“I don’t care.”
“You have to care. I want you to have a wonderful future, and that can’t happen without an education. Mr. Henry is giving you a break, but—”
“Fuck him.”
“Kemal!” Without thinking, Dana slapped him across the face. She was instantly sorry. Kemal stared at her, a look of disbelief on his face, got up, ran into the study, and slammed the door shut.
The telephone rang. Dana picked it up. It was Jeff. “Dana—”
“Darling, I—I can’t talk right now. I’m too upset.”
“What happened?”
“It’s Kemal. He’s impossible!”
“Dana…”
“Yes?”
“Walk in his shoes.”
“What?”
“Think about it. Sorry, I’m on a deadline. Love you, and we’ll talk later.”
Walk in his shoes? That doesn’t make any sense, Dana thought. How can I know what Kemal is feeling? I’m not a twelve-year-old war orphan with one arm who’s gone through what he’s gone through. Dana sat there for a long time, thinking. Walk in his shoes. She rose, went into her bedroom, closed the door, and opened her closet door. Before Kemal had arrived, Jeff had spent several nights a week at the apartment and had left some of his clothes there. In the closet were pants, shirts and ties, a sweater, and a sports jacket.
Dana took out some of the clothes and placed them on the bed. She went to a bureau drawer and removed a pair of Jeff’s Jockey shorts and socks. Then Dana got completely undressed. She picked up Jeff’s Jockey shorts with her left hand and started putting them on. She lost her balance and fell. It took her two more attempts before she could get them on. Next, she picked up one of Jeff’s shirts. Using only her left hand, it took three frustrating minutes to slip into it and button it. She had to sit on the bed to don the trousers, and they were difficult to zip up. It took another two minutes to put on Jeff’s sweater.
When Dana was finally dressed, she sat down to catch her breath. This was what Kemal had to go through every morning. And that was only the beginning. He had to bathe and brush his teeth and comb his hair. And that was now. What about the past? Living in the horror of war, watching his mother, father, sister, and friends murdered.
Jeff’s right, she thought. I’m expecting too much too soon. He needs more time to adjust. I could never give up on him. My father abandoned my mother and me and I’ve never really forgiven him for that. There should be an eleventh commandment: Thou shalt not abandon those who love you.
Slowly, as Dana got dressed in her own clothes, she thought about the lyrics of the songs that Kemal listened to over and over again. The CDs of Britney Spears, the Backstreet Boys, Limp Bizkit. “Don’t want to lose you,” “I need you tonight,” “As long as you love me,” “I just want to be with you,” “I need love.”
All the lyrics were about loneliness and wanting.
Dana picked up Kemal’s report card. It was true that he was failing in most of his classes, but he had an A in math. It’s the A that’s important, Dana thought. That’s where he excels. That’s where he has a future. We’ll work on the other grades.
When Dana opened the door to the study, Kemal was in bed, with his eyes tightly closed and his pale face stained with tears. Dana looked at him a moment, then leaned over and kissed him on the cheek. “I’m so sorry, Kemal,” she whispered. “Forgive me.”
Tomorrow will be a better day.
Early the following morning Dana took Kemal to a prominent orthopedic surgeon, Dr. William Wilcox. After the examination, Dr. Wilcox talked to Dana alone.
“Miss Evans, to fit him with a prosthesis would cost twenty thousand dollars and there’s a problem here. Kemal is only twelve years old. His body will keep growing until he’s seventeen or eighteen. He could outgrow the prosthesis every few months. I’m afraid financially it’s not practical.”
Dana had a sinking feeling. “I see. Thank you, Doctor.”
Outside, Dana said to Kemal, “Don’t worry, darling. We’ll find a way.”