Jack Higgins – Confessional

‘But the things you’ve done. The killing,’ she said. ‘Innocent people.’

‘There cannot be innocence in this world, not with Man in it. The Church teaches us that. There is always iniquity in this life – life is unfair. We must deal with the world as it is, not as it might have been.’

‘Jesus!’ Devlin said. ‘One minute you’re Cuchulain, the next you’re a priest again. Have you any idea who you really are?’

‘When I am priest, then priest I am,’ Cussane told him. ‘There is no avoiding that. The Church would be the first to say it in spite of what I have been. But the other me fights for his country. I have nothing to apologize for. I’m at war.’

‘Very convenient,’ Devlin said. ‘So, the Church gives you your answer or is it the KGB – or is there a difference?’

‘Does it matter?’

‘Damn you, Harry, tell me one thing? How did you know we were on to you? How did you know about Tanya? Was it me?’ he exploded. ‘But how could it have been me?’

‘You mean you checked your telephone as usual?’ Cussane was at the drinks cabinet now, the Stechkin in his hand. He poured Bushmills into three glasses, carried them on a tray to the table in front of the sofa, took one and stepped back. ‘I was using special equipment up there in the attic of my place. Directional microphone and other stuff. There wasn’t much that went on here that I missed.’

Devlin took a deep breath, but when he lifted his glass, his hand was steady. ‘So much for friendship.’ He swallowed the whiskey. ‘So, what happens now?’

To you?’

‘No, to you, you fool. Where do you go, Harry? Back home

to dear old Mother Russia?’ He shook his head and turned to Tanya. ‘Come to think of it, Russia isn’t his home.’

Cussane didn’t feel anger then. There was no despair in his heart. All his life, he had played each part that was required of him, cultivated the kind of professional coolness necessary for a well-judged performance. There had been little room for real emotion in his life. Any action, even the good ones, had been simply a reaction to the given situation, an essential part of the performance. Or so he told himself. And yet he truly liked Devlin, always had. And the girl? He looked at Tanya now. He did not want to harm the girl.

Devlin, as if sensing a great deal of this, said softly, ‘Where do you run, Harry? Is there anywhere?’

‘No,’ Harry Cussane said calmly. ‘Nowhere to go. No place to hide. For what I have done, your IRA friends would dispose of me without hesitation. Ferguson certainly would not want me alive. Nothing to be gained from that. I would only be a liability.’

‘And your own people? Once back in Moscow, it would be the Gulag for sure. At the end of the day, you’re a failure and they don’t like that.’

‘True,’ Cussane nodded. ‘Except in one respect. They don’t even want me back, Liam. They just want me dead. They’ve already tried. To them also I would only be an embarrassment.’

There was silence at his words, then Tanya said, ‘But what happens? What do you do?’

‘God knows,’ he said. ‘I am a dead man walking, my dear. Liam understands that. He’s right. There is no place for me to run. Today, tomorrow, next week. If I stay in Ireland McGuiness and his men will have my head, wouldn’t you agree, Liam?’

‘True enough.’

Cussane stood up and paced up and down, holding the Stechkin against his knee. He turned to Tanya. ‘You think life was cruel to a little girl back there in Drumore in the rain? You know how old I was? Twenty years of age. Life was cruel when they hanged my father. When my mother

agreed to take me back to Russia. When Paul Cherny picked me out at the age of fifteen as a specimen with interesting possibilities for the KGB.’ He sat down again. ‘If my mother and I had been left alone in Dublin, who knows what might have happened to that one great talent I possessed. The Abbey Theatre, London, the Old Vic, Stratford?’ He shrugged. ‘Instead…’

Pages: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108

Leave a Reply 0

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *