Only two and a half weeks earlier Marissa had climbed the same steps for a routine annual Pap smear only to learn a few days later that the results were abnormal, bearing the grade CIN #1. She’d been genuinely surprised, having always enjoyed perfect health. Vaguely she’d wondered if the abnormality had anything to do with her recent marriage to Robert Buchanan. Since their wedding, they had certainly been enjoying the physical side of their relationship a great deal.
Marissa grasped the brass handle of the massive front door and stepped into the lobby. The decor was rather stark although it reflected good taste and certainly money. The floor was surfaced in dark green marble. Ficus trees in large brick planters lined the windows. In the middle of the room was a circular information booth. Marissa had to wait her turn. She unbuttoned her coat and shook the moisture from her long brown hair.
Two weeks previously, having received the surprising result of the Pap smear, Marissa had had a long phone conversation with her gynecologist, Ronald Carpenter. He had strongly recommended the colposcopy-biopsy procedure.
“Nothing to it,” he’d said with conviction.
“Piece of cake, and then we know for sure what’s going on in there. It’s probably nothing. We could wait for a while and do another smear, but if it were my wife, I’d say do the colposcopy. All that means is looking at the cervix with a microscope.”
“I know what a colposcopy is,” Marissa had told him.
“Well, then, you know how easy it is,” Dr. Carpenter had added.
“I’ll give the old cervix a good look, snip out a tiny piece of anything suspicious, and that will be it. You could be outta here in an hour. And we’ll give you something in case there’s any pain. In most centers they don’t give any analgesia for biopsies, but we’re more civilized. It’s really easy. I could do it in my sleep.”
Marissa had always liked Dr. Carpenter. She appreciated his offhand, easygoing manner. Yet his attitude about a biopsy made her appreciate the fact that surgeons viewed surgery in a fundamentally different way than patients did. She wasn’t concerned about how easy the procedure was for him. She was concerned about its effect on her. After all, above and beyond the pain, there was always the possibility of a complication.
Yet she was reluctant to procrastinate. As a physician, she was well aware of the consequences of putting off a biopsy. For the first time, Marissa felt medically vulnerable. There was a remote but real possibility that the biopsy might prove to be positive for cancer. In that case, the sooner she knew the answer, the better off she’d be.
“Day surgery is on the third floor,” the receptionist said cheerfully in response to Marissa’s question. “just follow the red line on the floor.”
Marissa looked down at her feet. A red, a yellow, and a blue line ran around the information booth. The red line led her to the elevators.
On the third floor, Marissa followed the red line to-a window with a sliding glass panel. A nurse dressed in a standard white uniform opened the panel as Marissa approached.
“I’m Marissa Blumenthal,” Marissa managed. She had to clear her throat to get it out.
The nurse found her folder, glanced at it briefly to see if it was complete, then extracted a plastic ID bracelet. Reaching across the countertop, the nurse helped Marissa secure the bracelet.
Marissa found the procedure unexpectedly humiliating. From about the third year in medical school, she’d always felt in control in a hospital setting. Suddenly the tables were turned. A shiver of dread passed through her.
“It will be a few minutes,” the nurse intoned. Then she pointed to some double doors.
“There’s a comfortable waiting room just through there. Someone will call you when they are ready.” The glass panel slid shut.
Dutifully Marissa went through the doors into a large, square room, furnished in a nondescript modern style. About thirty people were waiting. Marissa felt the stare of silent eyes as she self-consciously hurried to an empty seat at the end of a couch.
There was a view of the Charles River across a small green park. Silhouetted against the gray water were the leafless skeletons of the sycamore trees that lined the embankment.