Dark Fire by Christine Feehan. Dark Series – book 6

“I would very much like to butt Barack in the head,” Syndil said. “You should hear him. He thinks he can just start ordering me around because he was an idiot and tied us together.”

Desari laughed softly. “He could not tie you together if you were not true lifemates, Syndil. You know that very well.”

“I know he has spent centuries bedding women. Who would want him?” Moodily she flung her other shoe at the door, wishing the wooden panel was his head. “And you should hear him go on about my flirting and about men wanting me. I tell you, Desari, he can fling himself into the lake.”

“He has not made his ultimate claim,” Desari observed. If Barack had made love to Syndil, all of them would have known immediately, as they had with Darius staking his claim on Tempest.

“I refused him.” Syndil looked down at her hands, sudden tears welling up. “He has been with so many. I have only had Savon, and that was rape. It was horrible, and it hurt. I could not take the chance. I almost wanted to, but I didn’t dare. If I couldn’t make myself accept him in that way…”

Desari circled her shoulders, pulling her close. “Oh, Syndil, it would not be like that. You should have shared your fears with Barack.”

Syndil shook her head in agitation. “I cannot. I closed my mind to him.”

Tempest laced her fingers with Syndil’s. “Savon committed a violent crime against you, Syndil. When you’re with someone who loves you, he takes great care to ensure your pleasure above all else. If Barack does love you and wants to be with you always, he would treat you gently.”

“What if I did not please him? What if I cannot do as he wishes? I think about it, wanting him, but then the memories come, and I don’t think I could take his hands or his body on me,” Syndil explained miserably. She sounded as if her heart was breaking.

Desari stroked her hair. “A lifemate dwells in the mind as well as the heart and soul. He would see to your needs, help you overcome your fears. You must give yourself a chance at happiness, Syndil. What Savon did should not be allowed to destroy your life as well as Barack’s. Remember, what happens to you, happens to him.”

“Why do they have to make it so damned hard on us?” Tempest asked. “They act as if we should be in a convent when we’re not with them.”

“They have the old values, Rusti,” Desari said. “After all, they were born centuries ago. And there are so few Carpathian women. You cannot really blame them for wanting to protect us.”

“I’ll never fit in,” Tempest said sadly. “Even if I convince Darius to convert me, I know I’ll never be able to take the way he tells me what to do.” Her feelings for Darius were growing at an alarming rate, winding deep into her heart and soul so that she had to see him with all his dark memories, had to see him for the man he truly was. She needed to love him and protect him in the same way he needed to love and protect her.

Syndil and Desari exchanged a long look. “You asked Darius to convert you?” Desari asked, shocked.

Tempest shrugged. “He won’t do it. He says it’s too dangerous. Is it? Does anyone know?”

“I asked Julian,” Desari said eagerly. “He said that you must have some psychic ability. Otherwise, as a human, you could not be Darius’s lifemate. And believe me, Rusti, it is rather obvious you are his true lifemate. I have never seen my brother like this.”

“I don’t have any psychic ability,” Tempest protested, looking confused. “I really don’t.”

“Of course you do,” Syndil said. “You communicate with animals.”

“Oh, that.” Tempest shrugged. “That’s not anything special.”

“It is what enables you to understand Darius’s predatory nature,” Desari explained, excited. “The conversion would work. I just know it would.”

“And if it didn’t?” Tempest prompted.

Desari chewed her lower lip nervously, her gaze sliding away from Tempest’s. “You could become a deranged vampiress and would have to be destroyed.”