JACQUE CAROL
“If I try think soft nest “God!
about something crawly bug trapped
else” feel of him spider get it
wilting on her away!”
“CRAWLY TRAPPED
SPIDER”
He almost pushed her off the cot, squirming away from contact with the bridge. “I’m sorry, it. . . let’s just hold on to it with our hands. Then we can drop it if-“
“You felt trapped.”
“It was trapped.”
She reached back to hold him. “Jacque, you aren’t afraid of me, are you? Afraid to let me inside-“
“No. No, I like it.” Not a complete lie. “Just let’s keep the bridge . . . at arm’s length. I don’t like it touching me. I don’t like it so close.”
“All right.” She set the creature by her abdomen. “Can you reach it here?”
“Yeah.” They touched the bridge and with her free hand she guided him into her.
JACQUE CAROL
“There” pushing Quick shiver good
back him warm going in then slight
against her “Tell resistance overcome
now Maria” buttocks surprising
NO CAN’T staying cold “No I can’t”
then slow then staying then drawing
fast, holding back slowly and
tense quick thrust holding
tense “All right”
“All right.” Both of them eyes closed, faces flushed. Carol stroking him gently, “I trust you,” he said:
JACQUE CAROL
Hot wet Trust “Trust you” SITTING
“She is like me ON MY BLANKET DRY-
with hair-“ ING HAIR LEGS APART
slick cold outside SHE LOOKING AWAY
going in slow hard THEN LOOK DOWN
HARD out quick AND SEE ME HARD
in slow THEN WHAT REALLY
out HAPPEN SHE LAUGH
in AND SAY YOU GROW-
“But Jacque ING UP JACQUES AND
you not here” PAT MY KNEE AND
in, out in, “Feel RUN AWAY DOWN THE
ME Jacque,” out in SAND LAUGHING BUT
SHE ON TOP I ALWAYS
I LOVED SHE REMEMBER THERE’S
DIED NOBODY ELSE THERE
“JACQUE” AND WE PLAY TO-
GETHER AND SHE ON
TOP OF ME ON THE
BLANKET SHE SHOWS
ME HOW
“I loved her she was
my sister she died”
“She died when. . . I was twelve when she died.”
“Jacque.” She reached blindly back and touched his cheek, eyes. “My poor Jacque.”
They tried five different sexual geometries in the next hour, Carol becoming fairly exhausted after nine or ten orgasms. Jacque was even more exhausted by the strain of none.
He could start but he couldn’t finish. Not with another person’s thoughts, however attractive, intruding on his privacy; not with his own fantasies being reflected back to him distorted by Carol’s sympathies- and by her revulsion sometimes, though she tried to mask it.
Carol had no such problems: she was not a very private person to begin with, and she was less sensitive to the bridge. Being tuned in to Jacque was a delicious spice to her, like making love surrounded by mirrors, with an illustrated pornographic story unreeling in her mind.
Carol lay panting on the cot. Jacque picked up the bridge, walked stiffly over to the aquarium, and dropped the creature into its water. He retrieved his jacket from the camera and sat down next to Carol.
“We forgot towels,” he said, and began patting her dry.
She made a purring sound and stretched. “You don’t want to-“
“No. I’ve had it.”
“There’s plenty of time.” The clock said 23:14. “If we did it without the bridge you-“
“Please.”
“I was just-“
“Carol, some other time I’d love to but some other time!”
She flinched. “Don’t be mad at me.”
“I’m not mad at you.”
“Don’t be mad at yourself either. You couldn’t help-“
“Let’s not talk. Let’s just not talk.”
“All right.” She tried to dry him but he twisted away and went to get dressed. She turned her back to him and rummaged through her purse for a tissue.
20 – Coda
A more or less independent passage, at the end of a composition, introduced to bring it to a satisfactory close.
They had eight hours before they were due back at the chamber for Rhine testing. Jacque walked with Carol back to her cottage. It was a misty summer’s-end night, clouds rolling in heavy with rain, heat lightning on the horizon. They walked apart and didn’t say much.