“It’s warm, I’m afraid, but then you Brits like your beer warm, don’t you?”
“First off, mate, I’m not a Brit. I’m an Aussie. Second, while there are some British ales that are better served at room temperature, Foster’s is a lager, and is best served chilled.” Switching back to Westronese, he said, “Page! Run these off to one of the nearest cold shafts, won’t you? And the rest of you, take some of these other beers and wines there as well.”
As the men went to the door with cases of beer and wine, I said, “A cold shaft, my lord? What’s that all about?”
“It’s a place where it’s cold. You haven’t done much exploring around here, have you? I’ll have to see that they’re covered on the tour we’ll arrange for you. In the meantime, haven’t you wondered why it’s always cool and pleasant here, even though we’re at sea level and near the equator? It’s because of a system that was built in the first century after the islands started floating. You see, while the water at the surface of the ocean is often quite warm, if you go a few hundred feet down, it’s as cold as it can get without freezing. Our ancestors dug tunnels down to below that level, and arranged a series of check valves to keep the cold water flowing no matter which way the relative currents around the islands were going. There are a number of large, shallow ponds of cold water within the bowels of the islands. Air currents are forced over these ponds, and then circulate through all of our living spaces, keeping the temperature pleasant. The shafts that bring these air currents up are naturally much cooler than the rest of the structure, and are useful for chilling things that are better cold.”
“That’s quite a system,” Adam said. “But you’re cooling down the air and then moving it up. That requires external power. How are you doing it?”
“The water is raised by the ramming force of the winds and water currents around us. In general, we are moving with the ocean currents, of course, but wind and chance make for some slight differentials. The water taken in isn’t warmed very much, so its density isn’t very different going up or going down. Only friction has to be paid for, and that’s kept small by the large size of the tunnels.
“As to the air currents, well, on the ocean there’s generally a wind about, and there are tunnels all about the islands with shutters on them that let air in, but not out. To get back out, the air must flow over the cool ponds before it can come out through someone’s house. This cools only the leeward half of the islands, of course, but we see to it that the islands turn fairly often. The stone they’re made of has a lot of thermal mass, so being without cooling for a day or two isn’t noticed. We have to be in a dead calm for a week before it gets uncomfortable around here, and that’s a very rare event. Come visit my office and I’ll show you a diagram of the system.”
“I’d like that,” Adam said. “We’re going to need those diagrams when we give the bottom of the island a good scrape job.”
“There’s another thing that’s bothering me,” I said. “I can see how they could dig tunnels down to below sea level, so long as there wasn’t any water in them. But how did they mine their way through to the ocean without drowning the workers?”
“They used gunpowder to blast their way out. We’ve had gunpowder here since the fourth century. How else do you think that a bunch of peaceful farmers and scholars could have beaten off three major Viking raids?” the Australian warlock said.
“I’m surprised that I never heard of any legends of such a battle.”
“That’s simple enough. We don’t write songs about killing people, and the Vikings didn’t live long enough to sing about it!”
After the meal, it was decided that the smaller cans of Budweiser were cool enough to drink, and the party settled back for a while. I figured that this would be a good time to do something about the stupid arsenal that Adam had hidden aboard.
Excusing myself, I climbed up into the boat, and used a ten-foot ladder to get from the hull wall up to the keel. I found the screwdriver and the screw that Adam had talked about. I had only used a squib once before, but I knew that despite the fact that they were powered by an explosive charge, one going off really isn’t much of an explosion. It’s more like a fast, strong push, and they are not all that noisy when they are used properly. This was one of Adam’s engineering jobs, so I wasn’t worried about bothering anyone in the least. I cleared the encapsulating plastic from the screw, inserted the driver and gave it the clockwise twist that would energize the squibs.
The resulting explosion blew two large footlockers sideways out from the keel, taking the ladder and me with it out into the hold. I bounced off the now- vertical upper deck, slid down the ladder, and sat down hard. Both lockers broke open on the way down, spewing weapons, ammunition, and various instruments of death and destruction all over everything in sight, including me.
I spent a few moments wondering if both my legs were broken before everyone started crowding into the hull of the ship. So much for secrecy. The warlock was the first one to get to me.
“Are you all right? Try wiggling your toes,” he said as he removed rifles and boxes of ammo from my battered body.
“I seem to be all right, my lord. More damage to my pride than anything else.”
“Good. I’d hate to lose you. What are all these guns for?”
“They were Adam’s idea. I didn’t know about them until today. He was worried that we might run into some rough characters on the high seas, and, well, better safe than sorry, you know? But now, since we are in civilized company, we thought that it might be best if we just hid them somewhere, so as not to give you the wrong impression of us.”
“I see,” he said, pulling the case from a shotgun. “This is quite a beauty! Chrome plated?”
“Stainless steel. They all are. Please understand that all of these weapons are legal back where we come from. There are no machine guns or heavy explosives.”
“Right. Well, if you were just going to store them somewhere, how about if I took care of that for you? We could put them in the duke’s arsenal with the rest of the weapons.”
“The duke’s arsenal?”
“Yes. It’s mostly just a bunch of interesting antiques, but all of the machine guns and ammunition from my old B-17 and the Jap plane are there as well. We haven’t had any need for such things here, of course, but waste not, want not, you know.”
“My lord, we would be delighted if you would take these embarrassing things away and store them properly.”
As the warlock’s men were hauling the arsenal away, I went over to talk to Adam.
“The one time you really screw up an engineering job, and it has to be with a truckload of guns in front of the number two man on the whole island! Damn you, Adam!”
“Yeah, well, your timing could have been a bit better, you know. Why did you have to do it when everybody was here?”
“We agreed that I should do it during lunch.”
“That was before we knew who else would be here eating with us. You should have thought it out better. Anyway, it’s all worked out just fine. The guns are gone, and maybe we can make the duke a gift of them. I mean, if he keeps an arsenal, he must like guns. Most guys do, you know,” Adam said.
“All right. So why did your squibs overreact?”
“I’d sized them to lift the cases straight up, boss. I forgot that with the boat sideways, no lifting was necessary, and the resultant extra energy had to go someplace. In your lap, as it turned out.”
“Grumble.”
Some time later, the warlock was getting ready to leave.
“My lord,” I said. “One thing you might want to do is to start writing up a wish list, things that you would like us to buy for you once we get to the mainland. And you might suggest to the archbishop that he write up such a list as well.”
“A clever thought, that. If he gets his mind going on what he wants you to bring back, he might forget that he was against your going in the first place! Oh, yes. What did you want done with all of your electronic equipment that is up in my chambers? Shall I have my people bring it down here to you?”