Start by getting rid of whatever resentment you may have. It will do you no good. Instead, remember that no boss is going to be ideal. Work with what you have.
Never forget the power your boss has over you. If you are feeling rebellious, keep in mind that this power does not evaporate even if you quit — your new boss will probably want a reference. So don’t let your differences escalate into open war.
Remember that any blame is probably shared. Think hard about this. Have you done anything to exacerbate the situation? Try to see things from your boss’s point of view. This will enable you to be the problem-solver rather than the problem-starter. Take responsibility for positive change.
Never give into the temptation to say bad things about your boss when he is not around. That kind of talk has a way of getting back. And when it does, there will be a price to pay. You will have lost your boss’s trust.
Keep your boss’s interests in mind at all times. You have nothing to gain by embarrassing him, even if you derive a little malicious satisfaction. If your boss asks you to do something that you know will not work out, make the problem your own. Ensuring that the matter is dealt with satisfactorily will show your responsibility and gain valuable trust.
If your differences come to a head, be proactive. Arrange a talk to air things out. Here’s what to keep in mind.
Keep your differences private. Meet away from your co-workers, either behind closed doors or in a restaurant. If your conflict becomes public, your boss will have no room to back down.
Focus on issues, not personalities. Especially avoid the pronoun “you.” Using “I” should side-step the matter of blame. Try something like “I find it difficult to use my time efficiently when I don’t know what I am going to be doing for the day. I want to get as much done as possible, but it is hard when I am always juggling unexpected tasks.”
Always strive for solutions instead of dwelling on problems. You will give your boss the opportunity to suggest improvements if you ask for advice. Ask, “How can I improve this situation?”
Try to “train” your boss just as he trains you. Provide positive reinforcement. When your boss does something to improve the situation, show your appreciation — and work harder. Things will keep improving.
The final solution, if it is a solution, is to leave. You might try a different division of your company. Or you might quit altogether. Either way, try not to leave on a bad note. If you fault your boss for everything, you’ll look bitter. Stay cool and professional.
Stress Management
Adopting the right attitude can convert a negative stress into a positive one.
HANS SELYE (1907–82), AUSTRIAN-CANADIAN ENDOCRINOLOGIST
As a salesperson, you are under enormous pressure to produce. You are at the beginning of the sales cycle, in the middle if things go wrong, and at the end if expectations are not met. You need to ensure that your stress levels are in check so you can put your best foot forward at all times.
Here are some things you can do to maintain equilibrium.
Take an active approach to stress. Right away, this means that if you can’t do anything to change the situation, don’t stress about it! Does bumper-to-bumper traffic enrage you? If so, you’re getting worked up over nothing. Relax. The same goes for late flights, long line-ups, busy signals, and other things over which you have no control.
Walk away. Go for a walk. If a problem is driving you up the wall, take a moment to cool down and consider what, if anything, is to be done. The problem will seem simpler when you return.
Give yourself a break when things get too demanding. Turn the lights off in your office, or just close your eyes. Better yet, keep an eye-guard handy to shut out the world for a few moments. Imagine a place where you have no choice but to relax: a tropical beach, a quiet cottage afternoon.
Get some shut-eye. A 15-minute nap will put gas in the tank. But don’t sleep much longer than that or you’ll wake up groggy.
Try some meditation techniques to clear your mind. Repeat a mantra in your mind. You will soon feel the immediate demands of the day slipping away.
Indulge yourself a little. Take a long hot bath with some scented oils or soothing salts. Or get a massage. A proper massage will not only invigorate your body, but also clear your mind.
Go for a workout. Exercise will not only allow you to blow off steam, it will keep you feeling good. If you’re fit, you’ll have armor against stress.
Pay attention to what your body is telling you. Are your shoulders cramped? Is your back sore? Are you hunched over your desk? If so, you are an easy victim for stress. Stretch your knotted muscles and your stress will fall away.
Value your friends. A sympathetic listener will help you unburden, see things more clearly. And, perhaps most importantly, allow you to see that your problems are not so huge after all.
Don’t get caught up in a moment of negativity. Take stock. Remember, there are plenty of good things in your life, and lots of people are worse off than you. Balance whatever is bothering you now with all of your blessings. Things aren’t really so bad.
Don’t rely on toxins to soothe you. Sure, a drink or a smoke (or something illegal) may be tempting. And it may improve your mood short-term. But these chemicals are addictive and may make your problems worse. Consider trying herbal and naturopathic products to improve your mood instead.
Is stress keeping you up at night? If so
avoid going to bed late
try drinking camomile tea (or the classic warm milk — it works!)
soak in a hot bath before slipping between cool sheets
Don’t take your troubles to bed with you. If you are angry or hurt, air your problem before you turn in. You’ll sleep better and feel better.
Don’t wear yourself out. The source of your stress may not be the world around you. It could be your own bad habits. Do you
expect perfection consistently?
refuse to delegate responsibility?
withhold trust from those you count on?
assign blame unfairly (to yourself and others)?
find yourself losing your temper?
work yourself to the bone without seeing the results you expect?
If you answered yes to many of these questions, you probably expect too much of yourself and are doomed to frustrate yourself. It is good to be ambitious, but counterproductive and even destructive to set impossible goals and pursue them relentlessly. Take a step back.
I went on a diet, swore off drinking and heavy eating.
In 14 days I had lost exactly two weeks.
JOE E. LEWIS (1902–71), AMERICAN COMEDIAN, ACTOR
Chapter 12: Personal Development
Learning: Getting the Most out of Workshops
Education’s purpose is to replace an empty mind with an open one.
MALCOLM FORBES (1919–90), AMERICAN PUBLISHER
There are many ways to develop yourself: mentoring, peer coaching, workshops, conferences, self-study, to name a few. Whatever combination of strategies you choose, it is always important to bear in mind what constitutes success, particularly in a formalized training situation.
Ultimately, learning is not about what happens in the classroom. It is about how the student’s new skills and knowledge are applied in the real world. Does he or she actually use what has been learned? Does he or she show an increase in performance on the job? This is what learning is all about. Here’s how to ensure that this happens for you:
First, do you actually need formal training, or is there a better way to develop new skills? Consider
learning on the job from a colleague or senior employee
consulting a manual or a self-help book
researching the material on the Internet
learning from developmental software
If you determine that a workshop is the way to go, find out whether your organization offers in-house training. Such training has many benefits:
The material will be tailored to your organization and the learning experience will be shared by people you work with. This will make the new skills much easier to put into practice.
You will have a network of “trouble-shooters” at work with you. Your workday will be an ongoing study group.
You and your company will waste less valuable work time.
If management organizes the workshop, it may be in anticipation of an upcoming challenge. You’ll be prepared for exactly what the company is going to throw at you.
There are also advantages to attending a workshop outside of what your company offers. For example:
You’ll be able to get a broader perspective. Just as an in-house workshop will prepare you for exactly what your company is doing, an outside learning experience will get you up to speed on what everybody else is doing.