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about you. I don’t even know my own body anymore. I like sex, Rio, but I’m not driven by sex. I’m a thinking person. I like to think about things from every angle. When I’m with you, tike this, I disappear completely and there’s only how it feels. How you feel.”
He pulled her to him, pillowing her head on his shoulder when she wanted to hold herself stiffly away. “How we feel together, Rachael. It’s being one person, in the same skin, our minds in the same place. It’s how we are together. Why would you be afraid of that?”
“I can’t fall in love with you, Rio, and you can’t love me. If we just wanted to have sex and it was pleasant or even fireworks, it would be fine, but this is different. It’s so much more. It’s like an addiction. Not to the sex, that’s only a small part of it. I feel like I have to be with you. That you’re in some way essential to my life, to my reason for existing.” She shoved her hand through her hah-, lifted her head from his shoulder and glared at him. “I wish it was a past life that makes me want you so much, but I can’t even blame it on that. Love shouldn’t be so all-consuming. I’m not an all-consuming person. I’m not.”
“Are you trying to convince me or yourself? I never thought about loving someone, Rachael. I wish I could tell you how I know we’re destined to be together, it sounds so stupid even when I say it to myself, but I know we’re meant to be man and wife. I can’t imagine waking up in the morning and not having you beside me. Hell, I don’t even have all that much to offer you. I have a risky job, a people who won’t welcome me into their village, let alone their lives, and that would certainly spill over to you and our children, but it doesn’t matter. I know I have to find a way to make it worth it to you to stay with me.”
“Are you even listening to me? Does any of this make sense to you? Because it doesn’t make a bit of sense to me. What do you know about me other than I have a million-dollar price on my head? And some leopard man is running around trying to kill me. And I may or may not be part of a
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species I didn’t know existed until a couple of days ago. That’s it. That’s what you know, yet you’re ready to spend your life with me. Is that normal, Rio? Do you think people really react that way?”
“What’s normal, sestrilla, and why does there even have to be a normal for us? If you aren’t one of my people I still want to share your life.” He touched her tear-wet face. “This should never happen, not because you think you’re falling in love with me.”
“Don’t sound happy about it, Rio. Do you think it’s going to end happily? How can it? They won’t stop with one killer. They’ll send another and another until one of them kills you or me or both of us.”
He kissed her. It was the only thing he could think to do, tasting her tears, feeling her terror. Not for herself but for him. She melted into him the way he was coming to know, every bit as hungry as he was. Feeding on his mouth. Committing to him with her body when she wasn’t ready to do so with words. And that was all right with him. He tasted her complete acceptance of him. Felt it hi her response. She simply surrendered everything she was into his keeping and just as wholly made her own demands.
Rachael leaned her head against his chest with a small sigh. “I’m not going to think about it anymore, Rio. Let’s just see where it all takes us.” She rubbed his jaw with the heel of her hand. “Did you find him?”
“He was not from our area. I’m guessing South America. He was definitely one of our species. Have you ever been to South America, Rachael?”