The other inmate, the white girl, was scarcely more than twenty, wearing an ankle-length organza dress and a corsage on one wrist. She was crying so hard it was impossible to figure out what her story was. She sank in a huddle and buried her face in her hands. She and Nettie both reeked of booze. The black woman paced restlessly, staring at Heather, who kept wiping her nose on the hem of her dress. Finally, Nettie stopped pacing and nudged her with a foot.
“What’s the matter with you, blubbering away like that? Hush up a minute and tell me what’s wrong here.”
The girl lifted a tear-streaked face, blotchy with embarrassment. Her nose was pink, her makeup smeared, her fine, pale hair coming loose from a complicated arrangement on top that looked like it had been done professionally. There were little sprigs of baby’s breath tucked here and there like pale dried twigs. She paused to lick at a tear trickling toward her chin and then told a garbled tale of her boyfriend, a fight, being left penniless on the side of the freeway, too drunk to stand, picked up by a CHP cruiser and arrested on the spot. This was her twenty-first birthday and she was spending it in the county jail. She’d barfed on her dress, which she’d had on layaway for six months at Lerner’s. Her daddy was on the city council and she didn’t dare call home. By the time she got to this point, she burst into tears again.
The skinny woman on the mattress made a muffled response. “B.F.D. Big fuckin’ deal.”
Nettie, offended, turned on the woman, whom she apparently knew. She fired a dark look at the huddled form. “Mind your own business, bitch.” She patted Heather awkwardly, unaccustomed to mothering but identifying with her plight. “Poor sweet baby. That’s all right. That’s just fine. Now don’t you be upset. Everything’s going to be all right. … “
I stretched out on my side, my head propped up on my hand. Bibianna had her back against the wall, her arms crossed for warmth. “What a crock of shit. People out there killing each other and they arrest someone like her. I don’t get it. Call her old man and have him come get her out of here. He’s going to call anyway once he figures out she’s not home.”
“How come you’re so down on the police?” I asked.
Bibianna ran a hand through her hair, giving it a toss. “They killed my pop. My mom’s Anglo. He was Latino. They met in high school and she was crazy about him. She gets knocked up and they got married, but it worked out okay.”
“Why’d the cops kill him?”
“It was just something dumb. He was in a little market and lifted something minor – a package of meat and some chewing gum. The store manager caught him and they got into a tussle. Some off-duty cop pulled his gun out and fired. All for a pack of ground beef and some Chiclets for me. What a waste. My mother never got over it. God, it was awful to watch. She married some guy six months later and he turned out to be a real shit, knockin’ her around. Talk about bad karma – the cops killed him, too. She’d kick him out. He’d disappear and then show up again, all contrite. Move in, take her money, beat the crap out of us. He’s drunk half the time, doing ‘ludes and coke, anything else he could get his hands on, I guess. If he wasn’t pawing at her, he was pawing at me. I cut him once, right across the face – nearly took his eye out. One night, he got caught breaking into an apartment building two doors away from us. He barricaded himself in the place with a twelve-gauge. The cops swarmed all over the neighborhood. Television crews. SWAT teams and tear gas. Cops shot him down like a dog. I was eight. It’s like how many times I gotta go through this, you know?”
“Sounds like they did you a service on that one,” I said.
Her smile was bitter, but she made no response.
“Your mother still alive?”
“Down in Los Angeles,” Bibianna said. “What about you? You got family somewhere?”
“Not anymore. I’ve been on my own for years. I thought you were going to do my numbers,” I said.
“Oh, yeah. What’s your birthday?”
The date I was using on the fake ID was a match for mine. “May fifth,” I said, and gave her the year.
“And me without a pencil. Hey, Nettie? You got something to write with?”
Nettie shook her head. “Not unless you count Chap-Stick.”
Bibianna shrugged. “What the hell. Look here.” She licked her finger and drew a big tic-tac-toe grid on the floor. She wrote the number 5 in the center and raised it to the third power. The lights in the cell were dim, but the floor was so grimy I could read the spit graph without squinting. She said, “This is great. See that? Five is the number of change and movement. You got three of them. That’s hot. You know, travel and like that. Growth. You’re the kind of person has to be out there doing things, moving. The zero out here means you don’t have any limits. You can do anything. Like whatever you tried, you’d be good at, you know? But it can scatter you. Especially with all these fives here. Makes it tough to pick the thing you want to do. You’d need to have the kind of job that would never be the same. Know what I mean? You have to be in the middle of the action. … “
She looked at me for confirmation.
“Weird,” I said, for lack of anything better.
Nettie shot us a look. She had one arm around Heather, who had leaned against her for warmth. “We’re trying to get some sleep here. Could you keep it down?”
“Sorry,” Bibianna said. She abandoned the reading and stretched out on the mattress, making herself comfortable. The gridwork she’d drawn seemed to glow in the half-light. The bulb in the cell remained bright, but we were reasonably warm. There was the sense of ongoing activity in the corridors beyond: a phone ringing, footsteps, the murmuring of voices, a cell door clanging shut. At intervals, the smell of cigarette smoke seemed to drift through the vents. Somewhere on the floor below us were the dormitory rooms that housed the fifty to sixty women doing county time in any given period. I could feel myself begin to drift. At least we were out of the rain and the bad guys couldn’t get us. Unless “they” were somebody locked in the cell with us. Now, there was a thought.
“One good thing,” Bibianna murmured drowsily.
“What’s that?”
“They didn’t find that joint. …”
“You are one lucky chick.”
After that, there was quiet except for the occasional rustling of clothes as one of us turned on the mattress. The skinny white woman began to snore softly. I lay entertaining warm thoughts about Bibianna, realizing that from here on out, I’d remember her as the person I first got jailed with, a form of female bonding not commonly recognized. I’d have felt a lot better if Jimmy Tate had come to our rescue, but I really wasn’t sure what he could have done to help. Right now, he was probably sitting in a cell over on the men’s side in roughly the same fix. Crazy Jimmy Tate and Bibianna Diaz, what a pair they made. …
10
THE NEXT THING I knew, there was a jingling of keys. My eyes popped open. One of the female jail officers was unlocking the door. She was short and solid, built like she spent a lot of time at the gym. The other four women in the cell were still asleep. The jail officer pointed at me. Bleary-eyed, I propped myself up on one elbow, pushing the hair out of my face. I pointed at myself – did she want me? Impatiently, she motioned me over to the door. I curled forward, rising to my feet as quietly as I could. There was no way to judge what time it was or how long I’d been asleep. I felt groggy and disoriented. Without a word, she opened the door and I passed through. I followed her down the corridor in my sock feet, wishing with all my heart that I could brush my teeth.
I once dated a cop who had an eight-by-eleven-foot desk built for himself, boasting that the surface was the same size as the two-man cells in Folsom prison. The room I was ushered into was about that size, furnished with a plain wood table, three straight-backed wooden chairs, and a bulb covered with a milky globe. I would have bet money there was recording equipment in there somewhere. I peered under the table. No sign of a wire. I sat down on one of the chairs, wondering how best to comport myself. I knew I was a mess. My hair felt matted, probably sticking straight up in places. I was sure my mascara and eyeliner now circled my eyes in that raccoon effect women so admire in themselves. The trampy outfit I’d concocted was not only wrinkled, but still felt faintly damp. Ah, well. At least if I were subjected to police brutality, I wouldn’t mind bleeding on myself.