The Galaxy Primes by E E ‘Doc’ Smith

‘I don’t like the word “Navy”,’ Garlock said. ‘It’s tied definitely to warfare. How about calling it the “Galactic Service”? Applicable to either war or peace. Brass hats will think of us in terms of war, even though we’ll actually work for peace. Any objections?’

There were no objections.

‘About the uniforms,’ Lola said eagerly. ‘Space-black and star-white, with chromium comets and things on the shoulders…’

To hell with uniforms,’ Garlock broke in. ‘Why do women have to go off the deep end on clothes?’

‘No, she’s right, Clee,’ James said. ‘Without a uniform you won’t get off the ground, not even with the Society. And you’ll

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be talking to Top Planetary Brass. Also, they’re Gunthered plenty – you can feel their Op field clear out here.’

‘Could be,’ Garlock conceded. ‘Okay, you girls dope it out to suit yourselves. But do you think you can stand it, Belle, to wear more than twelve square inches of clothes?’

‘Wait till you see it, friend. I’ve been designing a uniform for myself for positively years’

‘I can’t wait. And you’re a captain, of course.’

‘What? You can’t have two cap … oh, I see. Primes. I appreciate that, Clee. Thanks.’

‘Hold on, both of you,’ James said. ‘You haven’t thought this through far enough. Suppose we meet forces already organized? Better start high than low. You’ve got to be top admiral, Clee.’

‘Like hell! Suppose We don’t find anything at all?”

‘You’re right, Jim,’ Belle said. ‘Clee, you talk like a man with a paper nose. It’s you who’s been yowling for two solid years about being ready for anything.’

‘Correction accepted. Brief me.’

‘Ranks should be different from those of United Worlds. They should be descriptive, but impressive. Tops could be Galactic Admiral. That’s you. Vice Galactic Admiral – me…”

‘Galactic Vice Admiral would be better,’ Lola said.

‘Accepted. Those two we’ll make stick come hell or space-warps. Right?’

Garlock did not reply immediately. ‘Up to either one of two points,’ he agreed finally.

‘What points?’

‘War, or being out-Gunthered. Top Gunther takes top place – man, woman, bird, beast, fish, or bug-eyed-monster.’

‘Oh.’ Belle was staggered for a moment. ‘No war, of course. As to the others … I hadn’t thought of that.’

There are a lot of things none of us had thought of, but as amended I’ll buy it.’

Then several Regional Admirals, each with his Regional Vice Admiral. Then System Admirals and Vices; and World or Planetary – naming the planet, you know – Admirals and Vices. Let the various Galaxian Societies take over from there down. How do you like that?’

‘Nice. And formal address, intra-ship, will be Mister and

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Miss. Jim and Brownie?’

They liked it. ‘Where do we fit in?’ James asked.

‘Pick your own spots,’ Garlock said.

‘If we stick to the Solar System we aren’t so apt to get bumped by Primes. So you can make the Solar System Admiral and Brownie my Vice.’

‘Okay. How long will it take you, Belle, to materialize those uniforms?’

‘Fifteen seconds longer than it takes the converter to scan us. Lola’s color scheme is right, and I’ve got everything else down to the last curlicue of chrome. Let’s go.’

They went; and came back into the Main in uniform.

That of the men, while something on the spectacular side, was more or less conventional, with stiff-visored, screened, heavily-chromed caps – but the women’s uniforms! Slippers, overseas caps, shorts, and jackets – but what jackets!

‘Well…’ Garlock said,’ after examining the two girls speechlessly for a good half minute. ‘It doesn’t look exactly like a spray-on job – but if you ever take a deep breath it’ll split from here to there.’

‘Oh, no. The fabric stretches a little, see? Nothing like a sweater, but a similar effect – perhaps a bit more so.’

‘Quite a bit more so, I’d say. However, since Operators and Primes are automatically stacked like Interplan Towers, I don’t suppose your recruits will be unduly perturbed at the exposure. Are we finally ready to go down and get to work?’

‘I am,’ James said. ‘How do you want to handle it?’

‘Run a search pattern. Belle and I will center their Op field and check on Ops and Primes. You two probe at will.’

Around and around the planet, in brief bursts of completely incomprehensible speed, the huge ship darted. The tremendous oceans and six great continents were traversed … the ice-caps … the frigid, the temperate, and the torrid zones. Wherever she went, powerful and efficient radar scanned and tracked her; wherever she went, excitement seethed.

‘Beta Centauri Five,’ Garlock reported, after a few minutes. ‘Margonia, they call it. Biggest continent and nation named Nargoda. Capital city Margon; Margon Base is on the coast nearby. Lots of Gunther Firsts. All the real Gunther, though, is clear across the continent. They’re building a starship. Four-

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teen Ops and two Primes – a man and a woman. Deggi Del-camp’s a big bruiser, with a godawful lot of stuff. Ugly as hell, though. He’s a bossy type.’

‘I’m amazed.’ James played it straight. ‘I thought all male Primes would be just like you. Timorous Timmies.’

‘Huh? Oh…’ Garlock was taken slightly aback, but went on quickly, ‘What do you think of your opposite number, Belle?’ He smiled broadly and made hour-glass motions with his hands. ‘I’d thought of trading you in on a new model, but Fao Talaho is ho bargain, either – and nobody’s pushover.’

‘Trade! You tomcat I’ Belle’s nostrils flared. ‘You know what that bitch tried to do? High-hat me!’

‘I noticed. When we four get down to business, face to face, there should be some interesting by-products.’

‘You said it, boss. Primes seem to be such nice people.’ James rolled his eyes upward and steepled his hands. ‘If you’ve got all the dope, no use finishing this search pattern.’

‘Go ahead. Window dressing. Their Brass hasn’t any idea of what’s going on, any more than ours did.’

The search went on until:

This is it,’ James reported. ‘Where? Over Margon Base?’

‘Yes. Kick us over there, ten or twelve hundred miles up.’

‘On the way, boss. Looks like your theory is about ripe.’

‘It isn’t much of a theory yet – just that cultural and evolutionary patterns should be more or less homogeneous within galaxies. Until it can explain why so many out-galaxies are just alike it doesn’t amount to much. By the way, I’m glad you people insisted on organization and rank and uniforms. The Brass down there is going to take a certain amount of convincing. Take over, Brownie – this is your dish.’

‘I was afraid of that.’

The others watched Lola drive her probe – a diamond-clear, razor-sharp bolt of thought that no Gunther First could possibly either wield or stop – down into the innermost private office of that immense and far-flung base. Through Lola’s inner eyes they saw a tall, trim, handsome, fiftyish man in a resplendent uniform of purple and gold; they watched her brush aside that officer’s hard-held mental block.

‘I greet you, Supreme Grand Marshal Entlore, Highest Commander of the Armed Forces of Nargoda. This is the

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starship Pleiades, of System Sol, planet Tellus. I am Sol-System Vice-Admiral Lola Montandon. I have with me as guests three of my superior officers of the Galactic Service, including the Galactic Admiral himself. We are making a goodwill tour of the Tellus-type planets of this region of space. I request permission to land and information as to your landing conventions. Tne landing pad – bottom – of the Pleiades is flat; sixty feet wide by one hundred twenty feet long. Area loading is approximately eight tons per square foot. Solid, dry ground is perfectly satisfactory. While we land vertically, with little or no shock impact, I prefer not to risk damaging your pavement.’

They all felt the Marshal’s thoughts race. ‘Starship! Tellus -Sol, that insignificant, type G dwarf! Interstellar travel a commonplace! A ship that size and weight – an organized, uniformed, functioning galaxy-wide navy – and they don’t want to damage my pavement] My God!’

‘Good going, Brownie! Kiss her for me, Jim.’ Garlock flashed the thought.

Entlore, realizing that his every thought was being read, pulled himself together. ‘I admit that I was shocked, Admiral Montandon. But landing – really, I have nothing to do with landings. They are handled by …’

‘I realize that, sir; but you realize that no underling could possibly authorize my landing. That is why I always start at the top. Besides, I do not like to waste time on officers of much lower rank than my own, and’ – Lola allowed a strong tinge of good humor to creep into her thought – ‘the bigger they are, the less apt they are to pass the buck.’

‘You have had experience, I see.’ The marshal laughed. He did have a sense of humor. ‘While landing here is forbidden -top secret, you know – would my refusal mean much to you?’

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