I looked at that editorial-page cartoon in the Phoenix again and really noticed this time that there were Sirians, Venus-ians, Martians, Lyrans, and other non-human beings jammed into the jetbus, and that they were made to look sinister. On my first glance, I’d taken them in casually, the way you would on Earth or Mars or Vega’s Quembrill, but here they were, supposed to scare me stiff and I was supposed to go around saying, “Now, don’t get me wrong, some of my best friends are Martians, but—”
Back to the pamphlet The trading company suddenly dropped out of the chronology. By reading between the lines I could figure out that it was one of the outfits which had overextended itself planting colonies so it could have a monopoly hauling to and from the new centers. A lot of them had gone smash when the Greenhough Effect took interstellar flight out of the exclusive hands of the supergiant corporations and put it in the reach of medium-sized operators like the rusty-bucket line that had hauled in me, the yaks, and the ten-penny nails.
In a constitutional convention two generations back the colonists had set up a world government of the standard type, with a president, a, unicameral house, and a three-step hierarchy of courts. They’d adopted the United Planets model code of laws except for the bill of rights—to keep the slimy extra-terrestrials out—with no thanks to the UP.
And that was it, except for the paean of praise to the independent farmer, the backbone of his planet, beholden to no man, etc.
I pawed through the ethertype handbook. The introduction told me that the perfection of instantaneous transmission had opened the farthest planets to the Interstellar News Service, which I knew; that it was knitting the colonized universe together with bonds of understanding, which I doubted; and that it was a boon to all human and non-human intelligences, which I thought was a bare-faced lie. The rest of it was “see Fig. 76 3b,” “Wire 944 will slip easily through orifice 459},” “if Knob 545 still refuses to turn, take Wrench 31 and gently, without forcing—” Nothing I couldn’t handle.
The ethertype was beating out:
FARM—NOTE FROSTBITE
NOME, ALASKA, EARTH—ISN—HOUSEWIVES OF THE COLDER FARM PLANETS WOULD DO WELL TO TAKE A LEAF FROM THE BOOK OF THE PRIMITIVE AMERINDIAN SEAMSTRESS. SO SAYS PROFESSOR OF DOMESTIC SCIENCE MADGE MCGUINESS OF THE UNIVERSITY OF NOME’S SCHOOL OF LOW-TEMPERATURE AGRONOMY. THE INDIAN MAID BY SEWING LONG, NARROW STRIPS OF FUR AND BASKET-WEAVING THEM INTO A BLANKET TURNED OUT COVERINGS WITH TWICE THE WARMTH AND HALF THE WEIGHT OF FUR ROBES SIMPLY SEWED EDGE TOEDGE—
That was my darling, with her incurable weakness for quote leads and the unspeakable “so says.” Ellie Masters, I thought, you’re a lousy writer but I love you and I’d like to wring your neck for helping McGillicuddy con me into this. “Dig up all sorts of cute feature stories,” you told me and you made it sound sensible. Better I should be under the table at Blogri’s with a hangover and sawdust in my hair than writing little by-liners about seventeen tasty recipes for yak manure, which is all that’s ever going to come out of this Godforsaken planet
Rat-Face barged in without knocking; a moronic-looking boy was with him toting the box of ethertype spare parts.
“Just set-it anywhere,” I said. “Thanks for getting it right over here. Uh, Joe, isn’t it?—Joe, where could I get me a parka like that? I like those lines. Real mink?”
It was the one way to his heart. “You betcha. Only plaid mink lining on Frostbite. Ya notice the lapels? Look!” He turned them forward and showed me useless little hidden pockets with zippers that looked like gold.
“I can see you’re a man with taste.”
“Yeah. Not like some of these bums. If a man’s Collector of the Port he’s got a position to live up to. Look, I hope ya didn’t get me wrong there, at the field. Nobody told me you were coming. If you’re right with the Phoenix you’re right with the Organization. If you’re right with the Organization, you’re right with Joe Downing. I’m regular.”