‘Thank you, yes,’ she replied. She returned her attention to the miniature tower-piece held in her fingers. She was silent for a while, then said, ‘So. What is going to happen, Amorphia? Can you tell me yet?’
The avatar gazed steadily at the woman. ‘We are heading very quickly towards the war zone,’ it said in a strange, almost childish voice. Then it sat forward, inspecting her closely. ‘War zone?’ Dajeil said, glancing at the board. ‘There is a war,’ the avatar confirmed, nodding. It assumed a grim expression.
‘Why? Where? Between whom?’
‘Because of a thing called an excession. Around the place where we are heading. Between the Culture and the Affront.’ It went on to explain a little of the background.
Dajeil turned the little tower-model over and over in her hands, frowning at it. Eventually she asked, ‘Is this Excession thing really as important as everybody seems to think?’
The avatar looked thoughtful for just a moment, then it spread its arms and shrugged. ‘Does it really matter?’ it said.
The woman frowned again, not understanding. ‘Doesn’t it matter more than anything?’
It shook its head. ‘Some things mean too much to matter,’ it said. It stood up and stretched. ‘Remember, Dajeil,’ it told her, ‘you can leave at any point. This ship will do as you wish.’
‘I’ll stick around for now,’ she told it. She looked briefly up at it. ‘When-?’
‘A couple of days,’ it told her. ‘All being well.’ It stood looking down at her for a while, watching her turn the small tower over and over in her fingers. Then it nodded and turned and quietly walked out of the room.
She hardly noticed it go. She leant forward and placed the small tower on an octagon towards the rear margin of the board, on a region of shore bordering the hem of blue that was supposed to represent the sea, near where, a few moves earlier, a ship-piece of Amorphia’s had landed a small force which had established a bridge-head. She had never placed a tower in such a position, in all their games. The board interpreted the move with the sound of screams once more, but this time the screams were the plaintive, plangent calls of sea birds calling out over the sound of heavy, pounding surf. A sharply briny odour filled the air above the board cube and she was back there, back then, with the sound of the sea birds and the smell of the dashing wild sea tangled in her hair, and the growing child continually heavy and sporadically lively, almost violent with its sudden, startling kicks, in her belly.
She sat cross-legged on the pebble shore, the tower at her back, the sun a great round red shield of fire plunging into the darkly unruly sea and throwing a blood-coloured curtain across the line of the cliffs a couple of kilometres inland. She gathered her shawl about her and ran a hand through her long black hair as best she could. It stuck, held up by knots. She didn’t try to pull them out; she’d rather look forward to the long, slow process of having them combed and cajoled and carefully teased out, later in the evening, by Byr.
Waves crashed on the shingle and rocks of the shore to either side of her in great sighing, soughing intakings of what sounded like the breath of some great sea creature, a gathering, deepening sound that ended in the small moment of half-silence before each great wave fell and burst against the tumbled, growling slope of rocks and stones, pushing and pulling and rolling the giant glistening pebbles in thudding concussions of water forcing its way amongst their spaces while the rocks slid and smacked and cracked against each other.
Directly in front of her, where there was a raised shelf of rock just under the surface of the sea, the waves breaking on the shallower slope in front of her were smaller, almost friendlier, and the main force of the grumbling, swelling ocean was met fifty metres out at a rough semicircle marked by a line of frothing surf.
She clasped her hands palm up on her lap, beneath the bulge of her belly, and closed her eyes. She breathed deeply, the ozone and the brine sharp in her nostrils, connecting her to the sea’s salty restlessness, making her, in her mind, again part of its great fluid coalescing of constancy and changefulness, imbuing her thoughts with something of that heaving, sheltering vastness, that world-cleaving cradle of layered, night-making depth.
Inside her mind, in the semi-trance she now assumed, she stepped smilingly down through her own fluid layers of protection and conformation, to where her baby lay, healthy and growing, half awake, half asleep, wholly beautiful.
Her own genetically altered body gently interrogated the placental processes protecting the joined but subtly different chemistries and inheritance of her child’s body from her own immune system and carefully, fairly managing the otherwise selfishly voracious demands the baby made upon her body’s resources of blood, sugars, proteins, minerals and energy.
The temptation was always to tamper, to fiddle with the settings that regulated everything, as though by such meddling one proved how carefully painstaking and watchful one was being, but she always resisted, content that there were no warning signs, no notice that some imbalance was threatening either her health or that of the fetus and happy to leave the body’s own systemic wisdom to prevail over the brain’s desire to intervene.
Shifting the focus of her concentration, she was able to use another designed-in sense no creature from any part of her typically distributed Cultural inheritance had ever possessed to look upon her soon-to-be child, modelling its shape in her mind from the information provided by a subset of specialised organisms swimming in the as yet unbroken water surrounding the fetus. She saw it; hunched and curled in an orbed spectrum of smooth pinks, crouched round its umbilical link with her as though it was concentrating on its supply of blood, trying to increase its flow-rate or nutritional saturation.
She marvelled at it, as she always did; at its bulbously headed beauty, at its strange air of blankly formless intensity. She counted its fingers and toes, inspected the tightly closed eyelids, smiled at the tiny budded cleft that spoke of the cells’ unprompted selection of congenital femaleness. Half her, half something strange and foreign. A new collection of matter and information to present to the universe and to which it in turn would be presented; different, arguably equal parts of that great ever-repetitive, ever-changing jurisdiction of being.
Reassured that all was well, she left the dimly aware being to continue its purposeful, unthinking growth, and returned to the part of the real world where she was sitting on the pebbled beach and the waves fell loud and foaming amongst the tumbled, rumbling rocks.
Byr was there when she opened her eyes, standing knee-deep in the small waves just in front of her, wet-suited, golden hair damply straggled in long ringlets, face dark against the display of ruddy sunset behind, found just in the act of taking off the suit’s face-mask.
‘Evening,’ she said, smiling.
Byr nodded and splashed up out of the water, sitting down beside her and putting an arm round her. ‘You okay?’
She held the fingers of the hand over her shoulder. ‘Both fine,’ she said. ‘And the gang?’
Byr laughed, peeling off the suit’s feet to reveal wrinkled pink-brown toes. ‘Sk’ilip’k’ has decided he likes the idea of walking on land; says he’s ashamed his ancestors went out of the ocean and then went back in again as if the air was too cold. He wants us to make him a walking machine. The others think he’s crazy, though there is some support for the idea of them all somehow going flying together. I left them a couple more screens and increased some of their access to the flight archives. They gave me this; for you.’
Byr handed her something from the suit’s side pouch.
‘Oh; thank you.’ She put the small figurine in one palm and turned it over carefully with her fingers, inspecting it by the fading red light of the day’s end. It was beautiful, worked out of some soft stone to perfectly resemble their idea of what they thought a human ought to look like; naturally flippered feet, legs joined to the knees, body fatter, shoulders slender, neck thicker, head narrower, hairless. It did look like her; the face, for all that it was distorted, bore a distinct resemblance. Probably G’Istig’tk’t’s work; there was a delicacy of line and a certain humour about the figurine’s facial expression that spoke to her of the old female’s personality. She held the little figure up in front of Byr. ‘Think it looks like me?’
‘Well, you’re certainly getting that fat.’
‘Oh!’ she said, slapping Byr lightly on the shoulder. She glanced down at her lap, reaching to pat her belly. ‘I think you’re starting to show yourself, at last,’ she said.