And Honey had not even minded that. She had pleased the captain of the football team! The most popular boy in school! And I really didn’t even know what I was doing, Honey thought. If I truly learned how to please a man…
And that was when Honey had her second epiphany.
The following morning, Honey went to the Pleasure Chest, a porno bookstore on Poplar Street, and bought half a dozen books on eroticism. She smuggled them home and read them in the privacy of her room. She was astounded by what she was reading.
She raced through the pages of The Perfumed Garden and the Kama Sutra, the Tibetan Arts of Love, the Alchemy of Ecstasy, and then went back for more. She read the words of Gedun Chopel and the arcane accounts by Kanchinatha.
She studied the exciting photographs of the thirty-seven positions of lovemaking, and she learned the meaning of the Half Moon and the Circle, the Lotus Petal, and the Pieces of Cloud, and the way of churning.
Honey became an expert on the eight types of oral sex, and the paths of the sixteen pleasures, and the ecstasy of the string of marbles. She knew how to teach a man to perform karuna, to intensify his pleasure. In theory, at least.
Honey felt she was now ready to put her knowledge into practice.
The Kama Sutra had several chapters on aphrodisiacs to arouse a man, but since Honey had no idea where she could obtain Hedysarum gangeticum, the kshirika plant, or the Xanthochymus pictorius, she figured out her own substitutes.
When Honey saw Roger Merton in class the following week, she walked up to him and said, “I really enjoyed the other night. Can we do it again?”
It took him a moment to remember who Honey was. “Oh. Sure. Why not? My folks are out tonight. Why don’t you come by about eight o’clock?”
When Honey arrived at Merton’s house that night, she had a small jar of maple syrup with her.
“What’s that for?” Merton asked.
“I’m going to show you,” Honey said.
She showed him.
The next day, Merton was telling his buddies at school about Honey.
“She’s incredible,” he said. “You wouldn’t believe what she can do with a little warm syrup!”
That afternoon, half a dozen boys were asking Honey for dates. From that time on, she started going out every night. The boys were very happy, and that made Honey very happy.
Honey’s parents were delighted by their daughter’s sudden popularity.
“It took our girl a little while to bloom,” her father said proudly, “but now she’s turned into a real Taft!”
Honey had always had poor grades in mathematics, and she knew she had failed badly on her final test. Her mathematics teacher, Mr. Janson, was a bachelor and lived near the school. Honey paid him a visit one evening. He opened the door and looked at her in surprise.
“Honey! What are you doing here?”
“I need your help,” Honey said. “My father will kill me if I fail your course. I brought some math problems, and I wonder if you would mind going over them with me.”
He hesitated a moment. “This is unusual, but…very well.”
Mr. Janson liked Honey. She was not like the other girls in his class. They were raucous and indifferent, while Honey was sensitive and caring, always eager to please. He wished that she had more of an aptitude for mathematics.
Mr. Janson sat next to Honey on the couch and began to explain the arcane intricacies of logarithms.
Honey was not interested in logarithms. As Mr. Janson talked, Honey moved closer and closer to him. She started breathing on his neck and into his ear, and before he knew what was happening, Mr. Janson found that his pants were unzipped.
He was looking at Honey in astonishment. “What are you doing?”
“I’ve wanted you since the first time I saw you,” Honey said. She opened her purse and took out a small can of whipped cream.
“What’s that?”
“Let me show you…”
Honey received an A in math.
It was not only the accessories Honey used that made her so popular. It was the knowledge she had gleaned from all the ancient books on erotica she had read. She delighted her partners with techniques they had never even dreamed of, that were thousands of years old, and long forgotten. She brought a new meaning to the word “ecstasy.”