
She felt her heart would break. This man and others had all but ruined her life. Yet here he was, by a meadow spring on a sunny day, leading his own family out on a stroll.
A part of her longed to tell Kaelin of the man’s deeds. A part of her wanted to see her husband march across the meadow and cut the man’s heart out. Yet it was only a small part. The children with him were not guilty of any evil. Nor was the woman who walked by his side. Would it ease her own pain to see this woman widowed? She had turned away. ‘What is wrong?’ asked Kaelin.
‘I have a headache,’ said Chara, taking his hand once more. ‘It is no matter. Why don’t we go back into town and find a place to sit quietly and eat?’
In the faint light of pre-dawn Chara saw Senlic Carpenter move out to the far gate and lift the latch. His limp was more pronounced in the cold of the early mornings. He seemed to have aged badly since the stroke hit him in the autumn of last year. His hair was very white now, and he spoke with a slight slur. When he smiled, which was rare these days, the left side of his face did not move, and his left arm was near useless. She watched him clumsily open the gate. His dog, Patch, a black and white mongrel, ran out into the meadow.
‘You are awake early,’ said Kaelin, sitting up and yawning.
‘Senlic shouldn’t be working so hard,’ she said. ‘You should let him rest more.’
‘I have tried,’ he said. ‘He needs to feel useful.’
Other men were moving into sight now, and she saw a team of horses being led off to the rear of the barn. ‘I wish you weren’t going with Maev,’ she said.
He climbed out of the bed and moved to stand behind her. She felt his arms slide around her. ‘Will you miss me?’
‘That’s a stupid question. Of course I’ll miss you. As will Jaim and Feargol.’
‘I’ll be back within twenty days. Now why not come back to bed and give me something to remember you by?’
‘You’ll remember,’ she said, spinning out of his grasp. ‘And you have men standing out there in the cold waiting for you. So get yourself dressed. I’ll go and prepare you some breakfast.’ She left the room and walked downstairs. Maev was already there.
‘Is there anything you want me to bring back from Eldacre?’ asked the older woman.
‘Just my husband,’ answered Chara, coldly.
Senlic Carpenter was weary as he limped towards the main house, and his spirits were low. As a Rigante he had prided himself on his lack of fear, on his courage. But he was frightened now. Not of dying, for all men had, at some time, to pass from this life. No, Senlic’s fear was of becoming sickly and a burden upon those he had served. He didn’t want to end his life lying in a bed, incontinent and rambling. The stroke had almost killed him. On some mornings he wished that it had. He would at least have died as a man.
He paused at the gate. Patch sat down beside him. ‘I wonder when I got old?’ he said aloud, the words slurring. It seemed to have crept up on him almost unnoticed. Yes, his hair had greyed, and he found himself a little slower. He had noticed aches in his limbs during the coldest of the weather. Now, though, he felt so … so ancient.
He had bidden farewell to Kaelin and Maev, and most of the farm workers. Once he would have regretted not joining them on the journey to Eldacre. Senlic liked visiting cities occasionally, to marvel at the great buildings and to enjoy afternoons in taverns and evenings in whorehouses, where they played music. He didn’t regret it now. A visit to a whorehouse would only fill him with shame. Patch caught sight of a rabbit out in the meadow and gave a low growl. ‘You’ll not catch him, boy,’ said Senlic. Patch cocked his head and stared up at the man. ‘You want to try though, eh? Go on then. Go get him!’ Patch bounded off across the snow. The rabbit sat and watched him, then sprang away. Patch tried to turn and slithered on the snow. The sight lifted Senlic’s mood. Yapping furiously Patch gave chase once more.