Eighty?”
My mom hit the lottery down in Tijuana, Peoria had said, and I had known something about it wasn’t right even then.
Forty thousand bucks . . . My Uncle Fred went down and picked up the cash yest’y
afternoon. He brought it back in the
saddlebag of his Vinnie!
“Yeah,” I said, “something like that, I guess. And they always pay off that way, don’t they? In pesos?’
He gave me that look again, as if I was crazy, then remembered I really was and
readjusted his face. “Well, yeah. It is
the Mexican lottery, you know. They couldn’t very well pay off in dollars.”
“How true,” I said, and in my mind I saw Peoria’s thin, eager face, heard him
saying, It was spread all over my mom’s
bed! Forty-froggin- thousand smackers!
Except how could a blind kid be sure of the exact amount. . . or even that it really
was money he was rolling around in?
The answer was simple: he couldn’t. But even a blind newsboy would know that la
lotería paid off in pesos rather than
in dollars, and even a blind newsboy had to know you couldn’t carry forty thousand dollars’ worth of Mexican lettuce
in the saddlebag of a Vincent motorcycle. His uncle would have needed a City of Los Angeles dump truck to transport
that much dough.
Confusion, confusion–nothing but dark clouds of confusion.
“Thanks,” I said, and headed for my office.
I’m sure that was a relief for all three of us.
_______________________________________________________________________
IV. Umney’s Last Client.
“Candy, honey, I don’t want to see anybody or take any ca–”
I broke off. The outer office was empty. Candy’s desk in the corner was unnaturally bare, and after a moment I saw
why: the IN/OUT tray had been dumped into the trash basket and her pictures of Errol Flynn and William Powell were
both gone. So was her Philco. The little blue stenographer’s stool, from which Candy had been wont to flash her
gorgeous gams, was unoccupied.
My eyes returned to the IN/OUT tray sticking out of the trash can like the prow of a sinking ship, and for a moment my
heart leaped. Perhaps someone had been in here, tossed the place, kidnapped Candy.
Perhaps it was a case, in other
words. At that moment I would have welcomed a case, even if it meant some mug was tying Candy up at this very
moment . . . and adjusting the rope over the firm swell of her breasts with particular care. Any way out of the cobwebs
that seemed to be falling around me sounded just peachy to me.
The trouble with the idea was simple: the room hadn’t been tossed. The IN/OUT was in the trash, true enough, but that
didn’t indicate a struggle; in fact, it was more as if . . .
There was just one thing left on the desk, placed squarely in the center of the
blotter. A white envelope. Just looking at
it gave me a bad feeling. My feet carried me across the room just the same, however, and I picked it up. Seeing my
name written across the front of the envelope in Candy’s wide loops and swirls was no surprise; it was just another
unpleasant part of this long, unpleasant morning.
I ripped it open and a single slip of note-paper fell out into my hand.
Dear Clyde, I have had all of the groping and sneering I’m going to take from you, and I am tired of your ridiculous and
childish jokes about my name. Life is too short to be pawed by a middle-aged divorce detective with bad breath. You
did have your good points Clyde but they are getting drownded out by the bad ones,
especially since you started drinking
all the time. Do yourself a favor and grow up. Yours truely, Arlene Cain P.S.: I’m going back to my mother’s in Idaho.
Do not try to get in touch with me.
I held the note a moment or two longer, looking at it unbelievingly, then dropped it.
One phrase from it recurred as I
watched it seesaw lazily down toward the already occupied trash basket: I am tired of your ridiculous and childish jokes