Knight of shadows. Chapter 7, 8
VII
Some of the arms seemed to be waving good-bye to us as we commenced our climb after reaching the wall. Jurt thumbed his nose at them.
“Can you blame me for wanting to escape this place?” he asked.
“Not in the least,” I replied.
“If that transfusion you gave me really placed me beyond control of the Logrus, then I might dwell here for some indefinite period of time.”
“Sounds possible.”
“That’s why you must realize I threw the ice at Borel, not you. Besides the fact that you’re smarter than he was and might be able to find a way out of here, he was a creature of the Logrus, too, and wouldn’t have had enough fire if the need arose.”
“That had occurred to me also,” I said, withholding a possible out I’d guessed at, to keep myself indispensable. “But what are you getting at?”
“I’m trying to say that I’ll give you any kind of help you need, just so you don’t leave me behind when you go. I know we never got along before, but I’m willing to put that aside if you are.”
“I always was,” I said. “You were the one who started all our fights and kept me in trouble.”
He smiled.
“I never did, and I won’t do it again,” he said. “Yeah, okay, you’re right. I didn’t like you, and maybe I still don’t. But I won t mess you up when we need each other this way.”
“The way I see it, you need me a hell of a lot more than I need you.”
“I can’t argue with that, and I can’t make you trust me,” he said.
“Wish I could.” We climbed a little more before he continued, and I fancied the air had already grown a trifle warmer. Then, “But look at it this way,” he finally continued, “I resemble your brother Jurt, and I come close to representing something he once was-close, but not a perfect fit. I began diverging from his model beginning with our race. My circumstances are uniquely my own, and I’ve been thinking steadily since I gained my autonomy. The real Jurt knows things I do not and has powers I don’t possess. But I have his memories up through his taking the Logrus, and I’m the second greatest authority there is on the way he thinks. Now, if he’s become such a threat as you’ve indicated, you might find me more than a little useful when it comes to second-guessing him.”
“You have a point,” I acknowledged. “Unless, of course, the two of you were to throw in together.”
He shook his head.
“He wouldn’t trust me,” he said, “and I wouldn’t trust him. We’d both know better. A matter of introspection. See what I mean?”
“It means neither one of you is trustworthy.” His brow furrowed; then he nodded.
“Yeah, I guess so,” he said.
“So why should I trust you?”
“Right now because you’ve got me by the balls. Later on because I’ll be so damn useful.”
After several more minutes ascending, I told him; “The thing that bothers me the most about you is that its was not all that long ago that Jurt took the Logrus. You are not an older, milder version of my least favorite relative. You are a very recent model. As for your divergence from the original, I can’t see this short while as making that much difference.”
He shrugged.
“What can I say that I haven’t said already?” he asked. “Let’s just deal in terms of power and self interest then.”
I smiled. We both knew that that was the way it was anyway. The conversation helped pass the time, though. A thought came to me as we climbed.
“Do you think you could walk through Shadow?” I asked him.
“I don’t know,” he answered after a time. “My last memory from before I came to this place was of completing the Logrus. I guess the recording was completed at that time, too. So I have no recollection of Suhuy instructing me in shadow-walking, no memory of trying it. I’d guess I could do it, wouldn’t you think?”