I WILL FEAR NO EVIL by Robert A. Heinlein

“That’s odd, I didn’t send any. Caught you, didn’t I? Jake, I never intend to overwork a man—but, damn it, when he’s on my payroll, I expect to hear from him occasionally. And see him.”

“I’m not on your payroll.”

“Huh? What nonsense is this?”

“When the Court appointed me your guardian pro tern and conservator, McCampbell awarded me a token fee of ten dollars a month. That’s all I am allowed to accept from you—and I haven’t collected it.”

Johann looked incredulous. “Well, we’ll change that in a hurry! You get word to Judge McCampbell that I said—”

“Stow it, Johann. It was part of the deal to shut up your granddaughters. Now what is eating you? Mrs. Branca? You’ve had a report each day—negative. I fetched a briefcase stuffed with detailed reports—alt negative but showing what has been done. Want to read ‘em? I see you have a reading machine now.”

“Read negative reports? Jake, don’t be silly. Yes, I’m fretted about Eunice—damn it, even if she didn’t want to work for me any longer, you’d think she would have paid me the minimum courtesy of a sickroom visit. But that’s not what is on my mind—not why I sent for you, I mean. Nurse!”

“Yes, sir?”

“Switch off the voice-monitors; then go hide your head in the idiot box. Pick any program as long as it’s loud; I want privacy.”

“Yes, sir.” She stood up and switched off the dummy switches.

“Nurse.”

“Yes, Mr. Salomon?”

“Ask Dr. Hedrick if we can have full privacy. I don’t think Mr. Smith is going to swing from the chandelier simply because I don’t have a nursing degree.”

“Mr. Salomon, Dr. Hedrick says that we are doing so well”—she smiled brightly—”aren’t we, Mr. Smith?—that if you wanted to talk privately, I could leave. Just push this red button when you want me.” She smiled again and left.

Johann said, “Well, that’s a surprise!”

“Why so? You’re getting well, Hedrick says so.”

“Hmm. ‘I fear the Greeks, even bearing gifts.’ Jake, come close, I want to whisper…because I wouldn’t put it past ‘em to have a spare microphone tucked away somewhere.”

“Paranoia, you old fool. Why would Hedrick bother to listen to our conversation?”

“‘Young fool,’ please—I’m young again. Paranoid, possibly. Anyhow I don’t want anybody to hear this but you. Because if I’m mistaken, it won’t sound good to have this repeated in court in a competency hearing. So lean close and listen hard. Jake. . I’m almost certain this new body of mine is female!”

Jake Salomon’s ears started to buzz and he was glad that Garcia had given him that shot. “So? Interesting idea. ‘If true, what are you going to do? Take it back to complaint desk and demand another one?”

“Oh, don’t talk like a fool, Jake. Whatever body I have now, I’m stuck with—and if it’s female, well, it’ll seem odd but half the human race manages to bear up under it; I, guess I can. But don’t you see? If my notion is correct, that’s why they’ve taken such great care not to let me see myself. Afraid I would jump my cams, no doubt.” Johann chuckled. “I’m tougher than that. Shucks, they haven’t even let you see anything you could spot as female—sheet over my whole body, not even my arms in sight, and enough gear hooked to me to clutter up any lines of figure. Towel over my scalp—I suppose the hair is growing back,’ or such. If I’m horsefaced enough, you couldn’t tell my sex just from my face. My new face.”

“Perhaps. It’s an interesting theory. How did you reach. it?”

“Oh, a number of things. Especially the fact that, even though I now can use my hands and arms, they won’t le me. Except during controlled physiotherapy. Can’t touch myself, I mean; they strap me down again at once, with an excuse about ‘spastic muscle action’ and so forth. Which I did have at first and don’t have now. But never mind. This is the first time there hasn’t been a nurse in the room. So find out. Lift the sheet and look! Tell me, Jake, am I male or female? Hurry—she might come back.”