I won’t think about it, he told himself, stepping back from the poster. And when a voice from deep within his mind — a dangerously adult voice — protested that he was being paid to think about stuff like this, to tell about stuff like this, Bobby told the voice to just shut up.
And the voice did.
When he got home, his mother was sitting on the porch glider again, this time mending the sleeve of a housedress. She looked up and Bobby saw the puffy skin beneath her eyes, the reddened lids. She had a Kleenex folded into one hand.
‘Mom — ?’
What’s wrong? was how the thought finished . . . but finishing it would be unwise. Would likely cause trouble. Bobby had had no recurrence of his brilliant insights on the day of the trip to Savin Rock, but he knew her — the way she looked at him when she was upset, the way the hand with the Kleenex in it tensed, almost becoming a fist, the way she drew in breath and sat up straighter, ready to give you a fight if you wanted to go against her.
‘What?’ she asked him. ‘Got something on your mind besides your hair?’
‘No,’ he said. His voice sounded awkward and oddly shy to his own ears. ‘I was at Sterling House. The lists are up for baseball. I’m a Wolf again this summer.’
She nodded and relaxed a little. ‘I’m sure you’ll make the Lions next year.’ She moved her sewing basket from the glider to the porch floor, then patted the empty place. ‘Sit down here beside me a minute, Bobby. I’ve got something to tell you.’
Bobby sat with a feeling of trepidation — she’d been crying, after all, and she sounded quite grave — but it turned out not to be a big deal, at least as far as he could see.
‘Mr Biderman — Don — has invited me to go with him and Mr Cushman and Mr Dean to a seminar in Providence. It’s a big chance for me.’
‘What’s a seminar?’
‘A sort of conference — people get together to learn about a subject and discuss it. This one is Real Estate in the Sixties. I was very surprised that Don would invite me. Bill Cushman and Curtis Dean, of course I knew they’d be going, they’re agents. But for Don to ask me . . . ‘ She trailed off for a moment, then turned to Bobby and smiled. He thought it was a genuine smile, but it went oddly with her reddened lids. ‘I’ve wanted to become an agent myself for the longest time, and now this, right out of the blue . . . it’s a big chance for me, Bobby, and it could mean a big change for us.’
Bobby knew his mom wanted to sell real estate. She had books on the subject and read a little out of them almost every night, often underlining parts. But if it was such a big chance, why had it made her cry?
‘Well, that’s good,’ he said. ‘The ginchiest. I hope you learn a lot. When is it?’
‘Next week. The four of us leave early Tuesday morning and get back Thursday night around eight o’clock. All the meetings are at the Warwick Hotel, and that’s where we’ll be staying — Don’s booked the rooms. I haven’t stayed in a hotel room for twelve years, I guess.
I’m a little nervous.’
Did nervous make you cry? Bobby wondered. Maybe so, if you were a grownup —
especially a female grownup.
‘I want you to ask S-J if you can stay with him Tuesday and Wednesday night. I’m sure
Mrs Sullivan — ‘
Bobby shook his head. ‘That won’t work.’
‘Whyever not?’ Liz bent a fierce look at him. ‘Mrs Sullivan hasn’t ever minded you staying over before. You haven’t gotten into her bad books somehow, have you?’
‘No, Mom. It’s just that S-J won a week at Camp Winnie.’ The sound of all those W’s coming out of his mouth made him feel like smiling, but he held it in. His mother was still looking at him in that fierce way . . . and wasn’t there a kind of panic in that look? Panic or something like it?
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