Then I climbed to my own small chamber and there stood by the northward window, gazing out into the dusk. I was shivering, but not with the cold; rather with that fear I thought I had overcome in the weeks since Yngilda had planted it in my mind.
Yngilda’s spite, and now this strange outburst from Toross, who, I had not believed, could have said such a thing to me! The right of bride – refusal, yes, that existed. But the few times it had been invoked in the past had led to death feuds between the Houses so involved. Monster – Yngilda had said that. And now Toross – repeating the word “man” as if it could not be applied to my lord! Yet my uncle would not wish to use me ill, and surely he had considered very well the marriage proposal when it had first been made to him. I had also Dame Math’s solemn oath.
I longed all at once for the garden of the Past-Abbess Malwinna. To her alone could I speak on this matter. Dame Math’s stand I already knew: that my lord was a victim of misfortune. This I could believe more readily than that he was in any way not a man. For after sworn oaths between my uncle and his father, such a thing could not be. And I heartened myself by such sensible council, pinning additional hope on my plan to send Kerovan the picture.
But thereafter I avoided Toross as much as I could, though he made special attempts several times to have private conversation with me. I could claim duties enough to keep me aloof, and claim them I speedily did. Then there came a day when he had private conversation with my uncle, and before the day’s end he and his men rode out of Ithkrypt. Dame Math was summoned to my uncle, and thereafter Archan came to bring me also.
My uncle was scowling as I had seen him do at times when he was crossed in some matter. And that scowl was turned blackly on me as I entered.
“What is this boil of trouble you have started, wench?” His voice was only slightly below a roar, aimed at me when I was scarcely within the doorway. “Are you so light of word that you – “
Dame Math arose from her chair. Her face was as anger-cast as his, but she looked at him, not me.
“We shall have Joisan’s word before you speak so!” Her lower tone cut across his. “Joisan, this day Toross came to your uncle and spoke of bride-refusal – “
It was my turn to interrupt; my anger also heated by such an accusation from my uncle, before he had asked my position in the matter.
“So did he speak to me also. I told him I would not listen; nor am I an oath-breaker! Or do you, who know me well, also believe that?”
Dame Math nodded. “It is as I thought. Has Joisan lived under your eyes for all these years without your knowing her for what she is? What said Toross to you, Joisan?”
“He seemed to think evil concerning my Lord Kerovan, and that I should use bride-refusal not to go to him. I told him what I thought of his shameful words and left him, nor would I have any private speech with him thereafter.”
“Bride-refusal!” My uncle brought his fist down on the table with the thump of a war drum. “Is that youngling mad? To start a blood feud, not only with Ulmsdale, but half the north who would stand beside Ulric in such a matter! Why does he urge this?”
There was frost in Dame Math’s eyes, a certain quirk to her lips which suggested that she was not altogether displeased at his asking that
“I can think of two reasons, brother. One stemming from his own hot blood. The other placed in his mind by – “
“Enough! There is no need to list what may or may not have moved Toross to this folly. Now listen, girl,” he swung on me again. “Ulric took oath that his heir was fit to be the lord of any woman. That his wife was disordered in her wits when the lad was born, that all men know. She so took such a dislike to the child she named him monster, which he is not. Also Ulric spoke with me privately upon a matter which has much to do with this, and which I tell you now, but you shall keep mum-mouthed about it hereafter – remember that, girl!”
“I shall so.” I gave him my promise when he paused as if expecting that assurance from me.
“Well enough. Then listen – there is always something behind such wild tales when you hear them, so learn in the future to winnow the true from the false.
“The Lady Tephana, who is your lord’s mother (and a fine mother she has been to him!), had an elder son Hlymer, by her first marriage. Since he got no lands from his father, she brought him with her to Ulmsdale. In addition she has had a daughter – Lisana – who is but one year younger than your lord.
“This daughter she has seen betrothed to one of her own House. And the daughter she dotes upon with all the affection to equal her distaste for Kerovan. Thus Ulric of Ulmsdale has reason to believe that within his own household lie seeds of trouble for his heir – for Hlymer makes common cause with Lisana’s betrothed, and they see a lord to come who is not Kerovan. Ulric can make no move against them, for he has no proof. But because he would not see his son despoiled when he could no longer protect him, he wished some strong tie for Kerovan, to unite him with a House that would support him when the time comes that he needs shields raised for him.
“Since no man can sit in the high seat of a keep who is not sound of body and mind, how better create doubt in possible supporters for a threatened heir than by bending rumor to one’s use, spreading tales of ‘monsters’ and the like? You have seen what happens when such tales come into the hearing of those who do not guess what may lie behind their telling. Toross came to me with such a story – he is filled with it. Since I am sworn not to reveal, save to the parties most deeply concerned, any of Ulric’s fears for the future, I bade Toross ride forth if he could not hold his tongue. But that you might have listened to him – “
I shook my head. “It was he who came to me with it. But I had already heard such a tale in greater detail from his sister in Trevamper.”
“So Math told me.” The flush had faded from my uncle’s face. Now I knew he was slightly ashamed of the way he had greeted me, not that he would ever say so. But such things had always been understood between us.
“You see, girl,” he continued, “how far this story has spread. I do not think Ulric is altogether wise in not better ordering his household. But each man is lord in his own keep and needs must face his own shadows there. But know this – your wedded lord is such a man as you will be proud to hand – fast when the time comes – as it will soon now. Take no heed of these rumors, knowing their source and purpose.”
“For which knowing I give thanks,” I replied.
When Dame Math and I left his company together, she drew me apart into her own chamber and looked at me searchingly, as if by that steady gaze alone she could hunt out every unspoken thought within my mind.
“How chanced Toross to speak to you on this matter? He must have had some reason – one does not so easily break custom. You are a wedded lady, Joisan, not an unspoken – for maid who allows her eyes to stray this way or that.”
So I told her of my plan. To my surprise she did not object nor seem to think what I was doing was beneath the dignity of my station. Instead she nodded briskly.
“What you do is fitting, Joisan. Perhaps we should have arranged such an exchange ourselves long ago. That would have broken such rumors. Had you had a picture of Kerovan in your belt-purse when Yngilda spoke to you, it would have answered well. So Toross was angered at what you did? It was past time when that youth should have returned to those who sent him to make trouble!” She was angry again, but not with me. Only what moved her now she did not explain.
So I finished the picture case, and Dame Math approved its making as an excellent example of my best needlecraft. Making all ready, I laid it away in my coffer against the arrival of the party from Ulmsdale.