ROALD DAHL. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

‘But could you send it by television if you wanted to, as you do chocolate?’ asked Mike Teavee.

‘Of course I could!’

‘And what about people?’ asked Mike Teavee. ‘Could you send a real live person from one place to another in the same way?’

‘A person!’ cried Mr Wonka. ‘Are you off your rocker?’

‘But could it be done?’

‘Good heavens, child, I really don’t know . . . I suppose it could . . . yes. I’m pretty sure it could . . . of course it could . . . I wouldn’t like to risk it, though . . . it might have some very nasty results . . .’

But Mike Teavee was already off and running. The moment he heard Mr Wonka saying, ‘I’m pretty sure it could . . . of course it could,’ he turned away and started running as fast as he could towards the other end of the room where the great camera was standing. ‘Look at me!’ he shouted as he ran. ‘I’m going to be the first person in the world to be sent by television!’

‘No, no, no, no!’ cried Mr Wonka.

‘Mike!’ screamed Mrs Teavee. ‘Stop! Come back! You’ll be turned into a million tiny pieces!’

But there was no stopping Mike Teavee now. The crazy boy rushed on, and when he reached the enormous camera, he jumped straight for the switch, scattering Oompa-Loompas right and left as he went.

‘See you later, alligator!’ he shouted, and he pulled down the switch, and as he did so, he leaped out into the full glare of the mighty lens.

There was a blinding flash.

Then there was silence.

Then Mrs Teavee ran forward . . . but she stopped dead in the middle of the room . . . and she stood there . . . she stood staring at the place where her son had been . . . and her great red mouth opened wide and she screamed, ‘He’s gone! He’s gone!’

‘Great heavens, he has gone!’ shouted Mr Teavee.

Mr Wonka hurried forward and placed a hand gently on Mrs Teavee’s shoulder. ‘We shall have to hope for the best,’ he said. ‘We must pray that your little boy will come out unharmed at the other end.’

‘Mike!’ screamed Mrs Teavee, clasping her head in her hands. ‘Where are you?’

‘I’ll tell you where he is,’ said Mr Teavee, ‘he’s whizzing around above our heads in a million tiny pieces!’

‘Don’t talk about it!’ wailed Mrs Teavee.

‘We must watch the television set,’ said Mr Wonka. ‘He may come through any moment.’

Mr and Mrs Teavee and Grandpa Joe and little Charlie and Mr Wonka all gathered round the television and stared tensely at the screen. The screen was quite blank.

‘He’s taking a heck of a long time to come across,’ said Mr Teavee, wiping his brow.

‘Oh dear, oh dear,’ said Mr Wonka, ‘I do hope that no part of him gets left behind.’

‘What on earth do you mean?’ asked Mr Teavee sharply.

‘I don’t wish to alarm you,’ said Mr Wonka, ‘but it does sometimes happen that only about half the little pieces find their way into the television set. It happened last week. I don’t know why, but the result was that only half a bar of chocolate came through.’

Mrs Teavee let out a scream of horror. ‘You mean only a half of Mike is coming back to us?’ she cried.

‘Let’s hope it’s the top half,’ said Mr Teavee.

‘Hold everything!’ said Mr Wonka. ‘Watch the screen! Something’s happening!’

The screen had suddenly begun to flicker.

Then some wavy lines appeared.

Mr Wonka adjusted one of the knobs and the wavy lines went away.

And now, very slowly, the screen began to get brighter and brighter.

‘Here he comes!’ yelled Mr Wonka. ‘Yes, that’s him all right!’

‘Is he all in one piece?’ cried Mrs Teavee.

‘I’m not sure,’ said Mr Wonka. ‘It’s too early to tell.’

Faintly at first, but becoming clearer and clearer every second, the picture of Mike Teavee appeared on the screen. He was standing up and waving at the audience and grinning from ear to ear.

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