The door closed behind him before she could assemble a coherent reply. Once she was alone, she lay back on the bunk and threw her arm over her eyes, fighting die shameful desire to weep.
Shameful to her, or Tyr? Or to both of them, the wild girl grown to womanhood and the man who had been robbed of his life and his true destiny?
A cool nose brushed her cheek. She reached for Archie and pulled him onto her chest, savoring his uncomplicated loyalty.
“I always thought I knew what I wanted,” she said into his fur. “I had no conception of life beyond Dharma, only a child’s grand illusions. Tyr should have taught me better, but how much have I learned?”
Archimedes purred close to her ear and tapped her cheek with his paw. “On Dharma it was simple, wasn’t it? I was a hellion, a rebel. Rebellion itself defined me. Where is my rebellion now, Archie? Who am I fighting?” She laughed. “Don’t answer. I know exactly who my greatest enemy is. I’m the captain, a D’Accorso to my Dharman crew, equal or superior to everyone on board. Tell me why I want a stranger as I’ve never wanted anything in my life? Why do I insist on seeing myself in Ronan, and him in me?”
If Archie had an answer, he kept it entirely to himself.
The Pegasus had two scheduled stops on its way to Dharma, first at Scholar-Commander Adumbe’s world, Nemesis, where they delivered a new reactor for the primary dome’s life support system, and then at the struggling settlement on Matisse.
Nemesis was a harsh world, and its only city lay under domes requiring constant repair. The atmosphere was a vast cloud of ammonia and other toxic gasses. Outside the dome, the landscape was composed of lifeless volcanic rock. On the whole, the planet reminded Cynara of her own state of mind.
Adumbe disembarked to visit his family while Cargomaster Basterra saw to the offloading of the reactor and supporting equipment. All was as it should be except in one vital and very personal respect.
It was impossible for Cynara to pretend that nothing had • happened between her and Ronan. Their minds had opened to each other; she was constantly aware of him, even when he was not physically present.
Thank God he was only beginning to learn how to handle his abilities. As long as she remained alert, she could keep him from inadvertently skimming her thoughts. On Dharma, she hoped that Uncle Jesper would assume responsibility for Ronan and the problems he represented. Magnus Jesper Siannas had the power and influence to protect Ronan and see that he got the help he needed.
Then she could go back to routine, free and unencumbered. Or could she?
‘The Nemesians couldn’t survive if their life support system broke down,” she said to Ronan as they stood at the aft viewport watching the Thalassa carry its payload into the planet’s chaotic atmosphere. “Before the blockade, Concordat engineers were helping them strengthen the domes’ systems. Now it’s all we can do to keep them patched together.”
“Why did humans choose such an inhospitable world to settle?” Ronan asked.
“The colony was founded by a woman who believed that only in isolation could she achieve the intellectual climate she wanted for her followers. On Nemesis there were no distractions from development of the mind. The Nemesians are curious by nature, but also very insular. Few would be willing to leave.”
“Yet Adumbe did so.”
There was more she could have told him about Adumbe and the contributions Nemesians had made to the Pegasus and its mission, but that topic cut too close to secrets she wasn’t authorized to share. She was satisfied that she’d made a point: Humans helped each other, even when they faced almost overwhelming odds.
She took Ronan with her on the shuttle to Matisse, a planet well suited to human occupation. But the blockade had prevented the settlers from prospering. They were in desperate need of medical supplies that only the Concordat could provide. On this run, the Pegasus brought enough to arrest a particularly nasty illness attacking the colony’s children and elderly.