Sue Grafton – “F” Is for Fugitive

“I guess that’s one interpretation,” I said. “Actually, I’m in town to look into the murder. Bailey says now he’s innocent.”

Silence.

I tried again. “You know, there never was much of an investigation once he pled guilty.”

“So what?”

“Suppose he’s telling the truth? Suppose whoever killed her is still running around town, thumbing his nose at the rest of us?”

There was a long pause and then she opened the door.

Her hair was disheveled, eyes puffy, mascara smeared, nose running. She smelled like bourbon. She tightened the sash on her flowered cotton kimono and stared at me blearily. “You were in court.”

Yes.

She swayed slightly, working to focus. “You believe in justice? You b’lieve justice is done?”

“On occasion.”

“Yeah, well, I don’t. So what’s there to talk about? Tap’s been shot down. Jean’s choked to death. You think any of this is going to bring my daughter back?”

I said nothing, but I kept my gaze on her, waiting for her to wind down.

Her expression darkened with contempt. “You prob’ly don’t even have kids. I bet you never even had a dog. You look like somebody breezing through life without a care in this world. Stand there talking about ‘innocence.’ What do you know about innocence?”

I kept my temper intact, but my tone was mild. “Let’s put it this way, Mrs. Timberlake. If I had a kid and somebody’d killed her, I wouldn’t be drunk in the middle of the day. I’d be out pulling this town apart until I found out who did it. And then I’d manufacture some justice of my own if that’s what it took.”

“Well, I can’t help you.”

“You don’t know that. You don’t even know what I want.”

“Why don’t you tell me?”

“Why don’t you invite me in and we’ll talk.”

She glanced back over her shoulder. “Place looks like shit.”

“Who cares?”

She focused on me again. She could barely stand up. “How many kids you got?”

“None.”

“That’s how many I got,” she said. She pushed the screen door open and I stepped in.

The place was essentially one long room with a stove, sink, and refrigerator lined up at the far end. Every available surface was stacked with dirty dishes. A small wooden table with two chairs divided the kitchen from the living room, one corner of which was taken up by a brass bed with the sheets half pulled off. The mattress sagged in the middle and it looked as if it would erupt in a symphony of springs if you sat on it. I caught a glimpse of bathroom through a curtained doorway to the right. On the other side of the bathroom, there was a closet, and beyond that was the back door.

I followed her to the kitchen table. She sank into one of the chairs and then got up again, frowning, and moved with great care to the bathroom where she threw up at length. I hate listening to people throw up. (This is big news, I’ll bet.) I moved over to the sink and cleared the dirty dishes out, running hot water to mask the sounds coming from the bathroom. I squirted dish-washing liquid into the tumbling water and watched with satisfaction as a cloud of bubbles began to form. I slid plates into the depths, tucking silverware around the edges.

While the dishes soaked, I emptied the garbage, which consisted almost exclusively of empty whiskey bottles and beer cans. I peered into the refrigerator. The light was out and the interior smelled like mold, the metal racks crusted with what looked like dog doo. I closed the door again, worried I was going to have to take a turn in the bathroom with her.

I tuned an ear to Shana again. I heard the toilet galumphing and, after that, the reassuring white noise of a shower being run. Being an incurable snoop at heart, I turned my attention idly to the mail stacked up on the kitchen table. Since I was being mother’s little helper, I felt almost entitled to nose around in her business. I walked my fingers through some unopened bills and junk mail. Nothing of interest on the face of it. There was only one piece of personal mail, a big square envelope postmarked Los Angeles. A greeting card? Curses. The envelope was sealed so tight I couldn’t even pick the flap loose. Nothing visible when I held it to the light. No scent. Shana’s name and address were handwritten in ink, a genderless script that told me nothing about the person who’d penned it. Reluctantly I tucked it back and returned to the sink.

By the time I had the dishes clean and piled in a perilous mound in the rack, Shana was emerging from the bathroom, her head wrapped in one towel and her body in another. Without any modesty at all, she dried herself off and got dressed. Her body was much older than her face. She sat down at the kitchen table in jeans and a T-shirt, barefoot. She looked exhausted, but her skin was scrubbed and her eyes had cleared to some extent. She lit an unfiltered Camel. This lady took smoking seriously. I didn’t think unfiltered cigarettes were available these days.

I sat down across from her. “When did you last eat?”

“I forget. I started drinking this morning when I got back. Poor Tap. I was standing right there.” She paused and her eyes filled with tears again, her nose turning pink with emotion. “I couldn’t believe what was happening. I just lost it. Couldn’t cope. I wasn’t crazy about him, but he was an okay guy. Kind of dumb. A goofball who made awful jokes. I can’t believe this is starting all over. What was he thinking about? He must have been nuts. Bailey comes back to town and look what happens. Somebody else dead. This time it’s his best friend.”

“Daisy figures somebody put Tap up to it.”

“Bailey did,” she snapped.

“Just wait,” I said. “He got a telephone call last night at Pearl’s. He talked briefly and then took off.”

She blew her nose. “Must have been after I left,” she said, unconvinced. “You want some coffee? It’s instant.”

“Sure, I’ll have some.”

She left her cigarette on the lip of the ashtray and got up. She filled a saucepan with water and stuck it on the back burner, turning on the gas. She extracted two coffee mugs from the dish rack. “Thanks for cleaning up. You didn’t have to do that.”

“Idle hands …” I said, not mentioning that I’d also managed a little of the devil’s work.

She unearthed a jar of instant coffee and a couple of spoons, which she set on the table while we waited for the water to boil. She took another drag from her cigarette and blew the smoke toward the ceiling. I could feel it settle around me like a fine veil. I was going to have to shampoo my hair again and change my clothes.

She said, “I still say Bailey killed her.”

“Why would he do that?”

“Why would anybody else?”

“Well, I don’t know, but from what I’ve heard, he was the only real friend she had.”

She shook her head. Her hair was still wet, separated into long strands that dampened the shoulders of her T-shirt. “God, I hate this. Sometimes I wonder how she would have ended up. I’ve thought about that a lot. I never was much of a mom in terms of the ordinary stuff, but that kid and I were close. More like sisters.”

“I saw some pictures of her in the yearbook. She was beautiful.”

“For all the good it did. Sometimes I think her looks were what caused all her problems.”

“Do you know who she was involved with?”

She shook her head. “I didn’t know she was pregnant until I heard about the coroner’s report. I knew she was sneakin’ out at night, but I have no idea where she went. And what was I supposed to do, nail the door shut? You can’t control a kid that age. I guess maybe I should correct myself. We’d always been close. I thought we still were. If she was in trouble, she could have come to me. I’d have done anything for her.”

“I heard she’d been trying to find out about her father.”

Shana shot me a startled look, then covered her surprise with busyness. She stubbed out her cigarette and moved over to the stove, where she picked up a pot holder and shifted the saucepan unnecessarily. “Where’d you hear that?”

“Bailey. I talked to him at the jail yesterday. You never told her who her father was?”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“I made a deal with him years ago and I kept my part. I might have broken down and told her, but I couldn’t see what purpose it’d serve.”

“Did she ask?”

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