suppose they are, as I see some of them in every Page of every
Music book, being the sentiments I imagine of the composer.
I executed my Plan with great Punctuality. I can not say
success, for alas! my silence while she played seemed not in the
least to displease her; on the contrary she actually said to me
one day ” Well Charlotte, I am very glad to find that you have at
last left off that ridiculous custom of applauding my Execution
on the Harpsichord till you made my head ake, and yourself
hoarse. I feel very much obliged to you for keeping your
admiration to yourself.” I never shall forget the very witty
answer I made to this speech. “Eloisa (said I) I beg you would
be quite at your Ease with respect to all such fears in future,
for be assured that I shall always keep my admiration to myself
and my own pursuits and never extend it to yours.” This was the
only very severe thing I ever said in my Life; not but that I
have often felt myself extremely satirical but it was the only
time I ever made my feelings public.
I suppose there never were two Young people who had a greater
affection for each other than Henry and Eloisa; no, the Love of
your Brother for Miss Burton could not be so strong tho’ it might
be more violent. You may imagine therefore how provoked my
Sister must have been to have him play her such a trick. Poor
girl! she still laments his Death with undiminished constancy,
notwithstanding he has been dead more than six weeks; but some
People mind such things more than others. The ill state of
Health into which his loss has thrown her makes her so weak, and
so unable to support the least exertion, that she has been in
tears all this Morning merely from having taken leave of Mrs.
Marlowe who with her Husband, Brother and Child are to leave
Bristol this morning. I am sorry to have them go because they
are the only family with whom we have here any acquaintance, but
I never thought of crying; to be sure Eloisa and Mrs Marlowe have
always been more together than with me, and have therefore
contracted a kind of affection for each other, which does not
make Tears so inexcusable in them as they would be in me. The
Marlowes are going to Town; Cliveland accompanies them; as
neither Eloisa nor I could catch him I hope you or Matilda may
have better Luck. I know not when we shall leave Bristol,
Eloisa’s spirits are so low that she is very averse to moving,
and yet is certainly by no means mended by her residence here. A
week or two will I hope determine our Measures–in the mean time
believe me and etc–and etc–
Charlotte Lutterell.
LETTER the EIGHTH
Miss LUTTERELL to Mrs MARLOWE
Bristol April 4th
I feel myself greatly obliged to you my dear Emma for such a mark
of your affection as I flatter myself was conveyed in the
proposal you made me of our Corresponding; I assure you that it
will be a great releif to me to write to you and as long as my
Health and Spirits will allow me, you will find me a very
constant correspondent; I will not say an entertaining one, for
you know my situation suffciently not to be ignorant that in me
Mirth would be improper and I know my own Heart too well not to
be sensible that it would be unnatural. You must not expect news
for we see no one with whom we are in the least acquainted, or in
whose proceedings we have any Interest. You must not expect
scandal for by the same rule we are equally debarred either from
hearing or inventing it.–You must expect from me nothing but
the melancholy effusions of a broken Heart which is ever
reverting to the Happiness it once enjoyed and which ill supports
its present wretchedness. The Possibility of being able to
write, to speak, to you of my lost Henry will be a luxury to me,