MacAran smiled wryly. “You can save your breath where I’m concerned,” he said, “the only girl I’m currently interested in doesn’t know I’m alive–or at least wishes I weren’t.” He had not even seen Camilla since his return.
Ewen said, “Judy, what about you? I looked up your Medic record; you’re at the age where contraception is voluntary instead of mandatory–”
She smiled faintly. “Because at my age I’m not likely to be taken unawares by emotion. I’ve not been sexually active on this voyage–there’s no one I’ve been interested in, so I’ve not bothered with the shots.”
“Well, check with Margaret Raimondi anyhow–she’s giving out emergency information just in case. Sex is voluntary, Judy, but information is mandatory. You can choose to abstain–but you ought to be free to choose not to, so run along to Margaret and pick up the information.”
She began to laugh and it struck MacAran that he had not seen Judith Lovat laugh since the day of the strange madness that had attacked them all. But the laughing seemed to have a hysterical note which made him uneasy, and he was relieved when she said at last, “Oh, very well. What harm can it do?” and went. Ewen looked after her with disquiet, too.
“I’m not happy about her. She seems to have been the only one permanently affected by whatever it was that hit us, but we haven’t psychiatrists to spare and anyhow she is able to do her work–which is a legal definition of sanity in any terms. Still, I hope she snaps out of it. Was she all right on the trip?”
MacAran nodded. He said thoughtfully, “Perhaps she had some experience she hasn’t told us about. She certainly seems at home here. Something like what you told me about MacLeod knowing the fruits were good to eat. Could an emotional shock develop latent psi powers?”
Ewen shook his head. “God only knows, and we’re too busy to check it out. Anyhow, how would you check out anything like that? As long as she’s normal enough to do her assigned work I can’t interfere with her.”
After leaving the hospital, MacAran walked through the encampment. Everything looked peaceful, from the small shop where farm tools were being constructed, to the ship area where machinery was being removed and stored. He found Camilla in the dome which had been wind-damaged the night of the fire; it had been repaired and reinforced, and the computer controls set up inside. She looked at him with what seemed open hostility.
“What do you want? Has Moray sent you here to order me to transform this into a weather station or some such thing?”
“No, but it sounds like a good idea,” MacAran said. “Another blizzard like the one that hit us the night of the fire, could wreck us if we weren’t warned.”
She came and looked up at him. Her arms were straight down at her sides, clenched into fists, and her face taut with anger. She said, “I think you must all be quite insane. I don’t expect anything more of the colonists–they’re just civilians and all they care about is getting their precious colony set up. But you, Rafe! You’ve had a scientist’s training, you ought to see what it means! All we have is the hope of repairing the ship–if we waste our resources on anything else, the chances get smaller and smaller!” She sounded frantic. “And we’ll be here forever’!’
MacAran said slowly, “Remember, Camilla, I was one of the colonists, too. I left Earth to join the Coronis colony–”
“But that’s a regular colony, with everything set up to make it to make it part of civilization,” Camilla said. “I can understand that. Your skills, your education, they’d be worth something!”
MacAran reached out and took her shoulders in his hands. “Camilla–” he said, and put all his yearning into the sound of her name. She didn’t actually respond, but she was quiet between his hands, looking up at him. Her face was drawn and miserable.
“Camilla, will you listen to me a minute? I’m with the Captain all the way, as far as acts go. I’m willing to do anything needful to make sure the ship gets off the ground. But I’m keeping in mind that it may not, after all, be possible, and I want to make sure we can survive if it isn’t.”