‘So,’ I said, ‘another nutter. Just what we need. What’s all this “saved” stuff? What does saved mean?’
‘Born again. Fundamentalism, Slick, the most coarse and proletarian of all American creeds. Nicodemus, John 3. Unless a man is born anew, he cannot see the kingdom of God.’
‘Uh?’
The Bible, Slick. You ever read it?’
‘Yeah, I read that.’
‘Spunk’s very religious. The kid’s a saint, you know that? He works in the hospitals, he goes down to the projects in the Bronx. All the money his dad doesn’t blow on the women and the ponies, Spunk gives to charity.’
‘Like I said. Another nutter.’
‘We need him. We do need him. With him the mix is just right. He’s perfect for us. That kid is going to be very, very big. Spunk’s hot, Slick. Hey,’ he said, and laughed briefly, ‘you think he has a permit for those muscles? Now I know what’s worrying you and you can relax. He’s controllable. Doris will account for all that in the script and he’ll fall into line the second he sees hard print. They all will. Besides, he likes you. They all do. Say, it’s too bad you have to get back. Things are moving, John.’
I said, to hell with it, I could do the budgeting and storyboarding just as well in London. If Doris Arthur came through with the script ahead of schedule, he could zip it over in a Poseidon wallet within twenty-four hours. Meanwhile, Fielding promised, he would hire the loft or the studio and line up the auditioning for the bit parts — the waiters, the dancers, the gangsters.
‘We’ll have some fun with that,’ he said. ‘The future looks bright, Slick.’
We embraced, a tight clasp with cheeks touching — but dead butch, naturally. Man, did I need that living squeeze. Now the Autocrat was nosing down the kerb. He had me doublesign some contracts on the hood (the usual: once under ‘Co-signatory’, once under ‘Self’). Then he waved, and vanished behind the black glass.
I walked the line of midtown under the sun’s red stare. In the Ashbery I was informed by reception that my tab ‘was all taken care of by Mr Goodney, who had moreover reserved Room 101 until further notice. This was a concession of a kind. Fielding deeply disapproved of the Ashbery, I knew, and was always on at me to take a suite, or a floor, of the Bartleby or the Gustave on Central Park South. But the Ashbery was more my speed. And I was settled here now.
So then you pack and do all that. As I slipped Martina’s book between the folds of my best suit, Felix knocked and entered bearing a white package the size of a small coffin, flamboyantly fastened with a blood-pink bow. Selina has a bra-and-pants set of just that colour. Selina. I have big plans for Selina. Well, another present, eh?
‘Delivery,’ he said, straightening. Even in the at-ease position Felix seemed to be jogging on the spot.
‘Here, Felix. You’ve been a real pal.’
He took the note but his face stayed quizzical. ‘This is a big bill, man. You drunk?’ he asked pleasantly, and smiled.
There are few things better than the reluctant black smile: worth a hundred dollars. Worth more. The slopes of his eyelids were infinitely dark, making the stare louder and the smile more furtive. This would always give Felix a cheeky look, even when he stopped being a black kid and started being a black man. Perhaps I had the same look once, though I’ve lost it now. At school the masters kept telling me to wipe it off my face. But I never knew I had it, so how could I wipe it off?
‘Go on,’ I said. ‘It’s not my money really. Buy a present for your girlfriend. Or your mother.’
‘Now you take it easy now,’ said Felix.
The black case lay on the bed beside the white box. I tugged the ribbon and lifted the lid and heard myself give a harsh shout of anger and rejection and probably shame. I tore it to pieces with my bare hands. Then I stood in the centre of the room thinking, whoops, hold it, hold on. But there were a good few tears backed up my tracks and now was as bad a time as any. Out it all came. I’ll tell you what my present was and I think you’ll understand. There was no message inside, only a plastic lady, veal-pale, moist-looking, with open grin.