He shrugged. “I don’t know what to tell you about being in danger, Nest. I don’t feel as if I’m in any danger. I’m not part of that life anymore. I don’t have any connection to what I was or did. I don’t even dream anymore-or hardly ever, anyway. It’s all in the past.”
The fish and chips arrived, and they paused while the waitress set down their plates, asked if there was anything else she could get them, and walked away. Nest picked up a piece of deep-fried halibut and bit into it. “Mmmmnm, this is wonderful,” she said.
“Told you.” He picked up a piece of his own fish and began eating.
Ariel said the Lady thinks the Void will try to subvert you, whether or not you think you’re still involved in its battle with the Word.” Nest studied his face. “She says you can’t stop being a Knight of the Word. She says you can’t quit unless the Ward allows it.”
He nodded soberly. “I’ve heard it all before. I don’t thank T believe it. What have I been doing for the past year if she’s right? Haven’t I quit, if I haven’t served.” What else do I have to do? “Write a letter of resignation? I don’t dream, I don’t use the magic, I don’t go out looking for demons. I’m done with all of it.”
“She says you can’t ever be done with it.” Nest paused, moving a French fry around in a paper cup filled with ketchup. “Here’s the part that bothers me-the reason I came looking for you, I guess. She says you’ve had a dream, and the events of the dream will take place on Halloween. She says your involvement with the dream will place you in danger of becoming ensnared by the Void.”
She watched his reaction closely. He said nothing, but she could tell at once that he knew what she was talking about, that in fact there had been a dream, and that in some way he was a part of it.
“The Lady told Ariel something else, John. She told her she will never let that happen, she will never allow a Knight of the Word to be subverted. She has sent someone to prevent it.”
A flicker of recognition crossed his lean face.
“The way you were sent to me maybe, five years ago.” she finished quietly.
For an instant she thought he would tell her everything. She could see in his eyes that he wanted to, that a part of him was looking for a way. But he stayed silent. She watched him a moment longer, then went back to eating. The voices around them filled the sudden silence.
“She told you all this?” His anger was faced with irony. “When I went back to Wales and the Fairy Glen to ask her to release me from my duty, she wouldn’t even speak to me.”
Nest said nothing, didn’t even look up at him, continuing to eat.
“All the times I waited for her to come to me, to tell roe what I had to d4, to help me . . .” He trailed off, staring fixedly at her. “Nothing is going to happen,” he said finally.
She nodded. “But you know about the dream, don’t you?”
“It’s only a dream. It won’t happen. It can’t happen, because I won’t let it.”
She straightened and locked her eves on his. “You taught me about being strong, John. I learned that from you in Hopewell. But I learned about caution, as well. You don’t seem cautious enough to me- You think you can’t be hurt, no matter what, unless you do something to invite it.. But I don’t think that’s how life works.”
“I think I can control what I do.” he snapped. “That’s all I’m saying.”
She shook her head. “What if Stefanie’s life is threatened, and you have to choose between doing what the Void wants air letting her die? What will you do? If you lave her as much as you say, what will you do? l don’t think you can just shrug this off. Pushing back his lunch, he shook his head emphatically. “I’m not shrugging anything off. I’m not taking this lightly. But there’s no reason for the Void to try to subvert me. I’m worthless. I have nothing left to give. I gave up everything already.”