Rebecca asks, “Where’d you learn to dance like this?”
“My brother and I, we were town boys. Learned how to dance in front of the jukebox at Alouette’s, over by Arden.” Rebecca knows Alouette’s, on Arden’s Main Street, but what was once a soda fountain is now a lunch counter, and the jukebox disappeared around the time Johnny Mathis dropped off the charts. “You want a good dancer, you find yourself a town boy. Tom Tom, now he was always the slickest dancer around, and you can plunk him in that chair, but you can’t take away his rhythm.”
“Mr. Stan, yoo-hoo, Mr. Stan?” Alice Weathers has tilted her head and cupped her hands around her mouth. “Do you take requests?”
A voice as flat and hard as the sound of two stones grinding together says, “I was here first, old woman.”
This implacable rudeness brings Rebecca to a halt. Hermie’s right foot comes gently down atop her left, then swiftly moves off, doing her no more injury than a kiss. Towering over Alice, Charles Burnside glares at Thorvald Thorvaldson. Thorvaldson steps back and tugs at Alice’s hand.
“Certainly, my dear,” says Stan, bending down. “Tell me your name and what you’d like to hear.”
“I am Alice Weathers, and—”
“I was here first,” Burny loudly repeats.
Rebecca glances at Hermie, who shakes his head and makes a sour face. Town boy or not, he is as intimidated as Mr. Thorvaldson.
“ ‘Moonglow,’ please. By Benny Goodman.”
“It’s my turn, you jackass. I want that Woody Herman number called ‘Lady Magowan’s Nightmare.’ That one’s good.”
Hermie leans toward Rebecca’s ear. “Nobody likes that fella, but he gets his own way.”
“Not this time,” Rebecca says. “Mr. Burnside, I want you to—”
Symphonic Stan silences her with a wave of his hand. He turns to face the owner of the remarkably unpleasant voice. “No can do, mister. The song is called ‘Lady Magowan’s Dream,’ and I didn’t bring that snappy little item with me this afternoon, sorry.”
“Okay, bud, how about ‘I Can’t Get Started,’ the one Bunny Berigan did?”
“Oh, I love that,” Alice says. “Yes, play ‘I Can’t Get Started.’ ”
“Happy to oblige,” Stan says in Henry Leyden’s normal voice. Without bothering to jive around or spin the records on his hands, he simply exchanges the LP on the turntable for one from the first box. He seems oddly wilted as he steps to the mike and says, “I’ve flown around the world on a plane, I settled revolutions in Spain. Can’t get started. Dedicated to the lovely Alice Blue Gown and the One Who Walks by Night.”
“You’re no better’n a monkey on a stick,” says Burny.
The music begins. Rebecca taps Hermie on the arm and moves up alongside Charles Burnside, for whom she has never felt anything but mild revulsion. Now that she has him in focus, her outrage and disgust cause her to say, “Mr. Burnside, you are going to apologize to Alice and to our guest here. You’re a crude, obnoxious bully, and after you apologize, I want you to get back into your room, where you belong.”
Her words have no effect. Burnside’s shoulders have slumped. He has a wide, sloppy grin on his face, and he is staring empty-eyed at nothing in particular. He looks too far gone to remember his own name, much less Bunny Berigan’s. In any case, Alice Weathers has danced away, and Symphonic Stan, back at the far end of the platform and out of the pink spot, appears to be deep in thought. The elderly couples sway back and forth on the dance floor. Off to the side, Hermie Boettcher pantomimes dancing and quizzes her with a look.
“I’m sorry about that,” she says to Stan/Henry.
“No need to apologize. ‘I Can’t Get Started’ was my wife’s favorite record. I’ve been thinking about her a lot, the past few days. Sort of took me by surprise.” He runs a hand over his sleek hair and shakes out his arms, visibly getting back into his role.
Rebecca decides to leave him alone. In fact, she wants to leave everyone alone for a little while. Signaling regret and the press of duty to Hermie, she makes her way through the crowd and exits the common room. Somehow, old Burny has beaten her to the corridor. He shuffles absently toward Daisy wing, head drooping, feet scuffing the floor.
“Mr. Burnside,” she says, “your act may fool everyone else, but I want you to know that it doesn’t fool me.”
Moving by increments, the old man turns around. First one foot shifts, then a knee, the spavined waist, the second foot, finally the cadaverous trunk. The ugly bloom of Burny’s head droops on its thin stalk, offering Rebecca a view of his mottled scalp. His long nose protrudes like a warped rudder. With the same dreadful slowness, his head lifts to reveal muddy eyes and a slack mouth. A flash of sheer vindictiveness rises into the dull eyes, and the dead lips writhe.
Frightened, Rebecca takes an instinctive step backward. Burny’s mouth has moved all the way into a horrible grin. Rebecca wants to escape, but anger at having been humiliated by this miserable jerk lets her hold her ground.
“Lady Magowan had a bad, bad nightmare,” Burny informs her. He sounds drugged, or half asleep. “And Lady Sophie had a nightmare. Only hers was worse.” He giggles. “The king was in his countinghouse, counting out his honeys. That’s what Sophie saw when she fell asleep.” His giggling rises in pitch, and he says something that might be “Mr. Munching.” His lips flap, revealing yellow, irregular teeth, and his sunken face undergoes a subtle change. A new kind of intelligence seems to sharpen his features. “Does you know Mr. Munshun? Mr. Munshun and his li’l friend Gorg? Does you know what happened in Chicago?”
“Stop this right now, Mr. Burnside.”
“Duz you know uff Fridz Haarman, him who wazz zo loff-ly? Dey called him, dey called him, dey called him ‘da Vamp, Vamp, Vamp of Hanover,’ yez dey dud, dud, dud. Evveybuddy, evveybuddy, evveybuddy haz godz nide-marez all da dime, dime, dime, ha ha ho ho.”
“Stop talking like that!” Rebecca shouts. “You’re not fooling me!”
For a moment, the new intelligence flares within Burny’s dim eyes. It almost instantly retreats. He licks his lips and says, “Way-gup, Burn-Burn.”
“Whatever,” Rebecca says. “Dinner is downstairs at seven, if you want it. Go take a nap or something, will you?”
Burny gives her a peeved, murky look and plops a foot down on the floor, beginning the tedious process that will turn him around again. “You could write it down. Fritz Haarman. In Hanover.” His mouth twists into a smile of unsettling slyness. “When the king comes here, maybe we can dance together.”
“No, thanks.” Rebecca turns her back on the old horror and clacks down the hallway on her high heels, uncomfortably aware of his eyes following her.
Rebecca’s nice little Coach handbag lies flat on her desk in the windowless vestibule to Chipper’s office. Before going in, she pauses to rip off a sheet of notepaper, write down Fritz Harmann(?), Hanover(?), and slip the paper into the bag’s central compartment. It might be nothing—it probably is—but who knows? She is furious that she let Burnside frighten her, and if she can find a way to use his nonsense against him, she will do her best to expel him from Maxton’s.
“Kiddo, is that you?” Chipper calls out.
“No, it’s Lady Magowan and her freakin’ nightmare.” She strides into Chipper’s office and finds him behind his desk, happily counting out the bills contributed that afternoon by the sons and daughters of his clientele.
“My li’l Becky looks all ticked off,” he says. “What happened, one of our zombies stomp on your foot?”
“Don’t call me Becky.”
“Hey, hey, cheer up. You won’t believe how much your silver-tongued boyfriend conned out of the relatives today. A hundred and twenty-six smackers! Free money! Okay, what went wrong, anyhow?”
“Charles Burnside spooked me, that’s what. He ought to be in a mental hospital.”
“Are you kidding? That particular zombie is worth his weight in gold. As long as Charles Burnside can draw breath into his body, he will always have a place in my heart.” Grinning, he brandishes a handful of bills. “And if you have a place in my heart, honey-baby, you’ll always have a place at Maxton’s.”
The memory of Burnside saying, The king was in his countinghouse, counting out his honeys makes her feel unclean. If Chipper were not grinning in that exultant, loose-lipped way, Rebecca supposes, he would not remind her so unpleasantly of his favorite resident. Evveybuddy haz godz nide-marez all da dime, dime, dime—that wasn’t a bad description of the Fisherman’s French Landing. Funny, you wouldn’t think Old Burny would take more notice of those murders than Chipper. Rebecca had never heard him mention the Fisherman’s crimes, apart from the time he groused that he would not be able to tell anyone he was going fishing until Dale Gilbertson finally got off his big fat butt, and what kind of crappy deal was that?