Dajeil studied the avatar a moment longer, then looked back at Genar-Hofoen. ‘And what about you, Byr?’ she asked. ‘What would you do?’
He shook his head. ‘You know,’ he said.
‘Still the same?’ she asked, a small smile on her face.
He nodded. His expression was similar to hers.
Ulver was looking from one to the other, brows creased, desperately trying to work out what was going on. Finally, when they still just sat there on opposite sides of the table giving each other this knowing grin, she threw her arms wide again and yelled, spluttering, ‘Well? Wbat?’
Seventy-two seconds elapsed.
Genar-Hofoen glanced at her. ‘I always said I’d live once and then die,’ he said. ‘Never to be reborn, never to enter a simulation.’ He shrugged and looked embarrassed. ‘Intensity,’ he said. ‘You know; make the most of your one time.’
Ulver rolled her eyes. ‘Yeah, I know,’ she said. She’d met a lot of people her own age, mostly male, who felt this way. Some people reckoned to live riskier and therefore more interesting lives because they did back-up a recorded mind-state every so often, while other people – like Genar-Hofoen, obviously (they’d been together for so brief a time it wasn’t something they’d got round to discussing yet) – believed that you were more likely to live your life that bit more vividly when you knew this was your one and only chance at it. She’d formed the impression this was the kind of thing people often said when they were young and then had second thoughts about as they got older. Personally Ulver had never had any time for this fashionable purist nonsense; she’d first decided she was going to live fully backed-up when she was eight. She supposed she ought to feel impressed that Genar-Hofoen was sticking to his principles in the face of imminent death – and she did feel a little admiration – but mostly she just thought he was being stupid.
She wondered whether she ought to mention that this might all be even more academic than they imagined; part of that referential knowledge she’d gained from the Sleeper Service’s senses when she’d gazed upon the expanding Excession had been the realisation that there was a theoretical possibility the phenomenon might overwhelm everything; the galaxy, the universe, everything…
Best not to say anything, she thought. Kinder not to. Sure had her heart thumping, though. She was surprised the others couldn’t hear it.
Oh shit. It isn’t all going to end here, is it? Fuck it; I’m too young to die!
No, of course they couldn’t hear her heart; she could probably start talking out loud right now and it would take them all the time they had left in this world to react, they were so wrapped up staring meaningfully into each other’s eyes.
Eighty-eight seconds elapsed.
VIII
There was not long now. The Sleeper Service sent signals to a variety of craft, including the Serious Callers Only and the Shoot Them Later. Almost immediately, the signals it had been waiting for came back from the What Is The Answer And Why? and the Use Psychology, relayed through the Grey Area and the Jaundiced Outlook.
The Excession’s expansion was localised; centred on the Sleeper Service itself but on a hugely broad front that encompassed all its distributed warcraft.
Ah well, it thought. It felt a dizzying sense of relief that at least it had not triggered some ultimate apocalypse. That it would die (as would, implicitly, all its warship children, the three humans aboard and possibly the Grey Area, the Jaundiced Outlook) was bad enough, but it could take some comfort that its actions had led to nothing worse.
The GSV never really knew why it did what it did next; perhaps it was a kind of desperation at work born of its appreciation of its impending destruction, perhaps it meant it as an act of defiance, perhaps it was even something closer to an act of art. Whatever; it took the running up-date of its mind-state, the current version of the final signal it would ever send, the communication that would contain its soul, and transmitted it directly ahead, signalling it into the maelstrom.
Then the Sleeper Service glanced back to the sensorium of its avatar aboard the Jaundiced Outlook.
At the same moment, the Excession’s expanding boundary started to change. The ship split its attention between the macro-cosmic and the human-scale.
‘How long have we got now?’ Genar-Hofoen asked.
‘Half a minute,’ Amorphia replied.
The man’s hands were on the table. He rolled his arms, letting his hands fall open. He gazed at Dajeil. ‘I’m sorry,’ he said.
She looked down, nodding.
He looked at Ulver, smiling sadly.
The Sleeper watched, fascinated. The wall of energy tumbling towards it sloped slowly back within both hyperspatial domains, forming two immense four-dimensional cones as the energy grid’s withering blast hesitated in its progress across the skein of real space even as its slowing wave-fronts still thrust out across the grids’ surfaces. The slopes’ angles increased as the boundary’s skein presence began to break up, detaching from the grids themselves and beginning to dissipate. Finally the separate waves on the grids began to dwindle, collapsing back from their tsunamic dimensions to become just oceanically enormous swells, deflating above and below the skein until they were mere twin waves advancing across both the energy grids towards the doubled furrows which the Sleeper’s own motors were still churning in the grid.
Then those twinned waves did the impossible; they went into reverse, retreating back towards the Excession’s start-point at exactly the same rate as the Sleeper was braking.
The GSV kept on slowing down, still finding it hard to believe it was going to live.
It reacts, it thought. It signalled abroad with the details of what had just happened, just in case it all got suddenly threatening again. It let Amorphia know what had happened, too.
It watched the ridges on the surface of the grids as they retreated before it and slowly shrank. The rate of attenuation implied a zero-state at exactly the point the Sleeper Service would come to an Excession-relative halt.
Did I do that?
Did my own mind-state persuade it of my meriting life?
It is a mirror, perhaps, it thought. It does what you do. It absorbed those ultimate absorbers, those promiscuous experiences, the Elench; it leaves alone and watches back those who come merely to watch in the first place.
I came at it like some rabid missile and it prepared to obliterate me; I backed off and it withdrew its balancing threat.
Only a theory, of course, but if it is correct…
This does not bode well for the Affront.
Come to think of it, it doesn’t bode all that well for the whole affair.
Bad timing, maybe.
IX
Dajeil looked up, tears in her eyes. ‘I-‘ she began.
‘Wait,’ the avatar said.
They all looked at it.
Ulver gave the creature what seemed to her like an extraordinarily long time to say something more. ‘What?’ she said, exasperated.
The avatar looked radiant. ‘I think we may be all right after all,’ it said, smiling.
There was silence for a moment. Then Ulver collapsed back dramatically in her seat, arms dangling towards the floor, legs splayed out under the table, gaze directed upwards at the translucent dome. ‘Fucking hell!’ she shouted. She tried accessing the Jaundiced Outlook’s senses, and eventually found a view of hyperspace ahead of the Sleeper Service. More or less back to normal, indeed. She shook her head. ‘Fucking hell,’ she muttered.
Dajeil began to weep. Genar-Hofoen sat forward, watching her, one hand to his mouth, pinching his lower lip.
The black bird Gravious, which had been peeking round the corner of the door and shivering with fear for the last few minutes, suddenly bounced beating into the air in a dark confusion of furious movement and started wheeling round the room screaming, ‘We’re alive! We’re going to live! It’s going to be all right! Yee-ha! Oh, life, life, sweet life!’
Neither Dajeil nor Genar-Hofoen seemed to notice it.
Ulver glanced from one to the other then leapt up and tried to grab the fluttering bird. It yelped. ‘Oi! What-?’
‘Out, you idiot!’ Ulver hissed, lunging at it again as it swooped for the door. She followed it, turning briefly to mutter, ‘Excuse me,’ to the others. She closed the door.
X
The Torturer class Rapid Offensive Unit Killing Time had been far enough away from the Sleeper Service and its war fleet not to have felt threatened by the Excession’s projected blast-front and yet close enough to see what the GSV had done.
It had looked upon the vast weapon that the Excession had unleashed and been dumbstruck with awe and a microscopic amount of jealousy; hell, it wished it could do that! But then the weapon had been turned off, called back. Now the Killing Time had a new series of emotions to cope with.