Angela admitted she hadn’t thought of that, but David wasn’t listening. He was staring into the fire.
“You seem distracted,” she said. “What’s wrong?”
“Another one of my patients is in the ICU fighting for her life.”
“I’m sorry,” Angela said.
“It’s another disaster,” David said. His voice faltered as he struggled with his emotions. “I’m trying to deal with it, but it’s hard. She’s doing very poorly. Frankly, I’m worried she’ll die just like Kleber and Tarlow. Maybe I don’t know what I’m doing. Maybe I shouldn’t even be a doctor.”
Angela came around the table to put an arm around David. “You are a wonderful doctor,” she whispered. “You have a real gift. Patients love you.”
“They don’t love me when they die,” David said. “When I sit in my office in the same spot where Dr. Portland killed himself, I start thinking that now I know why he did it.”
Angela shook David’s shoulders. “I don’t want to hear any talk like that,” she said. “Have you been speaking with Kevin Yansen again?”
“Not about Portland,” David said. “He seems to have lost interest in the subject.”
“Are you depressed?”
“Some,” David admitted. “But it’s not out of hand.”
“Promise me you’ll tell me if it gets out of hand?” Angela said.
“I promise,” David said.
“What’s this new patient’s problem?” Angela asked. She sat down in the seat next to his.
“That’s part of what’s so upsetting,” David said. “I don’t really know. She came in with sinusitis which was improving with antibiotics. But then she began to develop pneumonia for some unknown reason. Actually, first she became drowsy. Then she became apathetic, and finally she had a seizure. I’ve had neurology, oncology, and infectious disease look at her. No one has any bright ideas.”
“Then you shouldn’t be so hard on yourself,” Angela said.
“Except I’m responsible,” David said. “I’m her doctor.”
“I wish I could help,” Angela said.
“Thank you,” David said. He reached out and gave Angela’s shoulder a squeeze. “I appreciate your concern because I know you mean it. Unfortunately, there’s nothing you can do directly except understand why I can’t get so worked up about Hodges’ death.”
“I can’t just let it go,” Angela said.
“But it could be dangerous,” David said. “You don’t know who you’re up against. Whoever killed Hodges isn’t likely to be thrilled by your poking around. Who knows what such a person might do? Look what he did to Hodges.”
Angela looked into the fire, mesmerized for the moment by the white-hot coals that shimmered ominously in the intense heat. Potential danger to her family was her motivation for wanting Hodges’ murder solved. She hadn’t considered that her investigation itself could put them in greater jeopardy. Yet all she had to do was close her eyes and see the luminol glow in her kitchen or remember the horrid fractures on the X rays in the autopsy room to know that David had a point: a person capable of that kind of violence was not someone who should be provoked.
16
SATURDAY, OCTOBER 23
Worried about Mary Ann, David was up before the sun. He stole out of the house without waking Angela and Nikki and got on his bike. Just as the sun was inching above the eastern horizon, he crossed the Roaring River. It was as cold as it had been the previous morning. Another heavy frost blanketed the fields and covered the naked branches of the leafless trees with a vitreous sheen.
David’s early-morning arrival surprised the ICU nurses. Mary Ann’s condition had not changed dramatically although she had developed moderately severe diarrhea. David was amazed and grateful for how the nurses took such a development in stride. It was a tribute to their compassion and dedication.
Reviewing Mary Ann’s case again from the beginning, David did not have any new ideas. He even called one of his past professors in Boston whom he knew to be a chronic early riser. After hearing about the case, the professor volunteered to come immediately. David was overwhelmed by the man’s commitment and generosity.
While he waited for his professor to arrive, David made the rounds to see his other hospitalized patients. Everyone was doing fine. He thought about sending Jonathan Eakins home but decided to keep him another day just to be sure his cardiac status was truly stable.