“No that’s fine.”
“I knew who you were and that threw me off — ”
“Dempsey.”
” — a little. I’m sorry.”
“Dempsey.”
“Yes. Well, we’ve got the X-ray results back and … I’m afraid the news isn’t very good.”
“Why not? What’s wrong with him?”
“He is riddled with cancer.”
Todd took a long moment to digest this unwelcome news. Then he said: “That’s impossible.”
“It’s in his spine. It’s in his colon — ”
“But that can’t be.”
“And it’s now spreading to his brain, which is why we’ve only just discovered it. These motor and perception problems he’s having are all part of the same thing. The tumor’s spreading into his skull, and pushing on his brain.”
“Oh God.”
“So … I don’t know what you want to do.”
“I want this not to be happening.”
“Well yes. But I’m afraid it is.”
“How long has he got?”
“His present condition is really as good as things are going to get for him.” She spoke as though she was reading the words from an idiot-board, careful to leave exactly the same amount of space between each one. “All that is really at issue is how quickly Dempsey becomes incapacitated.”
Todd looked through the open door at the pitiful shape shuddering beneath the quilt. It was obvious that Dempsey had already reached that point. Todd could be absurdly optimistic at times, but this wasn’t one of them.
“Is he in pain?” he asked the doctor.
“Well, I’d say it’s not so much pain we’re dealing with as anxiety. He doesn’t know what’s happening to him. And he doesn’t know why it’s happening. He’s just suffering, Mr. Pickett. And it’s just going to get worse.”
“So you’re saying I should have him put down?”
“It’s not my place to tell you what to do with your dog, Mr. Pickett.”
“But if he was your dog.”
“If he was my dog, and I loved him as you obviously love Dempsey, I wouldn’t want him suffering … Mr. Pickett, are you there?”
“Here,” Todd said, trying to keep the sound of tears out of his voice.
“So really it’s up to you.”
Todd looked at Dempsey again, who was making a mournful sound in his sleep.
“If I bring him back over to the hospital?”
“Yes?”
“Would there be somebody there to put him to sleep?”
“Yes, of course. I’ll be here.”
“Then that’s what I want to do.”
“I’m so very sorry, Mr. Pickett.”
“It’s not your fault.”
Dempsey roused himself a little when Todd went back to bed, but it was barely more than a sniff and a half-hearted wag.
“Come on, you,” he said, wrapping Dempsey tightly in the quilt, and lifting him up, “the sooner this is done the sooner you’re not an unhappy hound. Will you drive, Marco?”
It was four-thirty in the afternoon, and though the drizzle had ceased, die traffic was still horrendous. It took them fifty-five minutes to get down to the hospital, but this time — perhaps to make up for her unavailability the last time he’d been there — Doctor Otis was at the counter waiting for him. She opened the side door, to let him into die non-public area.
“You want me to come in, boss?” Marco asked.
“Nah, it’s okay. We’ll be fine.”
“He looks really out of it,” the doctor remarked.
Dempsey had barely opened his eyes at the sound of Todd’s voice. “You know, I realize this may seem like a strange thing to say, but in a way we’re lucky that this caught him so fast. With some dogs it takes weeks and months … ”
“In here?” Todd said.
“Yes.”
The doctor had opened a door into a room not more than eight by eight, painted in what was intended to be a soothing green. On one wall was a Monet reproduction and on another a piece of poetry that Todd couldn’t read through his assembling tears.
“I’ll just give you two some time,” Doctor Otis said. “I’ll be back in a few minutes.”
Todd sat down with Dempsey in his arms. “Damn,” he said softly. “This isn’t fair.”
Dempsey had opened his eyes fully for the first time in several hours, probably because he’d heard the sound of Todd crying, which had always made him very attentive, even if the crying was fake. Todd could be rehearsing a sad scene from a picture, memorizing lines, and as soon as the first note of sadness crept into his voice Dempsey would be there, his paws on Todd’s knees, ready to give comfort. But this time the animal didn’t have the strength to help make the boss feel better. All he could do was stare up at Todd with a slight look of puzzlement on his face.