“Please, sir, please!” The innkeeper pulled on Cara-mon’s arm, attempting to tug him out the door.
The fighter came to a dead standstill and looked the proprietor directly in the eye. “Don’t let anything disturb my brother, understand?” He held a thick finger in front of the proprietor’s face for emphasis.
“Of course not,” the innkeeper said, swallowing hard. “Now would you please come reason with your friend, sir?”
“Reason? With a kender? That’ll be a first!” the warrior muttered under his breath, closing the door softly behind him.
Caramon walked into the room, and his eyes widened in disbelief. Earwig stood on a small oaken table in the corner of the dining hall, hoopak in his hand, threatening the staff of the inn. Something white and frilly was on his head.
One of the cooks, a large portly man, brandished a huge butcher knife. “I’ll chop off your ears!” he threatened, advancing on the kender.
“Cut out my eyes, too,” taunted the kender. “Then I won’t have to look at your ugly face!” Thwop! The hoopak flew out and slapped the man on the nose.
“Come on! Who’s next? I’m the mighty warrior, Earwig Lockpicker!” He waved his staff in a wide arc as others attempted to approach. “Admired by men! Beloved by women!”
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Heaving a sigh, Caramon moved forward. Seeing his friend, Earwig warned, “Stay away from me, sir. I’m in the throes of the famous Kender Berzerkergang, which has not been seen on Krynn for hundreds of years!”
Caramon grabbed the staff as it arced toward his head, the wood making a loud slap on his palm that caused many in the room to wince in sympathetic pain.
“That’s enough. Earwig.” The warrior wrenched the hoopak from the kender’s hand.
“Draw your sword, Caramon! Cut them down!” Earwig shrieked, jumping from the table. ‘They attacked me!”
“Attacked you?” Caramon stared at the kender. “What in the name of the Abyss is that on your head?”
Earwig’s face went from righteous anger to bland innocence in less time than it takes to tell it. “It’s my hair, Caramon.”
The warrior eyed the lacy headpiece wrapped around the kender’s topknot. The headpiece looked familiar. It
was—
“A garter!” the fighter said suddenly. Caramon’s face flushed deep crimson. Reaching out, he snatched the piece of feminine underclothing from the kender’s head. “I’ve heard of kender swiping lots of things!” he hissed into Earwig’s ear, shaking the kender until his teeth rattled. “But how did you manage to steal this?”
“The problem, sir,” the innkeeper spoke, stepping from the doorway where he had waited until the battle was over, “is that this . . . person . . . attempted to … to steal—”
“Steal!” Earwig’s eyes widened in indignation. “A kender . . . steal?” He could barely speak for the injustice of the accusation.
“Sir,” the proprietor continued. “A young lady was sitting down to breakfast when this person … uh …”
Ignoring the flustered innkeeper, Caramon gazed sternly at Earwig. “What happened?” he asked with a
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sigh, knowing that he was in for a long and convoluted explanation.
“Well, last night I went to pick up Raistlin’s staff that he left in the street, only when I reached out to grab it, the staff disappeared. I thought I’d better go look for it— you know, Caramon, how much your brother thinks of that staff. Well, anyway, I went back out — ”
“I locked you in your room!” thundered the innkeeper. “Councillor Shavas wouldn’t want him walking around town after dark,” he added hastily, for Caramon’s benefit. “The little fellow might get hurt.”
“Hunh,” grunted Caramon, frowning.
“Well, anyway,” continued Earwig, deciding magnanimously to overlook being called “little fellow,” “I walked around the town, and I saw a lot of cats, and I found this bar that looked like fun. And it was! A man there tried to kill me, Caramon! With a knife! What do you think of that? I fought him off. Thwack! Over the head with my hoopak. Then the most beautiful girl I ever saw in my life kissed me on the cheek. Just as if I’d been you, Caramon! By then I was getting kind of tired, so I came back here and found all these game pieces lying on the ground, so I picked them up and climbed back up the trellis and in through the window — “