‘She is one of us now, Mace,’ he said. ‘She is no longer a whore.’But she is a whore,’ Mace pointed out. ‘It’s what she’s good at -and it’s what I need!’Leave her be, Jarek,’ I said. ‘She was forced into the life, and now she has chosen to forsake it.’
‘There’s nothing wrong with being a whore,’ Mace snapped.
‘Nor with not being one,’ put in Astiana.
‘I don’t need a nun to advise me about whores,’ Mace replied, angry now.
‘No, I would imagine you are expert enough in that area. After all, why would any woman sleep with you but for money?’They don’t do much sleeping, sister. But since Ilka has discovered purity, perhaps you would like to take her place. I’ll give you a silver penny for the poor.’ Astiana’s hand streaked for his face, but he caught her wrist and pulled her in close. ‘I like passion in a woman,’ he said, lifting her from her feet.
‘Let her go, Mace,’ said Piercollo, his voice dangerously low. The giant climbed to his feet, his huge hands clenched into fists.
Mace glanced at him and smiled, but there was no trace of humour in his eyes. Til not harm her,’ he told him, releasing the woman and stepping back.
Astiana’s face was flushed, her anger barely controlled. ‘To think,’ she said, ‘that I glorified your name to the people. You are no better than those you fight. You are a disgusting animal.’I never claimed to be otherwise,’ he responded. ‘Not once. But I am not here to live your dreams, and I am not responsible for them. I am a man trying to stay alive – and enjoy myself while doing it. Is that so wrong? And as as for disgusting animals? Well, I never saw an animal to fit that description. Plenty of men, yes, and a few women. But never an animal. And do not fear for your virtue with me, sister. I’ll not trouble you.’Turning away from her, he approached Piercollo. ‘Anything else you wish to say?’ he asked.
‘Nothing,’ the giant told him.
‘Don’t ever threaten me,’ Mace warned him. ‘Not ever!’She is of the Church,’ said Piercollo. ‘It is not right to treat her with disrespect.’A black dress does not command respect,’ hissed Mace. ‘I’ve known churchmen who were adulterers, torturers, killers. And I’ve shared the beds of a nun or two. They are just people, like you and me – only they are mostly weaker, clinging to superstition, hiding behind convent walls because they haven’t the courage to face real lives. Respect? I’ll tell you what I respect. Gold. It asks nothing and gives everything. It keeps you warm and it buys you
pleasure. And there’s not a man alive who won’t sell his soul for the right amount of it.’Spoken like the hero you are!’ stormed Astiana.
‘Hero?’ responded Mace. ‘Where are the heroes? The Angostins have slaughtered them all. There are no more heroes, sister. They lie upon the fields of battle, the crows feasting upon their eyes. They went into battle with clubs and staves, told they could defeat armoured knights and seasoned troops. And they believed it! Well, they had no chance, but they were heroes. That’s what heroes do, isn’t it? They tackle impossible odds and laugh in the face of death. Well, I saw no laughter. Only terror as the first charge clove their ranks and the swords and maces and spears and lances tore into their flesh. I am not a hero, Astiana. But I am alive.’The conversation died there. Wulf banked up the fire and Piercollo sat silently staring into the flames, while Astiana turned away from us and settled down to sleep with her back to the fire.
I felt low then, a deep depression hanging over me. We tend to think of heroes as men apart – their angers are always colossal, but they rage only against the foe. We rarely see them in a damp forest, complaining about the cold, and never think of them urinating against a tree. They never suffer toothache, their noses are neverred from sneezing in the winter. Thus we strip away the reality.
In tales of old the sun shines brighter, the winter snow becomes beautiful, an Elven cloak upon the land. And the hero rides a white stallion and searches for the monster who has kidnapped the princess. Always he finds her, slaying the beast who took her.