‘The last governor,’ Brazil politely reminded her.
‘What is relevant about that and how does it matter?” retorted Ehrhart, who had been raised in Vienna and Yugoslavia and did not speak English well.
‘It matters because Governor Feuer hasn’t gotten around to appointing a new commission yet. I don’t think it’s a good idea for us to be making assumptions about his policies and mandates, Mrs. Ehrhart.’
There was a high-pitched, outraged pause.
‘Are you implicating that he might dissolute my commission and undo it? That he and I may be a problem in my relationship?’ said Ehrhart.
Brazil knew that a good nameplate should attract attention without overdoing it. Perhaps because they were on the subject of gangs, Brazil suddenly scrawled Richmond P.D. graffiti-style.
‘Wow,’ he muttered in excitement.
‘Wow which?’ Ehrhart’s angry voice filled the office.
‘I’m sorry.’ Brazil came to. ‘What were you saying?’
‘I demand you tell me when you were saying wow about just there,’ she demanded.
Chief Hammer filled the doorway. Brazil rolled his eyes and put his finger to his lips.
‘I think you were became impertinent!’ Ehrhart went on.
‘No, ma’am. I wasn’t saying wow about anything that has to do with you,’ Brazil answered honestly.
‘Oh really? And did that supposedly mean what?’
Tm working on something here, and was saying wow about it.’
‘Oh, I see. Here I am taken my costly time to call your phone, and you’re working on something else in addition to our conversing while I’m talking to you?’
‘Yes, ma’am. But I’m listening.’ Brazil tried not to laugh as he looked at Hammer, who was never amused by Ehrhart.
West walked in.
‘What… ?’ she started to say.
Hammer motioned for her to be silent. Brazil clamped his pencil between his teeth and crossed his eyes.
‘The upshoot, Officer Brazil, is I simple will not allow to permit you a commission quote for whatever your next column might be about in terms of so-called gangs. You’re banging out by a thread on a limb all alone on this one!’
Brazil snatched the pencil out of his mouth and wrote down the quote. West scowled. Hammer shook her head in disgust.
‘We members on the Blue Ribbon Crime Commission are children pro-advocates, not bounty hunting,’ she preached on. ‘Even if children do formulate little groups, what by the when is perfect and normal, certainly all of us had our little cliches where we were in school and to start labels them as gangs is like all this millions of misspoken facts about well-meaning mens who play Santa Claus at Christmas all being children molesters, or that clowns are, or that the Internet becomes that. And this is how there things all get their inception. Because of the power of suggesting that the media has. Don’t you view how you’ve opened a flooded gate? So I’m asking you reasonable to square a peg in that round hole right now.’
Brazil was biting his hand. He cleared his throat several times.
‘I understand what you’re…’ His voice went up an octave and cracked.
He cleared his throat again, tears in his eyes, face bright red as he held back laughter that was fast becoming hysterical. Hammer looked like she wanted to break Lelia Ehrhart’s neck, as usual. West’s expression pretty much mirrored her boss’s.
‘Then am I to happily assumption that we won’t hear no more about this gang paraphernalia?’ said Ehrhart, who was famous for her creativity with self-expression.
Brazil simply could not speak.
‘Are you where?’
Brazil mashed several buttons on the phone at the same time to give the impression there was trouble on the line. He quietly depressed the hang-up button and returned the receiver to its cradle.
‘Gang paraphernalia!’ He was weak with laughter.
‘Oh great,’ West said. ‘Now she’ll call us. Way to go, Andy. Every time you get with her on the fucking phone, this happens. Then she calls the chief or me. Thanks a hell of a lot.’
‘We have things to discuss,’ Hammer announced, coming inside the office. ‘We’ll leave Lelia for later. She takes up far too much of our time as is.’
‘Why can’t you say something to Governor Feuer?’ Brazil said as he took a deep breath and wiped his eyes.