“Think. You have readiness to fare west, and a welcome awaiting you among the Visigoths. It will be the warmer for the rout Athanaric suffered this year from the Huns at the River Dnestr; they all need fresh and hopeful souls. Within a few days, you can be leading the trek. Ermanaric’s men, when they come, will find nothing but the ashes of this hall, which you set afire to keep from him and be a balefire in honor of your brothers.
“You will not be fleeing. No, you will be off to forge a mighty morrow. Alawin, you now keep the blood of your fathers. Ward it well.”
Wrath twisted Ulrica’s face. “Yes, you’ve always dealt in smooth words,” shuddered out of her. “Heed not his slyness, Alawin. Hold fast. Avenge my sons – the sons of Tharasmund.”
The youth swallowed hard. “Would you really… have me go… while the murderer of Swanhild, Randwar, Hathawulf, Solbern – while he lives?” he stammered.
“You must not stay,” said the Wanderer gravely. “If you do, you will give up the last life that was in your father -give it up to the king, along with Hathawulf’s son and wife, and your own mother. There is no dishonor -in withdrawal when outnumbered.”
“Y-yes…. I could hire a Visigothic host – ”
“You will have no call to. Hearken. Within three years, you will hear word about Ermanaric that will gladden you. The justice of the gods shall fall upon him. On this I give you my oath.”
“What is that worth?” fleered Ulrica.
Alawin filled his lungs, straightened his shoulders, stood for a while and then said quietly, “Stepmother, be still. I am the man of the house. We will follow the Wanderer’s rede.”
The boy in him burst through for a moment: “Oh, but lord, forebear – will we indeed never see you again? Do not forsake us!”
“I must,” answered the Gray One. “It is needful for you.” Suddenly: “Yes, best I go at once. Farewell. Fare ever well.”
He strode through the shadows, out the door, into the rain and the wind.
43
Here and there amidst the ages, the Time Patrol keeps places where its members may rest. Among them is Hawaii before the Polynesians arrived. Although that resort exists through thousands of years, Laurie and I counted ourselves lucky to get a cottage for a month. In fact, we suspected Manse Everard had pulled a string or two on our behalf.
He made no mention of that when he visited us late in our stay. He was simply affable, went picnicking and surfing in our company, afterward tucked into Laurie’s dinner with the gusto it deserved. Not till later did he speak of what lay behind us and before us on our world lines.
We sat on a deck which abutted the building.
Dusk gathered cool and blue in the garden, across the flowering forest beyond. Eastward, land dropped steeply to where the sea glimmered quicksilver; westward, the evening star trembled above Mauna Kea. A brook chimed. Here was the peace that heals.
“So you feel ready to return?” Everard inquired.
“Yes,” I said. “And it’ll be a lot easier, too. The groundwork has been laid, the basic information collected and assimilated. I just have to record the songs and stories as they are composed and evolve.”
“Just!” exclaimed Laurie. Her mockery was tender, and became solace as she laid a hand over mine. “Well, at least you are free of your grief.”
Everard’s voice dropped low: “Are you sure of that, Carl?”
I could be calm as I replied, “Yes. Oh, there will always be memories that hurt, but isn’t that the common fate of man? There are more that are good, and I’m able to draw on them once again.”
“You realize, of course, you mustn’t get obsessed the way you were. That’s a hazard which claims many of us -” Did his tone stumble, ever so slightly? It grew brisk. “When it does, the victim has to overcome it and recover.”
“I know,” I said, and chuckled a bit. “Don’t you know I know?”
Everard puffed on his pipe. “Not exactly. Since the rest of your career seems free of any more disarray than is normal for a field agent, I couldn’t justify spending lifespan and Patrol resources on further investigation. This isn’t official business. I’m here as a friend, who’d simply like to find out how you’re doing. Don’t tell me anything you don’t care to.”