Ripping Time by Robert Asprin & Linda Evans

The porter, mouthing abject apologies, was scrambling for the luggage while the ticket clerk, visibly appalled, was rushing around the counter to assist the injured tourist.

“Ma’am, I’m so dreadfully sorry—“

“You ought to be! For God’s sake, can’t you get him out of the way?” The unfortunate porter had lost his balance again and nearly crashed into her a second time. “I paid six thousand dollars for this ticket! And that clumsy jackass just dropped a trunk on my foot!”

The harried ticket agent was thrusting the porter’s validated ticket into the nearest pocket she could reach on his dungarees, while waving frantically for baggage assistance and apologizing profusely. “I’m terribly sorry, we’ll get this taken care of immediately, ma’am, would you like for me to call a doctor to the gate to see your foot?”

“And have them put me in a cast and miss the gate? My God, what a lot of idiots you are! I ought to hire a lawyer! I’m sorry I ever signed that stupid hold harmless waiver. Well don’t just stand there, here’s my ticket! I want to sit down and get off my poor foot! It’s swelling up and hurts like hell!”

Time Tours baggage handlers scrambled to the porter’s assistance, hauling scattered luggage out of the way so the irate, foot-sore tourist could complete her check-in procedure and hobble over to the nearest chair. She sent endless black and glowering glares at the drunken Joey Tyrolin and his porter, who was now holding his employer’s head while that worthy was thoroughly sick into a decorative planter. Another Time Tours employee, visibly horrified, was fetching a wet cloth and basin. Paula Booker and the other Denver-bound tourists crowded as far as possible from Joey Tyrolin’s corner of the departures lounge. Even Skeeter Jackson was steering clear of the mess and its accompanying stench.