The slaveholder, kind or cruel, is a slaveholder still – the every hour violator of the just and inalienable rights of man; and he is, therefore, every hour silently whetting the knife of vengeance for his own throat. He never lisps a syllable in commendation of the fathers of this republic, nor denounces any attempted oppression of himself, without inviting the knife to his own throat, and asserting the rights of rebellion for his own slaves.
The year is ended, and we are now in the midst of the Christmas holidays, which are kept this year as last, according to the general description previously given.
Chapter 19
The Run-Away Plot
NEW YEAR’S THOUGHTS AND MEDITATIONS – AGAIN BOUGHT BY FREELAND – NO AMBITION TO BE A SLAVE – KINDNESS NO COMPENSATION FOR SLAVERY – INCIPIENT STEPS TOWARD ESCAPE – CONSIDERATIONS LEADING THERETO – IRRECONCILABLE HOSTILITY TO SLAVERY – SOLEMN VOW TAKEN – PLAN DIVULGED TO THE SLAVES – Columbian Orator – SCHEME GAINS FAVOR, DESPITE PRO-SLAVERY PREACHING – DANGER OF DISCOVERY – SKILL OF SLAVEHOLDERS IN READING THE MINDS OF THEIR SLAVES – SUSPICION AND COERCION – HYMNS WITH DOUBLE MEANING – VALUE, IN DOLLARS, OF OUR COMPANY – PRELIMINARY CONSULTATION – PASS-WORD – CONFLICTS OF HOPE AND FEAR – DIFFICULTIES TO BE OVERCOME – IGNORANCE OF GEOGRAPHY – SURVEY OF IMAGINARY DIFFICULTIES – EFFECT ON OUR MINDS – PATRICK HENRY – SANDY BECOMES A DREAMER – ROUTE TO THE NORTH LAID OUT – OBJECTIONS CONSIDERED – FRAUDS PRACTICED ON FREEMEN – PASSES WRITTEN – ANXIETIES AS THE TIME DREW NEAR – DREAD OF FAILURE – APPEALS TO COMRADES – STRANGE PRESENTIMENT – COINCIDENCE – THE BETRAYAL DISCOVERED – THE MANNER OF ARRESTING US – RESISTANCE MADE BY HENRY HARRIS – ITS EFFECT – THE UNIQUE SPEECH OF MRS. FREELAND – OUR SAD PROCESSION TO PRISON – BRUTAL JEERS BY THE MULTITUDE ALONG THE ROAD – PASSES EATEN – THE DENIAL – SANDY TOO WELL LOVED TO BE SUSPECTED – DRAGGED BEHIND HORSES – THE JAIL A RELIEF – A NEW SET OF TORMENTORS – SLAVE-TRADERS – JOHN, CHARLES AND HENRY RELEASED – ALONE IN PRISON – I AM TAKEN OUT, AND SENT TO BALTIMORE.
I am now at the beginning of the year 1836, a time favorable for serious thoughts. The mind naturally occupies itself with the mysteries of life in all its phases – the ideal, the real and the actual. Sober people look both ways at the beginning of the year, surveying the errors of the past, and providing against possible errors of the future. I, too, was thus exercised. I had little pleasure in retrospect, and the prospect was not very brilliant. “Notwithstanding,” thought I, “the many resolutions and prayers I have made, in behalf of freedom, I am, this first day of the year 1836, still a slave, still wandering in the depths of spirit-devouring thralldom. My faculties and powers of body and soul are not my own, but are the property of a fellow mortal, in no sense superior to me, except that he has the physical power to compel me to be owned and controlled by him. By the combined physical force of the community, I am his slave – a slave for life.” With thoughts like these, I was perplexed and chafed; they rendered me gloomy and disconsolate. The anguish of my mind may not be written.
At the close of the year 1835, Mr. Freeland, my temporary master, had bought me of Capt. Thomas Auld, for the year 1836. His promptness in securing my services, would have been flattering to my vanity, had I been ambitious to win the reputation of being a valuable slave. Even as it was, I felt a slight degree of complacency at the circumstance. It showed he was as well pleased with me as a slave, as I was with him as a master. I have already intimated my regard for Mr. Freeland, and I may say here, in addressing northern readers – where is no selfish motive for speaking in praise of a slaveholder – that Mr. Freeland was a man of many excellent qualities, and to me quite preferable to any master I ever had.
But the kindness of the slavemaster only gilds the chain of slavery, and detracts nothing from its weight or power. The thought that men are made for other and better uses than slavery, thrives best under the gentle treatment of a kind master. But the grim visage of slavery can assume no smiles which can fascinate the partially enlightened slave, into a forgetfulness of his bondage, nor of the desirableness of liberty.
I was not through the first month of this, my second year with the kind and gentlemanly Mr. Freeland, before I was earnestly considering and advising plans for gaining that freedom, which, when I was but a mere child, I had ascertained to be the natural and inborn right of every member of the human family. The desire for this freedom had been benumbed, while I was under the brutalizing dominion of Covey; and it had been postponed, and rendered inoperative, by my truly pleasant Sunday school engagements with my friends, during the year 1835, at Mr. Freeland’s. It had, however, never entirely subsided. I hated slavery, always, and the desire for freedom only needed a favorable breeze, to fan it into a blaze, at any moment. The thought of only being a creature of the present and the past, troubled me, and I longed to have a future – a future with hope in it. To be shut up entirely to the past and present, is abhorrent to the human mind; it is to the soul – whose life and happiness is unceasing progress – what the prison is to the body; a blight and mildew, a hell of horrors. The dawning of this, another year, awakened me from my temporary slumber, and roused into life my latent, but long cherished aspirations for freedom. I was now not only ashamed to be contented in slavery, but ashamed to seem to be contented, and in my present favorable condition, under the mild rule of Mr. F., I am not sure that some kind reader will not condemn me for being over ambitious, and greatly wanting in proper humility, when I say the truth, that I now drove from me all thoughts of making the best of my lot, and welcomed only such thoughts as led me away from the house of bondage. The intense desires, now felt, to be free, quickened by my present favorable circumstances, brought me to the determination to act, as well as to think and speak. Accordingly, at the beginning of this year 1836, I took upon me a solemn vow, that the year which had now dawned upon me should not close, without witnessing an earnest attempt, on my part, to gain my liberty. This vow only bound me to make my escape individually; but the year spent with Mr. Freeland had attached me, as with “hooks of steel,” to my brother slaves. The most affectionate and confiding friendship existed between us; and I felt it my duty to give them an opportunity to share in my virtuous determination by frankly disclosing to them my plans and purposes. Toward Henry and John Harris, I felt a friendship as strong as one man can feel for another; for I could have died with and for them. To them, therefore, with a suitable degree of caution, I began to disclose my sentiments and plans; sounding them, the while on the subject of running away, provided a good chance should offer. I scarcely need tell the reader, that I did my very best to imbue the minds of my dear friends with my own views and feelings. Thoroughly awakened, now, and with a definite vow upon me, all my little reading, which had any bearing on the subject of human rights, was rendered available in my communications with my friends. That (to me) gem of a book, the Columbian Orator, with its eloquent orations and spicy dialogues, denouncing oppression and slavery – telling of what had been dared, done and suffered by men, to obtain the inestimable boon of liberty – was still fresh in my memory, and whirled into the ranks of my speech with the aptitude of well trained soldiers, going through the drill. The fact is, I here began my public speaking. I canvassed, with Henry and John, the subject of slavery, and dashed against it the condemning brand of God’s eternal justice, which it every hour violates. My fellow servants were neither indifferent, dull, nor inapt. Our feelings were more alike than our opinions. All, however, were ready to act, when a feasible plan should be proposed. “Show us how the thing is to be done,” said they, “and all is clear.”
We were all, except Sandy, quite free from slaveholding priestcraft. It was in vain that we had been taught from the pulpit at St. Michael’s, the duty of obedience to our masters; to recognize God as the author of our enslavement; to regard running away an offense, alike against God and man; to deem our enslavement a merciful and beneficial arrangement; to esteem our condition, in this country, a paradise to that from which we had been snatched in Africa; to consider our hard hands and dark color as God’s mark of displeasure, and as pointing us out as the proper subjects of slavery; that the relation of master and slave was one of reciprocal benefits; that our work was not more serviceable to our masters, than our master’s thinking was serviceable to us. I say, it was in vain that the pulpit of St. Michael’s had constantly inculcated these plausible doctrine. Nature laughed them to scorn. For my own part, I had now become altogether too big for my chains. Father Lawson’s solemn words, of what I ought to be, and might be, in the providence of God, had not fallen dead on my soul. I was fast verging toward manhood, and the prophecies of my childhood were still unfulfilled. The thought, that year after year had passed away, and my resolutions to run away had failed and faded – that I was still a slave, and a slave, too, with chances for gaining my freedom diminished and still diminishing – was not a matter to be slept over easily; nor did I easily sleep over it.