test-mark–by HONOURABLE means. I have finished.”
There is nothing in the world like a persuasive speech to fuddle the
mental apparatus and upset the convictions and debauch the emotions
of an audience not practised in the tricks and delusions of oratory.
Wilson sat down victorious. The house submerged him in tides of
approving applause; friends swarmed to him and shook him by the hand
and congratulated him, and Billson was shouted down and not allowed
to say a word. The Chair hammered and hammered with its gavel, and
kept shouting:
“But let us proceed, gentlemen, let us proceed!”
At last there was a measurable degree of quiet, and the hatter said:
“But what is there to proceed with, sir, but to deliver the money?”
Voices. “That’s it! That’s it! Come forward, Wilson!”
The Hatter. “I move three cheers for Mr. Wilson, Symbol of the
special virtue which–”
The cheers burst forth before he could finish; and in the midst of
them–and in the midst of the clamour of the gavel also–some
enthusiasts mounted Wilson on a big friend’s shoulder and were going
to fetch him in triumph to the platform. The Chair’s voice now rose
above the noise:
“Order! To your places! You forget that there is still a document
to be read.” When quiet had been restored he took up the document,
and was going to read it, but laid it down again saying “I forgot;
this is not to be read until all written communications received by
me have first been read.” He took an envelope out of his pocket,
removed its enclosure, glanced at it–seemed astonished–held it out
and gazed at it–stared at it.
Twenty or thirty voices cried out
“What is it? Read it! read it!”
And he did–slowly, and wondering:
“‘The remark which I made to the stranger–[Voices. “Hello! how’s
this?”]–was this: ‘You are far from being a bad man. [Voices.
“Great Scott!”] Go, and reform.'” [Voice. “Oh, saw my leg off!”]
Signed by Mr. Pinkerton the banker.”
The pandemonium of delight which turned itself loose now was of a
sort to make the judicious weep. Those whose withers were unwrung
laughed till the tears ran down; the reporters, in throes of
laughter, set down disordered pot-hooks which would never in the
world be decipherable; and a sleeping dog jumped up scared out of
its wits, and barked itself crazy at the turmoil. All manner of
cries were scattered through the din: “We’re getting rich–TWO
Symbols of Incorruptibility!–without counting Billson!” “THREE!–
count Shadbelly in–we can’t have too many!” “All right–Billson’s
elected!” “Alas, poor Wilson! victim of TWO thieves!”
A Powerful Voice. “Silence! The Chair’s fished up something more
out of its pocket.”
Voices. “Hurrah! Is it something fresh? Read it! read! read!”
The Chair [reading]. “‘The remark which I made,’ etc. ‘You are far
from being a bad man. Go,’ etc. Signed, ‘Gregory Yates.'”
Tornado of Voices. “Four Symbols!” “‘Rah for Yates!” “Fish
again!”
The house was in a roaring humour now, and ready to get all the fun
out of the occasion that might be in it. Several Nineteeners,
looking pale and distressed, got up and began to work their way
towards the aisles, but a score of shouts went up:
“The doors, the doors–close the doors; no Incorruptible shall leave
this place! Sit down, everybody!” The mandate was obeyed.
“Fish again! Read! read!”
The Chair fished again, and once more the familiar words began to
fall from its lips–“‘You are far from being a bad man–‘”
“Name! name! What’s his name?”
“‘L. Ingoldsby Sargent.'”
“Five elected! Pile up the Symbols! Go on, go on!”
“‘You are far from being a bad–‘”
“Name! name!”
“‘Nicholas Whitworth.'”
“Hooray! hooray! it’s a symbolical day!”
Somebody wailed in, and began to sing this rhyme (leaving out
“it’s”) to the lovely “Mikado” tune of “When a man’s afraid of a
beautiful maid;” the audience joined in, with joy; then, just in
time, somebody contributed another line –
“And don’t you this forget–”
The house roared it out. A third line was at once furnished –
“Corruptibles far from Hadleyburg are–”
The house roared that one too. As the last note died, Jack
Halliday’s voice rose high and clear, freighted with a final line –