There was nothing like that in the anteroom. It wasn’t very big, either, and the faint odors that arose from Obie were very distracting to the females. It was a lucky break that Tanya found one channel with a sports event. The ship’s wrestling championships were under way. Somewhere in the Hakh’hli recreation space two huge Hakh’hli were competing in the quarter-finals. The cohort immediately chose up sides and rooted for their favorites. Even an Earthman might have been able to follow the action, if any Earthman but Sandy Washington had been there to see it, because the sport was actually an Earth innovation. It was copied from Japanese sumo wrestling and consisted of two Goliaths falling on each other.
And it was certainly exciting. Obie told Sandy enthusiastically, “If your Earthies never gave us anything else, that would be good enough.” But Polly disagreed; and Tanya disagreed with Polly; and while the bout was going on on the screen, naturally another fight broke out among the cohort.
When at last the Major Seniors had reached the point in their deliberations when they were willing to grant audience to Sandy’s cohort, the fight had long since been quelled. Obie was still bleeding slightly from a cut below his eye, but Demmy had torn a strip off his undershorts for a bandage—wearing human-type clothing had its uses, after all—and the whole cohort looked presentable enough as they lined up before the six huge Major Seniors. The Major Seniors were being genial, anyway, so they probably wouldn’t have said anything even if they had noticed. “And how are our Earthlingth today?” the Fourth Major Senior asked—in Hakh’hli, of course. Sandy noticed that she had managed to weep a benign tear of welcome.
The Major Senior had spoken to the group at large, but everyone knew the question was directed mostly at Sandy. “We eat and excrete very well, ancient female,” he said respectfully, in the same language. And then he added, using the English words when there was no Hakh’hli equivalent, “We are studying automobile driving, credit cards and late twentieth-century popular music, and yesterday we played basketball twice.” He enjoyed speaking Hakh’hli when he had just been told it wasn’t to be allowed anymore. It nettled him that his peers spoke better English than he did Hakh’hli. They had all had their vocal systems fiddled a little—surgically as infants or genetically before they were even born. They could make all the sounds of English easily enough, while when Sandy talked Hakh’hli too long his throat got sore from the clicks and glottal stops.
“Satisfactory, satisfactory,” the Major Senior muttered affably. “This First Major Senior will inform you now and not later.”
The First Major Senior always did, but all the same there was a little whiffling snort of resignation from the nostrils of almost everyone in the cohort. When the First Major Senior “informed” anyone, he started way back and left nothing out. Addressing Sandy directly, he did so again.
“Earth person Lythander Washington,” he said, his eyes gazing vacantly toward the gray ceiling of the audience room, “your female parent and your male parent were abandoned in spacecraft when your Earth persons engaged in one war. In course of this war much damage was done by both particle and photonic beams, and by kinetic impact of either solid objects or of chemically or atomically explosive blasts. Your parents could not return to their home. Although we rescued them they were in damaged state and not well. We were unable to keep them alive, but you were already one quickened ovum, near to term, and we were successful in preserving you alive. We supplied you with living necessities and companionship while we—”
“Ancient male,” Sandy said experimentally, “I have already received this information.” He didn’t think it would make the First Major Senior stop, or even blink, and it didn’t. All that happened was that Polly sidled away from Obie’s side long enough to give Lysander a quick, savage pinch from behind. The Fourth Major Senior looked up with thoughtful interest as Polly returned to crouch near the almost-tumescent Obie.
“—investigated certain nearby stars, including Alpha Centauri,” the deep voice rolled on. “That star was of no use or interest. We have now returned to system of your own planet. You are now adult and educated. Confirm that this information is verified and not in error.”
“It is verified, ancient male,” Sandy said, rubbing his bottom. Polly’s two-thumbed hand gave nasty pinches. He was aware that all the females were beginning to move toward Obie.
“We have been observing your planet since first approaching this system. There are certain facts of interest. First, those electromagnetic signals which originally attracted us to this system, and which increased exponentially in energy and in number all through our first approach, are now quite sparse. We do not have good, complete, recent information either by radio or by television. This may be because your Earth people have become either numerically few or technologically backward, due to that war. Alternatively, it may be for some other reason.”
The First Major Senior paused for a moment, interlacing his six-fingered hands across his belly meditatively. No one spoke. The Fourth Major Senior absentmindedly left her elevated seat and waddled in the direction of the cohort, her eyes on Obie.
“One second new fact of interest,” the First Major Senior said then, “is that there are no indications of powered vehicles anywhere in this solar system. From this we conclude that that inability of your Earth persons to enter into space since they blockaded themselves still continues and has not been overcome.”
There was a nasal sigh from all the cohort at that. “Oh, pellets!” Demmy whispered, and Bottom kicked him. None of the Major Seniors showed any sign of hearing. Apart from the First, the others were gazing interestedly at the Fourth, who was sniffing Obie’s spine. Her hip pouches were visibly swelling.
“We will, however,” the First Major Senior said, “be able to make landing with one of scout craft by using one polar entry window. Most of debris remains in the plane of that Earth equator. Significant quantities are orbiting in other trajectories, but our analysts have identified one number of time periods during which approach can be made. Fuel costs will be very high, since no use can be made of rotational speed of planet and power must be applied all through descent phase; and similar costs will be encountered on return flight. However, that landing is feasible.”
Daringly, Polly moved between Obie and the Fourth Major Senior. The Major Senior half raised herself on her hind legs, glaring at Polly, who sidled resentfully away.
The Fourth Major Senior addressed the group of her peers. “Excuse us and do not be offended,” she said decorously, and led Obie away with a grip on the back of his neck.
“Yes, of course,” the First Major Senior said to her back. “Well, I think that is all that need be said in any event. You Lythander, you remember that, though you are Earth human, you are also Hakh’hli. We Hakh’hli gave you life. We Hakh’hli wish only to help your Earth humans to correct errors of their own folly. But we must go with caution, and so we require you to carry out your mission fully and exactly and not without success. Will you, Lythander, do this?”
“I will,” said Sandy, hoping the interview was over.
No such luck. The Second Major Senior stirred herself. “You must be clever and true and not disloyal, Lythander,” she said severely. “Your Earth people are vain, idle, careless, and deceitful. They are spoilers. They have spoiled their planet. You must be like us and not like them in your actions on this Earth.”
“All right,” Sandy growled, shifting from one foot to another.
The First Major Senior shed a consoling tear. “What these people do on their planet is their guilt and not yours, Lythander,” he said generously. “You need not swallow your own spit over this matter. Now you may all go.”
There were no rough-and-tumble games in the waiting room this time. There was only waiting—waiting for Obie to finish his amphylaxis with the Fourth Major Senior and return from their lek. And the waiting was not at all pleasant, because all three females of the cohort were simmering.
By the time Obie came back, looking chipper and pleased with himself, they had reached the boiling point. “Oberon, you’re a hoo-hik turd!” Polly thundered, and Helen and Tanya chimed in. “How could you?” Helen whined, and Tanya complained, “And with an old Major Senior!”
Obie was unrepentant. “You all saw what was going on, didn’t you? Why didn’t one of you squeeze in?”
“Against a Major Senior?”
Obie twitched a shrug. “There’ll be more chances,” he said generously. “And, wow, she was big. I never did it with a Major Senior before! It was all I could do to hold on.”