And then she thought, I’ll tell Eric. He’s a doctor; he’ll be able to help me. I’ll go to Cheyenne for that, not for them.
‘Will you do me one favor?’ Jonas Ackerman was saying to her. ‘For heaven’s sake, Kathy; listen.’ Again he squeezed her arm.
‘I’m listening,’ she said with irritation. ‘And let go.’ She tugged her arm away, stepped back from him, feeling rage. ‘Don’t treat me like this; I can’t stand it.’ She glared at him.
Carefully, in a deliberately calm voice, Jonas said to her, ‘We’ll let you follow your husband to Cheyenne, Kathy, if you promise to wait twenty-four hours before you go.’
‘Why?’ She could not understand.
‘So that this initial period of shock at the separation has a chance to wear off,’ Jonas said. ‘I’m hoping that in twenty-four hours you’ll see your way clear to changing your mind. And meanwhile—’ He glanced at Virgil; the old man nodded in agreement. ‘I’ll stay with you,’ Jonas said to her. ‘All day and night, if necessary.’
Appalled, she said, ‘Like hell you will. I won’t—’
‘I know there’s something wrong with you,’ Jonas said quietly. ‘It’s obvious. I don’t think you should be left alone. I’m making it my responsibility to see that nothing happens to you.’ He added in a low voice, ‘You’re too valuable to us to do something terminal.’ Again, and this time with harsh firmness, he took hold of her arm. ‘Come on; let’s go downstairs to your office – it’ll do you good to get wrapped up in your work, and I’ll just sit quietly, not interfering. After work tonight, I’ll fly you up to L.A. to Spingler’s for dinner; I know you like sea food.’ He guided her toward the door of the office.
She thought, I’ll get away. You’re not that smart, Jonas; sometime today, perhaps tonight. I’ll lose you and go to Cheyenne. Or rather, she thought with nausea and an upsurge of her former terror, I’ll lose you, dump you, slip away from you in the labyrinth that’s the night city of Tijuana, where all kinds of things, some of them terrible, some of them wonderful and full of beauty, happen. Tijuana will be too much for you. It’s almost too much for me. And I know it fairly well; I’ve spent so much of my time, my life, in Tijuana at night.
And look how it’s worked out, she thought bitterly. I wanted to find something pure and mystical in life and instead I wound up spliced to people who hate us, who dominate our race. Our ally, she thought. We ought to be fighting them; it’s clear to me now. If I ever get to see Molinari alone at Cheyenne – and maybe I will – I’ll tell him that, tell him we have the wrong ally and the wrong enemy.
‘Mr Ackerman,’ she said, turning urgently to Virgil. ‘I have to go to Cheyenne to tell the Secretary something. It affects all of us; it has to do with the war effort.’
Virgil Ackerman said drily. Tell me and I’ll tell him. There’s a better chance that way; you’ll never get to see him .. . not unless you’re one of his bambinos or cousins.’
‘That’s it,’ she said. ‘I’m his child.’ It made perfect sense to her; all of them on Terra were children of the UN Secretary. And they had been expecting their father to lead them to safety. But somehow he had failed.
Unresistingly, she followed Jonas Ackerman. ‘I know what you’re doing,’ she said to him. ‘You’re using this opportunity, with Eric away and me in this terrible state, to take sexual advantage of me.’
Jonas laughed. ‘Well, we’ll see.’ His laugh, to her, did not sound guilty; it sounded sleekly confident.
‘Yes,’ she agreed, thinking of the ‘Star policeman Corning. ‘We’ll see how lucky you are in making out with me. Personally I wouldn’t bet on it.’ She did not bother to remove his big, determined hand from her shoulder; it would only reappear.
‘You know,’ Jonas said, ‘if I didn’t know better, I’d say from the way you’ve been acting that you’re on a substance which we call JJ-180.’ He added, ‘But you couldn’t be because there’s no way you could get hold of it.’
Staring at him Kathy said, ‘What—’ She couldn’t go on.
‘It’s a drug,’ Jonas said. ‘Developed by one of our subsidiaries.’
‘It wasn’t developed by the reegs?’
‘Frohedadrine, or JJ-180, was developed in Detroit, last year, by a firm which TF&D controls called Hazeltine Corporation. It’s a major weapon in the war – or will be when it’s in production, which will be later this year.’
‘Because,’ she said numbly, ‘it’s so addictive?’
‘Hell no. Many drugs are addictive, starting with the opium derivatives. Because of the nature of the hallunications it causes its users.’ He explained, ‘It’s hallucinogenic, as LSD was,’
Kathy said. Tell me about the hallucinations.’
‘I can’t; that’s classified military information.’
Laughing sharply, she said, ‘Oh God – so the only way I could find out would be to take it.’
‘How can you take it? It’s not available, and even when it’s in production we wouldn’t conceivably under any circumstance allow our own population to use it – the stuff’s toxic!’ He glared at her. ‘Don’t even talk about using it; every test animal to which it was administered died. Forget I even mentioned it; I thought Eric had probably told you about it – I shouldn’t have brought it up, but you have been acting strangely; it made me think of JJ-180 because I’m so scared – we all are – that someone, some way, will get hold of it on the domestic market, one of our own people.’
Kathy said, ‘Let’s hope that never happens.’ She felt like laughing, still; the whole thing was insane. The ‘Starmen had obtained the drug on Terra but pretended to have gotten it from the reegs. Poor Terra, she thought. We can’t even get credit for this, for this noxious, destructive chemical which destroys the mind – as Jonas says, a potent weapon of war. And who’s using it? Our ally. And on whom? On us. The irony is complete; it forms a circle. Certainly cosmic justice that a Terran should be one of the first to become addicted to it.
Frowning, Jonas said, ‘You asked if JJ-180 hadn’t been developed by the enemy; that suggests you have heard of it. So Eric did mention it to you. It’s all right; only knowledge of its properties is classified, not its existence. The reegs know we’ve been experimenting with drug warfare for decades, back into the twentieth century. It’s one of Terra’s specialties.’ He chuckled.
‘Maybe we’ll win after all,’ Kathy said. That ought to cheer up Gino Molinari. Perhaps he’ll be able to stay in office with the assistance of a few new miracle weapons. Is he counting on this? Does he know?’
‘Of course Molinari knows; Hazeltine has kept him informed at every stage of development. But for chrissake don’t go and—’
‘I won’t get you in trouble,’ Kathy said. I think I’ll get you addicted to JJ-180, she said to herself. That’s what you deserve; everyone who helped develop it, who knows about it. Stay with me night and day during the next twenty-four hours, she thought. Eat with me, go to bed with me, and by the time it’s over you’ll be earmarked for death just as I am. And then, she thought, maybe I can get Eric on it. Him most of all.
I’ll carry it with me to Cheyenne, Kathy decided. Infect everyone there, the Mole and his entourage. And for a good reason.
They’ll be forced to discover a method of breaking the addiction. Their own lives will depend on it, not just mine. And for me alone it wouldn’t be worth seeking; even Eric wouldn’t have tried, and certainly Corning and his people don’t care – no one cares about me, when you get right down to it.
This was probably not at all what Corning and those above him had in mind in sending her to Cheyenne. But that was just too bad; this was what she intended to do.
‘It’ll go in their water supply,’ Jonas was explaining. The reegs – they maintain huge central water sources, as Mars did once. JJ-180 will be introduced there, carried throughout their planet. I admit it sounds desperate on our part, a – you know. A tour de force. But actually it’s very rational and reasonable.’
‘I’m not criticizing it at all,’ Kathy said. ‘In fact I think the idea sounds brilliant.’
The elevator arrived; they entered and descended.
‘Look what the ordinary citizen of Terra doesn’t know,’ Kathy said. ‘He goes merrily on about his daily life … it would never occur to him that his government has developed a drug that in one exposure turns you into a – how would you put it, Jonas? Something less than a robant? Certainly less than human. I wonder where you would place it on the evolutionary ladder.’