I was some months, however, before I resolved upon this; and therefore, as I had rewarded the old captain fully and to satisfaction, who had been my former benefactor, so I began to think of my poor widow, whose husband had been my first benefactor, and she, while it was in her power, my faithful steward and instructor. So the first thing I did, I got a merchant in Lisbon to write to his correspondent in London, not only to pay a bill, but to go find her out, and carry her in money a hundred pounds from me, and to talk with her and comfort her in her poverty by telling her she should, if I lived, have a further supply. At the same time, I sent my two sisters in the country each of them a hundred pounds, they being, though not in want, yet not in very good circumstances; one having been married and left a widow, and the other having a husband not so kind to her as he should be.
But among all my relations and acquaintances, I could not yet pitch upon one to whom I durst commit the gross of my stock, that I might go away to the Brazils and leave things safe behind me.
I had once a mind to go to the Brazils and have settled myself there, for I was, as it were, naturalised to the place; but I had some little scruple in my mind about religion, which insensibly drew me back, of which I shall say more presently. However, it was not religion that kept me from going thither for the present; and as I had no scruple of being openly of the religion of the country all the while I was among them, so neither did I yet; only that now and then having of late thought more of it than formerly, when I began to think of living and dying among them, I began to regret my having professed myself a Papist and thought it might not be the best religion to die in.
But, as I have said, this was not the main thing that kept me from going to the Brazils, but that really I did not know with whom to leave my effects behind me; so I resolved at last, to go to England with them, where, if I arrived, I concluded I should make some acquaintance, or find some relations that would be faithful to me; and accordingly I prepared to go to England with all my wealth.
In order to prepare things for my going home, I first (the Brazil fleet being just going away) resolved to give answers suitable to the just and faithful account of things I had from thence; and first to the Prior of St. Augustine I wrote a letter full of thanks for his just dealings, and the offer of the 872 moidores which was undisposed of, which I desired might be given, 500 to the monastery, and 372 to the poor, as the prior should direct, desiring the good padre’s prayers for me and the like.
I wrote next a letter of thanks to my two trustees, with all the acknowledgment that so much justice and honesty called for; as for sending them any present, they were far above having any occasion for it.
Lastly, I wrote to my partner, acknowledging his industry in improving the plantation, and his integrity in increasing the stock of the works, giving him instructions for his future government of my part according to the powers I had left with my old patron, to whom I desired him to send whatever became due to me till he should hear from me more particularly; assuring him that it was my intention not only to come to him, but to settle myself there for the remainder of my life. To this I added a very handsome present of some Italian silks for his wife and two daughters, for such the captain’s son informed me he had; with two pieces of fine English broad cloth, the best I could get in Lisbon, five pieces of black baize, and some Flanders lace of a good value.