To her mother, Del said, ‘Tommy suffers from an excess of scepticism. For instance, he doesn’t believe in alien abductions.’
‘They’re real’ Mrs. Payne assured Tommy with a smile, as though her confirmation of Del’s stranger beliefs was all that he needed to embrace them himself.
‘He doesn’t believe in ghosts,’ Del said.
‘Real’ said Mrs. Payne.
‘Or lycanthropy.’
‘Real.’
‘Or remote viewing.’
‘Real.’
Listening to them made Tommy dizzy. He closed his eyes.
‘Though he does believe in Big Foot,’ Del said teasingly.
‘How odd,’ said Mrs. Payne.
‘I do not believe in Big Foot,’ Tommy corrected.
He could hear the devilment in Del’s voice as she said, ‘Well, that’s not what you said earlier.’
‘Big Foot,’ said Julia Rosalyn Winona Lilith Payne, ‘is nothing but tabloid trash.’
‘Exactly,’ said Del.
Tommy had to open his eyes to accept a cup of coffee from the apparently imperturbable Mummingford.
From the old-looking radio on the faux-ivory coffee table came an announcer’s voice identifying the broadcast as originating live from the fabulous Empire Ballroom, where ‘Glenn Miller and his big band bring the stars out when they play,’ followed by a commercial for Lucky Strike cigarettes.
Del said, ‘If Tommy can stay alive until dawn, then the curse fails, and he’s okay. Or at least that’s what we think.’
‘Little more than an hour and a half,’ said Mrs. Payne. ‘What do you suppose are his chances of making it?’
‘Sixty-forty,’ Del said.
Flustered, Tommy said, ‘What? Sixty-forty?’
‘Well,’ Del said, ‘that’s my honest assessment.’
‘Which is the sixty? Sixty percent chance that I’ll be killed or sixty percent chance that I’ll live?’
‘That you’ll live,’ Del said brightly.
‘I’m not comforted.’
‘Yes, but we’re steadily improving those odds by the minute, sweetheart.’
‘It’s still not good,’ said Mrs. Payne.
‘It’s terrible,’ Tommy said, distressed.
‘It’s just a hunch,’ Del ventured, ‘but I don’t think Tommy is scheduled for unnatural extraction. He feels as if he has a full-life destiny with a natural departure.’
Tommy had no idea what she was talking about. Addressing him in a reassuring tone, Mrs. Payne said, ‘Well, Tommy dear, even if the worst were to happen, death isn’t final. It’s only a transitional phase.’
‘You’re sure of that, are you?’
‘Oh, yes. I talk to Ned more nights than not.’
‘Who?’
‘Daddy,’ Del clarified.
‘He appears on the David Letterman show,’ Mrs. Payne said.
Mummingford passed a silver tray of pastries to Del first, who took a plump cinnamon-pecan roll, and then to Tommy.
Although Tommy initially selected a sensible bran muffin, he reconsidered and asked for a chocolate croissant. If he only had an hour and a half to live, worrying about his cholesterol level seemed pointless.
As Mummingford used pastry tongs to transfer the croissant to a plate, Tommy asked Del’s mother for a clarification: ‘Your late husband appears on the David Letterman show?’
‘It’s a late-night talk show.’
‘Yes, I know.’
‘Sometimes David announces a guest, but instead of the movie star or singer or whoever it’s supposed to be, my Ned comes out and sits in the guest chair. Then the whole program freezes, as if time has stopped – David and the audience and the band all frozen in place – and Ned talks to me.’
Tommy tasted his chocolate croissant. It was delicious. ‘Of course,’ said Mrs. Payne, ‘this appears only on my personal TV, not all over the country. I’m the only one who sees Ned.’
With a mouthful of croissant, Tommy nodded.
Del’s mother said, ‘Ned always had style. He’d never settle for contacting me through a fake Gypsy medium at a séance or through a Ouija board, nothing as trite and tacky as that.’
Tommy tried the coffee. It was lightly flavoured with vanilla. Excellent.
‘Oh, Mummingford,’ Del said, ‘I almost forgot- there’s a stolen Ferrari in the driveway.’
‘What would you like done with it, Miss Payne?’
‘Could you have it returned to Balboa Island within the hour? I can tell you exactly where it was parked.’
‘Yes, Miss Payne. I’ll just refresh everyone’s coffee and then attend to it.’
As Del’s mother began feeding pieces of a cruller to Scootie, she said, ‘What vehicle would you like brought up from the garage, Del?’