Roughing It by Mark Twain

Roughing It by Mark Twain

Roughing It by Mark Twain

TO

CALVIN H. HIGBIE,

Of California,

an Honest Man, a Genial Comrade, and a Steadfast Friend.

THIS BOOK IS INSCRIBED

By the Author,

In Memory of the Curious Time

When We Two

WERE MILLIONAIRES FOR TEN DAYS.

ROUGHING IT

BY

MARK TWAIN.

(SAMUEL L. CLEMENS.)

PREFATORY.

This book is merely a personal narrative, and not a pretentious history

or a philosophical dissertation. It is a record of several years of

variegated vagabondizing, and its object is rather to help the resting

reader while away an idle hour than afflict him with metaphysics, or goad

him with science. Still, there is information in the volume; information

concerning an interesting episode in the history of the Far West, about

which no books have been written by persons who were on the ground in

person, and saw the happenings of the time with their own eyes. I allude

to the rise, growth and culmination of the silver-mining fever in Nevada

-a curious episode, in some respects; the only one, of its peculiar kind,

that has occurred in the land; and the only one, indeed, that is likely

to occur in it.

Yes, take it all around, there is quite a good deal of information in the

book. I regret this very much; but really it could not be helped:

information appears to stew out of me naturally, like the precious ottar

of roses out of the otter. Sometimes it has seemed to me that I would

give worlds if I could retain my facts; but it cannot be. The more I calk

up the sources, and the tighter I get, the more I leak wisdom. Therefore,

I can only claim indulgence at the hands of the reader, not

justification.

THE AUTHOR.

CONTENTS.

CHAPTER I.

My Brother appointed Secretary of Nevada–I Envy His Prospective

Adventures–Am Appointed Private Secretary Under Him–My Contentment

Complete–Packed in One Hour–Dreams and Visions–On the Missouri River–

A Bully Boat

CHAPTER II.

Arrive at St. Joseph–Only Twenty-five Pounds Baggage Allowed–Farewell

to Kid Gloves and Dress Coats–Armed to the Teeth–The “Allen”–A

Cheerful Weapon–Persuaded to Buy a Mule–Schedule of Luxuries–We Leave

the “States”–“Our Coach”–Mails for the Indians–Between a Wink and an

Earthquake–A Modern Sphynx and How She Entertained Us–A Sociable Heifer

CHAPTER III.

“The Thoroughbrace is Broke”–Mails Delivered Properly–Sleeping Under

Difficulties–A Jackass Rabbit Meditating, and on Business–A Modern

Gulliver–Sage-brush–Overcoats as an Article of Diet–Sad Fate of a

Camel–Warning to Experimenters

CHAPTER IV.

Making Our Bed–Assaults by the Unabridged–At a Station–Our Driver a

Great and Shining Dignitary–Strange Place for a Frontyard–

Accommodations–Double Portraits–An Heirloom–Our Worthy Landlord–

“Fixings and Things”–An Exile–Slumgullion–A Well Furnished Table–The

Landlord Astonished–Table Etiquette–Wild Mexican Mules–Stage-coaching

and Railroading

CHAPTER V.

New Acquaintances–The Cayote–A Dog’s Experiences–A Disgusted Dog–The

Relatives of the Cayote–Meals Taken Away from Home

CHAPTER VI.

The Division Superintendent–The Conductor–The Driver–One Hundred and

Fifty Miles’ Drive Without Sleep–Teaching a Subordinate–Our Old Friend

Jack and a Pilgrim–Ben Holliday Compared to Moses

CHAPTER VII.

Overland City–Crossing the Platte–Bemis’s Buffalo Hunt–Assault by a

Buffalo–Bemis’s Horse Goes Crazy–An Impromptu Circus–A New Departure–

Bemis Finds Refuge in a Tree–Escapes Finally by a Wonderful Method

CHAPTER VIII.

The Pony Express–Fifty Miles Without Stopping–“Here he Comes”–Alkali

Water–Riding an Avalanche–Indian Massacre

CHAPTER IX.

Among the Indians–An Unfair Advantage–Laying on our Arms–A Midnight

Murder–Wrath of Outlaws–A Dangerous, yet Valuable Citizen

CHAPTER X.

History of Slade–A Proposed Fist-fight–Encounter with Jules–Paradise

of Outlaws–Slade as Superintendent–As Executioner–A Doomed Whisky

Seller–A Prisoner–A Wife’s Bravery–An Ancient Enemy Captured–Enjoying

a Luxury–Hob-nobbing with Slade–Too Polite–A Happy Escape

CHAPTER XI.

Slade in Montana–“On a Spree”–In Court–Attack on a Judge–Arrest by

the Vigilantes–Turn out of the Miners–Execution of Slade–Lamentations

of His Wife–Was Slade a Coward?

CHAPTER XII.

A Mormon Emigrant Train–The Heart of the Rocky Mountains–Pure

Saleratus–A Natural Ice-House–An Entire Inhabitant–In Sight of

“Eternal Snow”–The South Pass–The Parting Streams–An Unreliable Letter

Carrier–Meeting of Old Friends–A Spoiled Watermelon–Down the Mountain-

-A Scene of Desolation–Lost in the Dark–Unnecessary Advice–U.S. Troops

and Indians–Sublime Spectacle–Another Delusion Dispelled–Among the

Angels

CHAPTER XIII.

Mormons and Gentiles–Exhilarating Drink, and its Effect on Bemis–Salt

Lake City–A Great Contrast–A Mormon Vagrant–Talk with a Saint–A Visit

to the “King”–A Happy Simile

CHAPTER XIV.

Mormon Contractors–How Mr. Street Astonished Them–The Case Before

Brigham Young, and How he Disposed of it–Polygamy Viewed from a New